Big Fat Denial

Perhaps it has happened to you, or someone you love. You wake up one morning and OMG you're fat! How could this happen? You thought you looked OK and then BAM, you realize that you are, in fact, overweight. For some it is 10 pounds, for others it is a 200 pound weight gain that went "unnoticed." I call this fat denial.

Generally there will be some event that causes one to wake up to the fact of their current size. For Ellen, she was out walking with her husband one day when she caught a glimpse of a woman in a store window. Her immediate thought was, "That is an overweight, middle-aged woman." Then she saw her husband in the window too. Then she realized her husband was walking next to this fat, middle-aged woman. Then she realized that woman was herself. She couldn't believe it. She didn't think of herself as fat or middle-aged. Ellen had always been thin and very attractive. She was 38 when she had this revelation and wasn't ready to see herself as middle-aged, or fat.

For Bill, he thought he looked good. He knew he had put on some weight, as his clothes stopped fitting, but he didn't get on the scale and didn't want to. He loved to eat and didn't want anything to interfere with that. It wasn't until Bill saw a photograph of himself that he came out of fat denial. He told me that when he looked down, his legs looked the same to him, so he was shocked at what he really looked like.

If you are in some form of fat denial, you may find yourself avoiding the scale. This can go so far as avoiding going to the doctor as they always weigh you there. You may avoid having photos taken, or hide in the back if you have to. You most likely avoid wearing a bathing suit or shopping for clothes. This all takes energy to keep it going.

If you think you might be in some form of fat denial, I challenge you to get on the scale. You have to face it to change it. You weigh that number whether you choose to look at it or not, so go ahead and get honest with yourself. It is the first step on the road to changing your weight.

That's it for now. Good luck and let me know how you're doing.

If you'd like to participate in the research for Irene's new book about the process of weight loss, please visit http://www.eatingdisordertherapist.com/ and take the survey.

Comments

[Catothemuchyounger]

I wish people would start by focusing on the need for exercise rather than the mere presence of too much fat. Even if someone does not slim down much, they will start getting immediate health benefits from working out.

During the summer where I worked, I used to see two young ladies jogging every lunch hour. One of them was long and lithe, the other quite chubby. As I would drive by them at different places on their route, I know they were covering some ground and going consistently at a pretty good pace. That chubby girl did not seem to get any slimmer, but she was certainly in far better shape than most thin people, and healthier to boot.

[cyranorox]

Denial? better to check how you feel, how your mate feels [does he/she want a dieter?], how well you do what you do [are you a runner? equestrian?]. Are you sure about the criteria of attractiveness, and the value of it to your life? Are you sure you want attractiveness at the cost it will take? Toss the scale. If you are hampered, everyone seems to believe you can lose weight; I am not so sure. Some can, and presume to be general examples.

[LaniMuelrath]

Irene, I had to do a double take when I saw your "lost 50 lbs and kept it off" comment - because that is true for me, too!

Congratulations!

Lani

http://www.thetruthaboutfatlossforwomen.com

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Same to you!!!

[willclower]

Hi Irene. Thank you for this post.

"Weight tracking" as a tool to control the pounds is interesting, because our culture tends to rely on this to a greater extent than others. The French culture, for example, does not agonize over pounds. Indeed, they will froth at you if you suggest that their low weight results from a "diet". After living there for 2 years, I saw that their success begins with their cultural habits at the table.

I now teach the Mediterranean diet to Americans by training these cultural habits of eating, fork control, pacing, etc. What I find is that, once these behavioral habits are conditioned, "weight tracking" becomes unnecessary. Most actually throw the scale away.

I know this is not typical, and that the very success of the Weight Watchers business model is built around our need to track our weight as an aid to compliance. However, our American cultural habits have produced seadily increasing obesity.

With great respect, I just think there may be a fundamentally different, and more effective, approach.

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi willclower,

Thank you for your comment. This blog is addressed to those who have been paying no attention to their weight at all. Once someone comes out of that space and begins to address the issue, there are many different ways to go. The French culture trumps ours for sure when it comes to eating style, speed, portions, etc... The Mediterranean diet trumps ours as well for its health benefits and overall calories. We should all move to France!

[LaniMuelrath]

Interesting timing, Irene! I just posted an article on my blog regarding some recent research reported by the The International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity. A review of the literature concluded that, for the majority of people (at least as reviewed in the literature), monitoring your weight is a helpful strategy when it comes to weight loss or weight management goals. Here is my article for more details, which may prove beneficial for others interested in some "reality therapy" when it comes to weight management!
http://thetruthaboutfatlossforwomen.com/2009/01/01/weighing-in-onweighing-in/

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Lani,
Thanks for your comment. You are right and in fact the National Weight Control Registry, which has been tracking successful losers since 1994, says the same thing. To lose and keep weight off, you have to continue to monitor yourself.
Best Regards,
Irene

[Parducci]

The picture is a little small but, ok, I'll agree that you're kind of a chunk. That said, I wouldn't necessarily call you fat.

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Parducci,
I used to be heavy but have lost over 50 pounds and have kept that off for 18 years. This blog wasn't about me personally, although it was my experience in the past. I am hoping it helps others who are still struggling with this issue.
Thanks for Your Comment,
Irene

[gfk]

This is exactly how I got heavy. I stopped paying attention. The only way I was able to reverse it has been to start paying close attention. Thanks Irene.

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for your comment gfk, and you're welcome.