A relationship based in mutual growth is a wonderful adventure of discovery.
To cultivate a deeper sense of self, to develop the values of integrity, honesty and transparency; to uncover the life force that beats within each of us and inspires us to be the best we can be as human beings; to realize our highest aspirations and to spark change for the common good -- these are the fruits of a relationship based in growth.
Often we take for granted the time we spend with our families, our partners, our friends. Lost in the monotony of routine, we miss out on opportunities to love, to share, to celebrate life together. When we feel dissatisfied with life, we inevitably look to our partners, children or others to provide us with the affection and happiness we feel is missing. Yet if we are demanding love from another, the relationship will inevitably suffer, patience will soon run out and the joy of the relationship will be lost amongst reproaches and complaints, eclipsing the appreciation and gratitude that nurtures and causes growth.
Within a relationship, there is nothing more wonderful than two individuals taking responsibility for loving themselves, pushing each other into their greatness, supporting each other to be the best of themselves, to develop their potential and embrace full human consciousness.
Unfortunately, often in relationships we play small, stuck in insecurity and sheltering ourselves within the role of co-dependency. This habit must be broken, for it is not love, and playing small so as not to rock the boat doesn't serve: It will never bring the happiness or the love we seek.
Even if you are not in a relationship, there are surely people around you whose words trigger emotions -- reactions that sometimes feel like Pandora's box being opened. These are the people you need to listen to most: They are the ones who are touching on the feelings you need to release. These repressed emotions are what prevents you from discovering the simple joy of being, that keep you trapped in self-judgement and dissatisfaction. Don't analyze what comes up: just focus on loving that place, on recognizing and embracing the unknown, opening up to be transformed before your eyes. Without fighting, without saying no, with a yes from your intellect to your heart, receiving what emerges from within with open arms.
If we can do this with ourselves, then it will not be hard to give that same love to others, to share, to listen, to support. And in a world where the list of those in need grows constantly, what better way to contribute than to be the best of ourselves, to heal ourselves and see how, when we have emptied ourselves of the old, of that which held us back and kept us small, our full potential is unleashed from within. This will be reflected all around you: You will see it in your actions, your relationships, your creativity.
Internal transformation has a positive effect on everyone around you, at home and in your family, in your neighborhood, in your town. And what is the result of many people triggering this inner transformation at once? Truly loving relationships, sensitive and open hearts that are not afraid of losing something, for they are complete within themselves and know only to give. It will not be long before we create the world we have dreamed of living in, with the intellect at the service of the heart, instead of limited personal agendas focused on lack and external satisfaction.
But the first step is inward, toward yourself, opening to feel, responding with sensitivity, honesty and truth, without judgment. Give it a try. Then tell me what happens!
Isha Judd will be touring the US and Canada in May for the launch of her new book, Love Has Wings. Learn more at www.ishajudd.com
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