02/22/2011 11:03 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Hugo Chavez Sets up Dictators Resort, Welcomes Mubarak

Hugo Chavez, the strongman of Venezuela, has opened a plush resort for ex-dictators in the wake of sweeping liberation movements across many repressed nations.

Mubarak is reported to have arrived last night at Casa Hugo and other toppled leaders have made reservations to join shortly.

The resort has all the amenities of a 5-star property including Canyon Ranch spa and wellness center. The resort also offers psychological services to help the former rulers cope with their diminished circumstances.

Dr. Rafael Grendel, head of the psych unit, said "these leaders need help adjusting to a new life. Through intense counseling we can restore them to balance without having them turn to the torture and repression which were their typical outlets of venting frustration."

Every guest apparently gets a monogrammed squezee ball upon check-in to start working on healthier ways of dealing with stress.

The new resort is reported to be on the island of Los Roques and have its own helipad for discreet travel to and from the airport and yachts.

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