It's easy to get caught up in gossip. A friend or colleague starts talking about someone you both know. She lays out some juicy information you haven't heard before, almost baiting you to chime in. Whether it's true or not, you reflexively up the ante by spilling a rumor you...

I've never met Sophia Dembling in person but consider her a friend of sorts. We met as members of one or another online writer communities that we both frequent because we have so many overlapping interests. She lives in Texas but her roots are pure New York. I love...

It's not unusual for platonic relationships to turn into something different or something more. Whenever this happens, regardless of gender, it can lead to misunderstandings if both people aren't on the same page. When two female friends are involved, the potential awkwardness is compounded exponentially because the experience is less...

When I surveyed more than 1500 women for my new book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, I discovered that most of them have an extraordinarily difficult time ending their friendships, even very toxic ones. It's not surprising. Like divorce, the potential losses can be...

QUESTION

Dear Irene,

I recently spoke with a good friend of almost 20 years with whom I went to high school. Essentially, she wants to get married and have kids. Recently, she met a guy who is twice divorced with two children. That's a lot of baggage--even my friend will...

QUESTION

Dear Irene,

Five years ago, my girlfriend stopped communicating with me. I found out later on from my sister that my friend's husband was diagnosed with stomach cancer and I wasn't there for her.

The only reason I wasn't there was I did...

Things just aren't the way they used to be between you and your BFF. Either you're bickering, bored or uptight when you're together. While you used to be attached at the hip, there's suddenly a wedge between you. What's a girl to do?

1) Assess what's going on between you

The launch of a new book signals the culmination of an intense period of work--one punctuated by the deadlines, disappointments, delays, and other landmines that are all too common along the road to publication. For an author, a book's publication also marks the end of the long period of solitude...

After a tiff with your BFF, it's natural to get upset and ask yourself (or a third person), "What's wrong with her?" That's because it's much easier us to recognize blemishes or faults in our friends than it is to look in the mirror.

But if you're finding that...

Unless you're an alumnus of Kappa Delta Sorority (unlikely) or a friend of mine (less likely), you probably don't know that Sunday, September 20, 2009, the third Sunday in September, is National Women's Friendship Day. Until I began writing a book about female friendship, I didn't realize it...

Nine years ago, novelist Adele Parks was dumped by her best friend of 20 years. In a recent essay published in the UK Daily Mail, Adele admits she still hasn't gotten over it completely. Whether you're 7 or 70, it's always painful to lose a best friend.

"Friendship...

Some people call it chemistry. Others use the term first impressions. But scores of women have told me that they can sense immediately whether or not they are going to "click" with another woman. It's much like the romantic notion of "love at first sight." This, too, is the basic...

How much neediness should one friend tolerate?

QUESTION

Hi Irene,

Hopefully, you can help me with my predicament. Over the past six months I've been "friends" with a 25-year-old girl. I'm a 37-year-old woman. Yeah, you know where I'm going with this! She is where I USED to be: bingeing,...

Once I started reading Joanne Rendell's new novel, Crossing Washington Square, I had a hard time putting it down. This gripping book tells the story of two strong women, both of them faculty in the English Literature Department of Manhattan U. The story takes the protagonists -- polar opposites...

QUESTION

Dear Irene:

About 8 months ago, I had my heart broken by my best friend of three years. Liz and a guy I had been dating for a short time slept together after they had been drinking excessively. Liz and the guy, Dave, had been friends since high school...

QUESTION

Dear Irene,

I'm in several professional organizations with a woman who is a very good person but drives me a little bonkers. She has asked me to meet her for dinner several times, but I have always begged off. This week, she caught me at a weak moment and...

QUESTION

Dear Irene,

I've been a friend with someone for over two decades. She's intelligent, a good person and very honest, but since her first marriage fell apart and she remarried, all she does is complain about her current spouse. I tried asking her what she's going to do about...

Some of us are hoarders and some of us are tossers. Many of us do the same thing with our friends. Yesterday, I received a Twitter message that put the idea in bold relief. It explained the problem in less than 140-characters: Bad friends prevent you from having good friends...

QUESTION

Dear Irene,

My daughter, Amy, is 16 years old. She is a very sweet girl, a good student, and has a variety of interests like playing the flute, singing in the chorus, writing for the student paper and acting in school plays. She also has a part-time job at...

QUESTION

Dear Irene,

My friend and I have known each other since high school. We went to college together and I was in her wedding. We both were in the same phases of life at the same time (engaged, newly married, etc.). I enjoyed having someone to talk to about...