In these troubled economic times, when everywhere you look there's more and more evidence of how bad it is "out there," we have to remember that how successful you are and how peaceful or distressed you are is a result of what you focus your attention on. Remember that fear is self-created by focusing on something in the future that hasn't happened yet.
A student in a recent seminar had been living in fear for the last year that he would lose his house. His family is still in that house. Every single minute of fear that they were experiencing was self-created by imagining being thrown out of their home. The truth of the moment is they were safely in their home. Stop imaging the worst and focus on your own personal present reality. Even if you are unemployed, you are still alive, still living somewhere. Focus on what you do have, and be grateful for it, rather than on some future negative scenario that has not happened yet. A wonderful acronym for fear is Fantasized (future) Experiences Appearing Real. Turn off CNN (Constantly Negative News) and turn on your own inner movie of that which you want to create in your life. Live from your vision, not some externally created "reality" piped into your brain by the media. Look for the positive in your life and celebrate it.
Here are 5 more things to keep in mind that will help you keep your emotional wellbeing in check no matter what's going on:
1. Keep Dreaming Big. Don't let your inner critic inhibit you from dreaming big. As soon as you commit to a big dream, visualize it daily, and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. It will also help you to problem solve your way through challenges and create positive outcomes beyond your temporary struggles. As you continue to dream big, you'll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to weather any storms and make your dreams come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also help you to get through tough times and put certain things into perspective. And remember this, it doesn't take any more time or effort to dream a big dream than a small dream. So if you are going to dream anyway, dream big.
2. Believe in Yourself. If you are going to be successful in maintaining your emotional health and creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Make the decision to believe that you create all your experiences--both your successes and your failures.
3. Stop Complaining. As you commit to believing in yourself, also make a commitment to toning down the blame and complaint department. Look at who you are blaming and what you are complaining about. I'm fat. I'm tired. I can't get out of debt. I won't ever get another job (or a better job). I can't stand the relationship I have with my father. I'll never find a soulmate in life. The economy is to blame. My spouse is the cause of my unhappiness. My boss is ruining my life. Really examine your blaming and your complaining. More than likely, you can do something about them. They are not about other people, other things, or other events. They are about YOU. Decide what you want, and create a plan to get it.
4. Turn Paranoia on Its Head. Imagine how much easier it would be to succeed in life if you were constantly expecting the world to support you and bring you opportunity. Successful people do just that. Don't assume the world is a brutish, unwelcoming, and a difficult place to be. Try thinking the opposite! And turn paranoia inside out.
5. Use Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence. One of the most powerful tools for building worthiness and self-confidence is the repetition of positive statements until they become a natural part of the way you think. Create a list of 10 to 20 statements that affirm your belief in your worthiness and your ability to create the life of your dreams. Here are some examples of affirmations that have worked for others in the past:
No matter how well you plan and how well you execute your plan, you are bound to meet with disappointments, adversity and failure along the way to your ultimate triumph. Adversity is what gives you the opportunity to develop your inner resources of character and courage. Adversity is a great teacher. It will test you and make you stronger, but you have to hang in there and not give up!
More than 4,000 years ago in China, Confucius wrote: "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
© 2009 Jack Canfield
Jack Canfield is America's #1 Success Coach, co-founder of the billion-dollar Chicken Soup for the Soul brand, and a leading authority on Peak Performance. If you're ready to be more accomplished and have more fun in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessPrinciples.com.
1. Stop shopping. Stop jumping on the hamster wheel of consumer desire. Stop accumulating stuff you don’t need, especially so-called cheap stuff that is anything but. You may find time to dream real dreams, not dreams about the stuff you could own. This is a less expensive way to live too.
2. Do something for someone else. Who’s happy? The people who don’t spend every waking minute dwelling on themselves. Just smiling and making real eye contact with every being you encounter in the course of your day will bring more satisfaction and love into your life than meditating on either your possible success or your past failures.
3. Practice gratitude. You’re here, alive, breathing, learning.
4. Get politically active. Edward Abbey said, “Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul.” Empower yourself, show up on behalf of something you care about, even two minutes twice a week to sign an email petition (I must warn you, this can lead to more involved, and invigorating activities). Take yourself, the needs of this country and of our planet seriously. Stop being victimized.
5. Go for a walk. Yes, outside. Move your body, wake up your senses, stimulate your imagination, open your heart, and relax all at the same time. Despite all of our troubles, it’s a beautiful world.
Stuart Smiley.
OK. seriously, affirmations only worked if they are based in truth. Root cause for issues still need to be addressed.
So I'm going to quit worry about falling off the ladder, and clean the gutters.
Tomorrow.
Fear, the actual emotion, is not self-created. Here the appropriate word is "anxiety". Fear is our visceral response to physical danger. It provides motivation for safety and survival. Anxiety, on the other hand, is a product of thought and creates the same body response as fear. It is a result of anticipation and/or memory and is not reality based. It is always based in the past.
One cannot use thought to heal emotional wounds. One must access the original wounds and work through them...emotionally. Affirmations can only succeed where there is the emotional experience to tell us that what they are saying is true. No emotional/actual experience of the truth of the affirmation, no beneficial effect. ...just empty words.
We have to get beyond the duality of positive/negative thinking and begin to operate from our higher consciousness. Not in some airy, ephemeral manner, but in a concrete way. That is when we will be able to maintain or regain our emotional health...through embracing opposites. We cannot think our way into health.
Misspelling police: it's "Its head". No apostrophe. The head of Paranoia.
I used to believe in Karma -- that good things would come to me 'because of' good things I do for others. From my experience, I don't believe in this any more, but I still believe in the goodness of other people. I think some of the difficulties that hit us in bad times can be mitigated by our contributions to the community and what we do to help others. Not always, but maybe just enough so that we don't feel alone in our suffering.
accountability partner. I find that helps considerably
to be listened to and lifted on a regular basis. It's made a huge
difference in my life and the hundreds I serve.
While I love you all and wish nothing but the best for each of you -- parts of this article are just crap. Your positive outlook while appreciated, will not change reality. Life is hard sometimes and bad things happen to good people. It is all a roll of the cosmic dice. Having a positive outlook and believing in yourself will only take you so far. Much of this article is just new age feel good happy talk.
More to the point -- life -- is adversity. You will be challenged. Buckle up. Wear a helmet. Not every story has a happy ending. Work hard and stay creative, but also understand that you can do everything right, play a perfect game and still lose. It just happens, and often other undeserving people will succeed. You might even have the right to complain about it. It's just that nobody wants to hear it. We each all have our own stuff to deal with. Life is not necessarily about the here and now. Regardless of your faith, there just might be greater forces at work.
Karma is a motherf$%#er
My advice...
Deal with adversity -- don’t just smile at it.
MR
P.S .-- I support the public option.
When we are faced with adversity, we can approach it negatively and suffer more; or we can approach it positively and reach new heights.
This reads like a bumper sticker and not necessarily 100% accurate. We are not always responsible for where we find ourselves in life. Life is not always in our control. Nor is it supposed to be. Thinking that we can control every aspect of life maybe a completely understandable fantasy but it is setting ourselves up for utter disaster, IMO.
And even thinking that we can or should control our own reactions to events is - disingenuous. Life is a moving, changing, volatile ride. Events, emotions are all here to teach us.
Sometimes we are knocked down. Life isn't always fair. And yes, it is our responsibility to get back up but not all of us have the same tools. Some people live a life filled with handicaps, whether they be physical or emotional. Or both.
A compassionate understanding is also our responsibility. Maybe that is the blessing that these rough economic waters will finally teach us Americans, who once considered ourselves to be so privileged. Maybe we will finally see that we are all on the same boat. Living on the same ocean. Perhaps we will learn that our true responsibility is not just to ourselves but to each other.