It's almost Mother's Day, the day of the year when moms are celebrated for all of their hard work and sacrifice. And everyone is always saying how motherhood is just the hardest thing ever. But is it really? I mean, think about it... if it were so hard, wouldn't women just stop having babies? Yet, there's still all this chit chat about over-population, so we're obviously still popping out the progeny. I'm calling bluff. If people are still making babies, it can't really be that hard. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say motherhood is downright easy!
Here are 10 Reasons why motherhood is actually the easiest thing ever:
1. You mess something up? Oh, no biggie. You get a free pass. "Oops! I forgot to turn the oven on and now we're having E.coli chicken for dinner. *chuckle chuckle* Mommy brain!"
2. If you're a breastfeeding mom, for six months straight you get to effortlessly feed your baby without having to actually make a single meal. I mean, you don't even have to open a fridge door. Actually, you don't even have to get out of bed. That's right, you can feed your baby LAYING DOWN.
3. During pregnancy, people fawn over you. "Oh don't lift that box... it's too heavy!" and "Here, why don't you just put your feet up?" Some stores will even give you a special parking spot close to the entrance! It's basically nine months of pampering and relaxation.
4. Forget heels and pencil skirts, sweats and tank tops are a completely appropriate uniform. In fact, the occasional pajama day is acceptable, too.
5. Personal hygiene standards are way lax. It's par for the course to have bags under your eyes, crumbs in your hair and spit up down the front of your shirt. You can totally get away with looking frumpy.
6. And the house? Well you have kids now... people expect you to have sticky surfaces and a living room full of toys. The pressure is off! Messy is the new normal, so your obligation to clean is drastically reduced.
7. If you're caught sleeping at work, there's a good chance your boss will send you home with a pink slip. As a mom, however, the occasional mid-day nap is not only fine, but even encouraged. "Sleep when the baby sleeps!" they say... what other job allows you that liberty?
8. You have so much free time. Everyone knows that all babies do is sleep! So after you've taken your coordinated naps (see # 7) you have the remainder of your baby's sleep time to pursue your own interests or just relax! (And remember, no one actually expects you to have a clean house anyway.)
9. Beyond nap time and leisure pursuits, the majority of your daily responsibilities include playing, coloring, going for walks and visits to the park. Tough schedule, huh?
10. And obviously, because being a mom is so easy, you have another baby. Then things get even easier! People line up to bring you meals, help out with laundry and watch the kids so you can take a nap (again with the napping!) It's pretty much a vacation.
Basically, as a mom, your day-to-day involves comfy clothes, resting and playing with your (well-behaved, of course) kiddos. No wonder people keep having children... easiest job EVER!
So happy Mother's Day... relax (oh wait, you already were), eat your breakfast in bed (yet another career perk) and raise your mimosas... let's toast to having landed the best gig around!