"Another 'Why Did They Make It?' Movie"
The new Josh Brolin/Megan Fox movie Jonah Hex is one of those "why did they make this?" kind of movies. It isn't action packed. It isn't a romance. It isn't a comedy. It's just a big old nothing that will probably appeal to no one. It is hard to believe this idea for a film even looked good on paper.
The hero of the piece is Jonah Hex (Brolin), a Confederate officer who fell on hard times after he killed Jeb Turnbull (Jeffery Dean Morgan), the son of Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich). Quentin Turnbull got his revenge by killing Hex's wife and son and then branding Hex with his initials "QT." At the time of this beating and branding Hex somehow got the power to speak to the dead. Go figure.
Later crazy old Quentin decides to use an invention by Eli Whitney (yes that Eli Whitney) to blow up Washington, DC. It is up to Hex and his heart of gold friend Lilah (Fox) to stop him. None of this is very interesting and worse yet none of this is very exciting.
The first error of the filmmakers is they give you a hero who is so badly scarred in the face it is difficult to look at him. Secondly most of the movie takes place at night and it is difficult to discern who is doing what to whom. Thirdly Malkovich has played these nutty villains so many times he is becoming a cliché.
Brolin has to speak through his scarred mouth and that makes his words sort of mumbly. You never get a clear picture of who or what his character is, or what his relationship with Lilah is. Lilah is also a mystery. Fox is a beautiful woman but that is all she brings to the role. She doesn't try to develop a character and the script doesn't help her out.
The film is rated PG-13 for violence and profanity.
The combination of Josh Brolin and Megan Fox should make for some fireworks at the box office but this movie manages to tamp down any excitement these two could engender. There are no sparks there and no excitement. Fox is in too few scenes and Malkovich is in too many.
If you are looking for a movie with a plot you can follow, along with some dynamic characters and some rip-roaring action -- then this is the wrong movie for you. It has none of the above. The only feeling it will leave you with is -- why did they make this movie?
I scored "Jonah Hex" a voodooed 3 out of 10.