The disparity of giving and receiving is often the cause of conflict in a relationship. There is almost always one who gives, gives, gives, and then is disappointed when nothing comes in return, and another who takes, takes, takes, but cannot truly appreciate what they are receiving. Resentment ensues, and what began as a passionate and committed relationship grinds to an abrupt and unexpected halt. In some cases, years are spent bearing this resentment, both parties accumulating an exhaustive list of reproaches as thick as a phonebook.
Those who give while expecting something in return give with condition. Ultimately, they feel like they don't deserve -- an old, forgotten feeling, still lying there deep down, covered in resentment and demanding retribution.
This is also valid for the other half of the equation: those who don't have the capacity to give only to take from another. For them, nothing is ever enough, they are never satisfied; they take, but they cannot receive.
In both cases love must be found within, and when it is discovered, the fear of giving dissolves. With it goes the fear of receiving. Then, a new cycle is formed, one that starts with giving, always giving, unconditionally. As a consequence, you begin to truly receive: everything comes to you, flowing in an eternal circle of unbounded, unconditional love, which knows only to share and to flow.
If you focus on giving unconditionally, from the endless source of love that lies within, you will find that your internal experience does not diminish or run out. From this pure, clean form of giving, a giving that comes from healing, not entangled in a past still kicking and screaming for the injustices it has faced, but from a full, joyful present, we realize that in giving we are not losing, that in realty, when we give from a place of joy, we are giving to ourselves.
If you continue to focus on this internal experience of loving awareness, with time it will become permanent. Once it has stabilized, that connection can never be lost: once it has been achieved, that consciousness will always be there. It does not diminish or dissipate: it will always be growing, moving towards the next level, the next stage of permanent expansion.
Consciousness is not difficult to cultivate. Consciousness is who you truly are, so the more you focus on it, the more your vibration is elevated, and the cleansing of that which is not real happens faster, so the experience grows exponentially. You just need to keep choosing for it, and in doing so you will become the person you always wanted to be.
We are what we choose; I invite you to choose love.
Isha Judd is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and author; her latest book and movie, "Why Walk When You Can Fly?" explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness. Learn more at www.whywalkwhenyoucanfly.com.
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