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How to Overcome Insecurity

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The modern world is an uncertain place. Sliding stock markets and new technologies transform society at a dizzying pace, and no one can say what tomorrow will bring. Of course, this has always been true: the future has always been marked by uncertainty; such is the mystery of life. But maybe now this truth is becoming more evident; no matter where we live in the world, the illusion of material stability holds little promise of securing our future.

How can we overcome the feeling of insecurity in an uncertain world? How can we find true stability in the shifting sands of modern times? The truth is, security can be found only where it has always been found: true security can only be found within.

Within each of us lies absolute stability. Within the experience that I call love-consciousness, no lack, no fear can be sustained. Love-consciousness is the experience of pure being, of our true nature. It is not a mystical or esoteric experience; in fact, it is the most concrete experience in the universe. But in order to reach this experience, we must learn to embrace our fears and doubts; we must learn to embrace every aspect of ourselves if we want to find completion.

If there is a part of yourself that you reject, your love of self is conditional. Unconditional love denies nothing; it embraces everything, seeing through the actions of fear and making new choices, but with love, not judgment. If you wish to be free of insecurity, you must first embrace it.

If you reject your feelings of insecurity, they will come back to haunt you. If you ignore a child, he will linger, begging to be loved; if you ignore a part of yourself, it will remain in the back of your mind, like a lie that you can hide but never forget.

Confronting the parts of yourself that you judge is scary: in doing so, you are admitting that the mask you have presented to society is a lie. You are dropping the crutches you have used to feel strong, and there will be a moment when you doubt your ability to walk alone. But if you want to be free of insecurity, this is a process you will have to face.

Before I began my journey of self-discovery, I couldn't tolerate my own insecurity; I couldn't stand feeling shy or intimidated. I had an idea of who I should be, and I used to hide my fragility behind alcohol, a facade that gave me a confident and outgoing appearance. But behind that facade, I had to live with the truth. To some extent, we all do this: we all have an idea of how we should present ourselves to others. But as long as we depend on the shifting opinions of a changeable world, we will live in fear, a fear that can only be overcome by shedding our protective shells, shells that were built to protect us but have now become our prisons.

This process of self-acceptance is an act of love. It is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. Be gentle when you do it: don't punish yourself for feeling insecure, or for what you perceive as your shortcomings. If a child is afraid, do you punish them? No, you love them, you talk to them, you console them. Yet with ourselves, we are violent and unforgiving; we don't tolerate our mistakes. In order to find internal security, we must learn to trust ourselves.

We need to learn to accept every aspect, not from a place of resignation or feeling like we've failed, but from a place of learning to love the child within and seeing beyond the aspects that no longer serve us.

When you become aware of an aspect of yourself that you have learned to hide, move towards it. Don't continue covering it behind more layers of personality. The quicker you recognize and embrace these aspects, the quicker you will be free of them. When you embrace fear, the illusion it has created falls, and then what is left? Love. Like clouds across the sun, when they pass, the light shines through. Confront your fears with love, don't reject them or avoid them; if you do, the clouds across the sun will soon become a tsunami.

Our insecurities become most evident when things don't go how we want them to; when this anxiety appears, your need for control becomes more obvious. This need to control the people and things around us is a reflection of inner insecurity: love trusts and flows, fear controls and resists. When you feel the need to control, go deeper, and beneath the thoughts of worry you will find something greater.

When you experience inner transformation and become love-conscious, when unconditional love of self becomes a force that overflows from within in abundance, then everything flows towards you and then out toward everyone. It becomes a magnetic, powerful force that attracts everything towards you, and your creations will exceed your expectations. You will see that in reality nothing was ever missing, that everything is here and now, because when you feel complete within yourself, everything comes to you. When you are anchored in that space, you become the love.

Choose love and it will come to you. Instead of focusing on what is missing, focus on giving -- giving without limit.

We have been trained to think that everything is limited, and this thought brings us anxiety and insecurity, but now, focus on the love, and experience the unlimited abundance of creation. I invite you to create this experience within yourself; to discover the profound, permanent fulfillment that lies within your heart.

Isha Judd is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and author; her latest book and movie, "Why Walk When You Can Fly?" explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness. Learn more at

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