Did You Hear the One About the Warheads That Got Away?

Six nuclear warheads walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve WMDs here."

The main warhead replies Dylanesque, "Oh, you'll serve us, pal, or we'll blow this place to kingdom come and let Con Edison take the blame."

The bartender, shaken and stirred, promptly moves to Canada.

This is where we've arrived: President Bush insists the "war on terror" involves parking the U.S. military squarely in the middle of Arabia for year after year. We're up to five now if my math is right, and just two months ago General Petraeus compared the latest surge effort to Britain's experience in Northern Ireland, saying that similar counterinsurgency operations "have gone at least nine or ten years."

I don't know a soul -- of any persuasion -- who bought into the concept of a 15 year Middle East war/occupation as a response to the acts of al Qaeda, do you? Besides, the Emerald Isle was under British control for eight long centuries, and the distance between Belfast and England's coast at Whitehaven is only 82 nautical miles. What possible relevance is that to America's current mess in the desert, six thousand miles away, on the other side of the planet?

Meanwhile, back home, non-mythical nuclear weapons of mass destruction (as opposed to Saddam Hussein's imaginary mushroom clouds) are accidentally carted over red state America from North Dakota to Louisiana without even the pilots knowing the cargo. As Kansan Bob Dole used to say, "Where's the outrage?"

Mistakes happen, yet try and imagine the hue and cry from Republican voters if the past seven years of across-the-board presidential incompetence had occurred under a Democrat, say, Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. It would be deafening.

Instead, elephant supporters are silent, while their leading contenders (Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson at the moment) proudly promise more of the same bedrock thinking.

That's the real joke, but nobody's laughing.

Comments

[cartach]

"I don't know a soul who bought into the concept of a 15 year American war in the Middle East". Where the hell have you been? Try to get yourself acquainted with the neo-con goals by reviewing the principles of PNAC [Project for a New American Century] on their website.And you bet you would hear a hue and cry from Republicans if the shoe was on the other foot.You and most Democrats are prime examples of what is wrong with the Democratic Party today,a basic ignorance of and an unwillingness to accept what is going on, and a just plain lack of guts to do something about it.The Democratic Party should be raising a hue and cry and their lack of action thus far is bordering on the criminal.

[1will]

Anybody remember during the Clinton years when Slick Willie left the military officer carrying the "Nuclear Football" standing on the curb as he drove off? I thought not. It happened though. The guy with the codes was left behind as the Clinton entourage drove off in search of fat sausage gobbling interns. Ok, I made the last bit up. I don't know where they went when they left the officer behind.

[dadw5boys]

The breif case and the codes are seperate. Clinton had the codes the case only held the computer.
Where so you get this stuff. The Nuclear Football is only one of the ways a President can launch missles. He can PHONE IT IN SILLY.

[FlowerGirl]

I only know about one. It is an empty warhead that has gotten away with murder.
Is that one of the ones you were worried about?

[Spookcatcher]

Its ridiculous for people to assert that the Bush Administration is incompetent. This has been a culmination of decades of insider operations to bring this country masterfully under Fascists Control. There are no nuclear transportation "accidents". This was obviously an Military Intelligence Command covert/ insider operation. It was designed to gain "how to" information. A trial run. 9/11 was committed under a similar trial emergency operation. There is still 16.5 months till there is supposed to be a New President sworn into office. But will there be a change in oprations within the government?

[dadw5boys]

With all t he laws in place for a military take over and marshal law I will be greatly relived when Bush walks away from the THRONE!

[KBAR]

http://www.didyouknow.cd/nuclear.htm
Did you know?
92 known cases of nuclear bombs lost at sea.

And Bush was not Prez when these happened. So, who was the 'incompant' boob(s) in charge? Look up the dates.

[dadw5boys]

ha ha ha, Makes me think of the Laptop computers "lost" when the insurance industry would pay an easy million to get the medical records of Military Veterans so they can limit their coverage because of existing illness.

[Eoin45]

"Try and imagine the hue and cry from Republicans if the past seven years of across-the-board incompetence had occurred under a Democratic president".
I've believed this since 2000. If, for the last seven years, everything had happened identically, down to the minutest detail, except that Bill Clinton had invaded Iraq and laid waste to the rule of law, the Right would do a 180 and would be screaming about the illegal war, the destruction of the constitution etc. Bet on it.

[alkamm]

Part of the benefit of trumpeting the phrase "after 9-11 everything has changed" is that each miserable failure can be blamed on lamentable but "necessary" departures from prior wisdom.
If the Republican party used to be against nation building, because of 9-11 it can now give it a go. A bad go, as it is.
If the party used to be for fiscal responsibility, because of 9-11 it can now spend money like drunken sailors.
If the party runs a war with overpaid crony capitalist corporation mercenaries hired with nobid contracts, it's different than giving a travel agency contract to a crony as Clinton did. It's a necessary evil.
If the party used to be for family values, because of 9-11 they need the votes of pedophile congressmen, closeted gay senators, and they'll keep their private sins private as long as no one asks and no one tells.
The Republicans have no shame because their entire rhetorical strategy is to blame the opposing party instead of taking responsibility for their own sins. They know one thing, and that thing is that only the rich deserve a voice in government, and anyone purporting to speak for the lower classes is simply their mirror opposite--losers who are pandering to a constituency for votes as they pander for money.
9-11 sharpened their focus, and their admitted plan to change the United States into a one-party system has shown itself to be the short-sighted nightmare that it is.
Businesses that do not take responsibility for their own errors routinely fail, but those latter day Republicans who claim to relay business principles to government do not believe their own rhetoric. All their criticism of Democratic leadership is proven hollow because they cannot recognize their own worse sins.
They commit their sins because they love America more than Democrats. It's just that simple. Minded.

[BenjitheWolfdog]

The Republican party has been telling us that the government is the problem since Reagan. Now the chickens have finally come home to roost. You can't constantly reject and refuse to adaquately resources to the goverment so it can perform its necessary role in protecting and helping its citizens in times of disaster and then expect it to be there when its needed.

[dadw5boys]

Regean wanted and all volunteer military so he could cut taxes now we have an exhausted military in a war with no end in sight.
The resources are not there because the taxes are cut so servely for the military to even buy body armour when it was needed.
No bid contracts with no accountability = transfer of wealth!
Soldiers are being feed into a profit machine like meat into a grinder.

[Sundialsvc4]

Hmmmm... so Nukes are "on the move," are they?

The cover-story is that "they're being decommissioned" blah-blah.

BUT: ... Nukes(!) ... are ... on ... the ... move ... ... ...

[dadw5boys]

There is no facility to de-comission NUKE war head in LA. Only an Ariforce base that is now a departation station for shipping stuff to IRAQ and to AIR CRAFT CARRIERS.

[indypete]

We were given a look at right-wing hue and cry several years ago when Slick Willie was getting his willie slicked. If a dem had shown a fraction of the incompetence and corruption of the current occupants of the WH, Ann Coulter would be giving a bllindfold and cigarette to the prez and the whole thing woould be a live news event on Fox.

[seawolf77]

Last night I heard Sean Hannity say he never called Rosie O'Donnel a big fat pig. They'll deny anything. They'll say we cut Bill Clinton all the slack in the world. Anyone who can think this guy is a great president is not delusional, he's recreational. It's whatever we say it is. It's not worth the spit talking to them. A nuke could go off in the oval office and they would say whoops.

[SamThornton]

Here are the problems:

1) At an installation like Minot AFB, nuclear weapons can't even be accessed without a specific order from the base commander. He can't issue such an order without an order from his superior, who in this case is the Commander, Eighth Air Force, the officer in charge of the US global nuclear strike command, located at (you guessed it) Barksdale AFB, the destination of the nukes.

2) Nuclear weapons are handled exclusively by Special Weapons teams, responsible for loading and configuration of the weapons. No one else can touch them. The claim they were "accidentally loaded" is ludicrous on its face.

3) The crew of an aircraft on which nuclear weapons are loaded must go through a nuclear weapons checkoff before they take off. On an aircraft on which nuclear weapons are loaded, this is not an option.

4) Since the early 1960's, movement of nuclear weapons are monitored by international weapons inspectors. The "accidental movement" story appears to be designed to temporarily freeze weapons inspector's protests.

5) Once at Barksdale AFB, the weapons are available for further deployment. Barksdale is also the headquarters for worldwide bomber strike missions and the primary location of B2 bombers.

My guess, the six weapons already have "Good Morning Iran" written on their casing. Within the next two weeks the US will launch an air war on Iran, including the use of these tactical nukes in an attempt to take out Iranian nuclear facilities.

[fedupwiththis]

My God! I hope you are wrong. This would be the greatest evil unleashed by any government anywhere at any time. May God have mercy on us if this is done in our name.

[indypete]

I hope he's wrong, too but he makes a lot of sense.

[MissFortunate]

I posted this one this morning:

Are you sure it's Iran we have to worry about???

From what I'm reading, we don't even know if Iran has weapons, right? And many agree that they are years away from actually acquiring the capability to make these weapons.

Of course, we've got plenty here. Should we be more worried about the Nuclear weapons we have here than the ones Iran doesn't have?

---------------

Do we take this for granted though? We cart nuclear weapons around the states like they were carry-on luggage. We no longer own the high road on aything, this is just another example. Do I blame Bush? NO, but I do blame his use of the military as a means to line the pockets of the private corporations that profit from this war. What kind of money can be made from bombing Iran?

Sure, they assure us there was no danger, but they don't mind screaming fire in a crowded movie theater called the middle east.

[UncleDave]

Indeed,'Just to name a few'. While The RePugs can't get out of thier own way to be 'stupid/immoral/criminal pol of the week',The Dums err Dems sit around in a haze. The captain left the ship long ago. And the world laughs at US.

[connski]

calling general jack d. ripper. .
general d. ripper to the white courtesy telephone please.