How Do You Know When To Stop Eating?

I asked my son, when he was about 6, how he knew when to stop eating. He said, "My tummy tells me, because, I can't actually see in there." I have raised him on as much healthy food as he will eat and let him have some sweets as well. I have allowed him to dictate when he is done with his meals and how much dessert he will have. He is eleven now and normal-weighted and in touch with his sense of hunger and satiety.

I grew up during a time when adults told you to eat all your food if you wanted dessert. All your food was often what was put on your plate by an adult. Not only were we being taught to disregard our body's full meters, but also that the reward for overeating was more high calorie yummy food. Not the best message to grow up with.

Our tummies may have been telling us to stop but our parents were telling us it was good to keep going. If you override your natural full meter often enough, it tends to go into a coma. It can take years of normal eating to revive it too. Not only does the full meter go to sleep, but you can get used to that overstuffed, almost drugged, feeling you get from overeating. It is amazing what the human body can get used to and then begin to crave.

If you have ever smoked cigarettes you understand this concept. That first inhalation should have been enough to stop all of us from taking the second. It hurt, it made us cough, we felt light-headed, even nauseas. It was truly disgusting. How that disgusting first drag could turn into a two pack a day habit is amazing to me.

When it comes to food and health, we know that we should only eat when we are hungry, and not too hungry. Eat only until we are 80% full, not too full. Make sure our diets consist mainly of fresh fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains. Get some exercise. The end.

If we could all do that, obesity would be a non-issue. We would all be at a healthy weight. We wouldn't all be skinny, as we do vary in our body types, but we certainly wouldn't be morbidly obese either. The problem for many of us is that we don't know when we are full until we are stuffed and/or we keep eating even though we know we are full. Couple that with the high fat, high calorie foods that many of us have become accustomed to eating and it's no wonder we have the obesity problem we have today.

So if you acknowledge that your full meter is broken, how do you know when to stop eating?

The answer to this question is that you don't. You need something outside yourself to help you with that, and that is where keeping food records and counting calories comes in. I know, you don't want to hear that, but it is the truth. Maybe one day there will be a pill, or magic, but until then, this is the best we've got. When you weigh 300 lbs., and have gotten used to eating 3,000 calories a day, you will be hungry on 2,500 calories a day. Even though 2,500 calories is a binge day for most women, you will be hungry on that because of what you are used to. It is best to lower your calories slowly so as not to experience too big of a backlash.

Keeping food records and counting calories will also keep you awake to what you are putting in your mouth and how much. Many of us are asleep at the wheel when it comes to what and how much we are eating. If you want to change your weight, you have to pay attention.

So, once your full meter is broken, can it ever be repaired?

The good news is that yes it can, but it might take a very, very long time I was heavy for years and lost a significant amount of weight 18 years ago, and have kept it off since. After 16 years of maintaining my weight loss, I noticed that my full meter had been restored. I now know when I am 80% full and am happy to stop eating then because that means I get to eat more soon. If I do overeat now and get too full, I hate it. I can't stand the feeling and can't wait until it passes. This motivates me not to do it again. It's almost like if you don't smoke for years and years and then take a drag, it feels like the first drag all over again. (I don't recommend trying that by the way.)

If you want to lose weight, repair your full meter, or just get more in touch with your hunger and satiety, try writing down what you are eating for a week. You will be amazed at what you learn about yourself. During the weight loss phase, I recommend keeping food records the entire time you are losing and then for enough time following the weight loss to be able to maintain it without the records. It works!

That's it for now. Good luck and let me know how you're doing.

If you would like to participate in the research for Irene's new book about weight loss, go to http://www.eatingdisordertherapist.com/.

Comments

[CEM]

2500 calories a binge day? Seriously? An active woman SHOULD be eating 2500 calories/day. I agree with most of what you said, but I think you're a little off base with the calorie counts.

[paragrafH]

I think you are ALL missing the point -- and the fault line -- in this argument: that, once lost, our innate sensitivity to our bodies is apparently so lost, we might as well give up and count calories!

May I direct your attention to another Huffpo Living article further down the page. Here's the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ariane-de-bonvoisin/the-spiritualitychange-co_b_102002.html

The article is titled: The Spirituality / Change Connection. Here's an excerpt that should give hope to everyone demoralized by the above article...

"What do I mean when I say spirituality? I mean reconnecting with that part of ourselves that doesn't change, that is calm, centered, grounded, when everything around us seems to be changing. I mean going inside, listening to our intuition, turning our inner microphone on, finding our own inner wisdom. Remember who you are. You are much stronger, more powerful, more intuitive and more resilient that you have ever been told. You are better at change than you think. There is a part of inside of you that will always help you get through any change, even the most difficult change you can imagine."

And once you DO find your inner center, you WILL be able to be sensitivity to your body's true needs. Counting calories will assist this primary (and only truly permanent) road to bodily health.

[situationcritical]

What's missing here is that foods in this country to injected full of preservatives. God knows what else besides fatten your body up that those things do. When I lived in Europe I could go to the equivalent of an AM/PM Mini-mart (a Tankstelle) and buy a frozen pizza that would be the equivalent of a gourmet pizza here because the government regulations on food additives were extremely strict. Soft drinks in America use high fructose corn syrup instead of sugar, and so do a lot of other products. That's why the nation is fat. It's the synthetic food additives that leave the body hungering for nutrition after the food is eaten. But you can still eat smart, and eat what you desire in a timely fashion to lose weight or maintain an optimum weight. I am 49, 6 feet 1/2 in, 175 lbs, muscluar and have about 7% bodyfat. It took me years to listen to what my body was telling me, but once I started to, I learned to eat properly and increased my exercise. And you can eat food that's not so nutritionally great as long as you do it sparingly.

[Skye]

You're right, it can take a while to fix the meter but it will happen with a little bit of effort. And the biggest reward besides the weight loss is not going around with that full and bloated feeling after eating..

[dadw5boys]

I bought one of those scales the hang on the wall with the ring that will hold a plate of food.

I weight out 14 oz per meal and that is it.

If my kids want 2nds they have to walk to our fish pond and back.
It is about 1/2 mile walk there and back.
Needless to say I don't serve a lot of 2nd helpings.

They can have all they want to drink.

[krisgarfield]

You're an AWESOME and responsible father. I'm a mom with boys and also teach them to hold off on seconds. Good for you and what lucky boys ! To have a dad who teaches them healthy habits is doing a great service not only for them, but their kids..They will be so grateful to you for caring and teaching such valuable lessons .
There is nothing wrong with being a hardass food counselor.­..too many parents enable their kids to pig out in this great, yet ever expanding nation of ours. What ever happened to self control? I applaud you!

[rini]

Unfortunately, when someone is significantly overweight, even slight weight loss triggers the body's starvation physiology. Intense hunger, low energy and calorie conservation ensue. The body tries to hold onto fat, even after a drop from 300 to 290 lbs.

Slow change in lifestyle with increased activity can circumvent this problem but might take years for results. A gastric bypass actually reduces hungers and changes body physiology. Often this is the only choice for someone who is morbidly obese.

Psychological factors play a role. However, once you have overeaten for years, the physical problems are real. I think that, for many, obesity is a result of normal healthy appetite and survival instincts coupled with a surplus of high calorie food that is marketed everywhere. You cannot go to the pharmacy for diabetes medication without seeing candy bars at the counter. I think this affects everyone.

[cktirumalai]

One of my incentives for eating sensibly is that when I do I really enjoy what I eat. Meals become a pleasure wihthout the need for unwholesome "treats".

[krisgarfield]

America! Please wake up and smell the fat burning. Not bacon in the pan. I'm tired of hearing "Gee, it's in my genes" or "When I'm happy, sad, mad, asleep. I just can't help it". I do think there are those with legitimate issues. I'm not unsympathetic. Perhaps .00001% of the US population suffers from this. Most obese folks shouldn't be excused. Off those tushies, move more, eat less crap and get into therapy regarding those pesky emotional triggers! I blog from experience. I birthed twin boys 10 years ago. I was 5'8 and 137lbs. I ballooned up to a whopping 210 lbs. Depressing. Bed rest and high caloric intake did it. I lost it after HARD work. I love food, hate exersize and genetics wise, I'm of German stock. I could of used the pregnancy and all the above as an excuse. I was determined to look and feel like a hottie again. I was recently at Disneyland Anaheim. "Small World" was under renovation. The reason? All the boats are being replaced by larger vessels. Americans are so huge that the older boats (still in great condition) are getting stuck because their riders are so heavy. I'm not laughing. It's pathetic that we've become a nation of folks who won't take responsibility for themselves by constantly pointing fingers at genetics, fashion, the food industry. Just say " No more please. I'm full." You'll be fulfilled with the way you look and feel as a result of hard work.

[rini]

I am not overweight, but I have many patients who are. I have some empathy for them, because it is extremely difficult, if not IMPOSSIBLE for them to maintain an ideal weight for life.

How do I know this? Not only do I talk to them. Not only do I understand some physiology and endocrinology, but I know that the evidence speaks for itself.

There are overweight people who have starved themselves for months, gone through surgery and even committed suicide because of their obesity. You cannot tell me that they just don't care enough.

Here is an analogy I find apt....

Have you ever tried holding your breath? What happens. You eventually develop an overwhelming desire to breath that overtakes everything else and end up gasping. An overweight person's body thinks it is starving itself whenever they try to lose weight by force. Over weeks the desire to overeat becomes a sensation of life and death. They end up "gasping" and gaining the weight back. Of course, it is just my theory. However, it fits with all the evidence. Most people gain the weight they lost dieting back.. and more.

Don't judge people when you haven't lead their lives.

[krisgarfield]

This is why therapy is the first step. Inside TO the outside. Starving and Surgery is not what is not what I meant by HARD work. That's just an unhealthy short cut. I have seen up close and personally people starving in North Africa. Not a pretty sight. People in Europe eat half the amount of the typical American portion. So am I to assume that those malnourished folks can blame their "physiology and endocrinology" as the cause of their emaciated bodies?
How about that they don't get enough to eat and your obese clients eat too much. Simple. Stop denying it. Maybe they ought to see these poor people for themselves and they'll quit their self absorption! The US has been a nation of rich spoiled brats for a long time now. Everything is"Gimme More". It's a sick attitude towards food. I believe that is the basis of Ms. Kellers post. I'm afraid you didn't understand it. As far as your breathing analogy.."­eating as a sensation of life and death"? Waaay too dramatic. How about the old saying.."E­at to live..not live to eat". Stop enabling!

[gfk]

I used to eat until I passed out. I was very overweight as well. I could never leave food on my plate. I was on the see food diet. You know, "if you see food, you eat it." I am much better not but I still don't know when I'm full. How long does it take?

[RhondaSTL]

That's great for people who are maybe 10 or 15 pounds overweight because they really like their morning donuts or an extra serving of their favorite food. However many people are significantly overweight because of emotional or chemical triggers, compulsively eating past the point of any real enjoyment and into physical discomfort. It's not that they've lost touch with their "meter". I've tried to explain that to people before, but I guess if you haven't experienced it you just don't get it. Most people understand intellectually how to lose weight, we've all repeatedly heard the common sense message of limiting your calories and exercising.

It's not always laziness and just really liking food that causes obesity. Some people have compulsions with alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, etc. And then some people have compulsions with food.

Your message is helpful for some people. But I hope that you and others realize sometimes obesity is complicated issue. It's not easy to listen to your body or your common sense when the roar of something stronger is drowning them out.

[beasy]

Thank you for your comment. Please refer to my previous blogs on weight loss for lots of information on the psychological aspects of weight control. You are right, it is an extremely complicated issue with many facets. This blog is only about one small piece of it.
Best,
Irene

[RhondaSTL]

Thanks - I will check out your previous blogs.

[bmora]

I was a competitive swimmer growing up and on through college. I had to stuff myself beyond the point of being satiated because I knew I would run out of gas before the end of practice. Eating is not the problem. It is lack of exercise. I must have consumed over 5,000 calories a day to keep up with 2 workouts (lasting at least 2 hours each) a day and an hour of weights every other day and I had very little body fat. All of our family, save one, is well within their respective ideal weight range.
So, I don’t buy your premise.

[franehrman]

His meter was working ...with that much exercise he needed lots of food. When he stopped exercising his good meter stopped telling him to eat so much. We should all have such good meters. Maybe they do run in families.