Do you hate going to weddings alone? Are you single and never get invited to weddings with a guest? Do you hate the phrase "no ring, no bring"? Have you finally received the invitation with those two very special words you've been waiting for ... "and guest"? One problem: You're not seriously dating anyone. Now what?
Choosing a date for a wedding could be one of your most daunting tasks of 2012. Chances are you probably don't have a line of potential suitors waiting at your beck and call, so you'll have to do some digging. There's so much to consider in trying to keep the classy dating profile that you've worked ever so hard to achieve. So, should you ask Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now? Maybe there's a special someone you've had your eye on. Or a good friend that you may be crushing on. What about that cute and flirty co-worker? Whomever you decide to bring, here are the qualities to look for in your guest that will have you looking like a dating god.
First tip, don't bring an alcoholic. Listen, we all want to have a good time, but what you really need is someone who will be a coherent partner and affable enough to loosen up and enjoy the wedding with you. You don't want to bring some floozy who orders a double slippery nipple in front of your mother's judgmental sister, or the guy who offers the bride and groom a funky cigarette before they make their grand exit. That being said, you also don't want your date to be a total stiff. Hopefully you can find someone who knows how to control themselves and their liquor just enough to lighten the mood and add a little levity to the party. Side note: "Car Bombs" are also not OK to order any time or anywhere ... the title alone is terribly inappropriate.
Two of the most important characteristics to look for are personality and style. Obviously personality is probably the key ingredient to your success. Your ideal date would be friendly, gregarious, sophisticated, sociable, and refined. Yes, there really are people with all of these qualities out there! And sometimes a little prepping goes a long way: Be sure your date knows the demographic of the wedding before you get there. That way they don't mention their visit to Planned Parenthood at the wedding of the archbishop's great niece. As for style, you can't have your date looking like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman." Julia Roberts face, OK; blue hooker outfit with thigh high boots, not so much. You need a date, male or female, with grace and class. Think Kate Middleton or Ryan Gosling. Classy and friendly always wins when it comes to style AND personality.
Call me a prude that I didn't think this was important, but when I asked some friends what characteristics they thought were most important in a wedding date, the overwhelming response was "hook up-ability"... hmm, maybe that's why I wasn't asked to many weddings when I was single? Apparently everybody (not just the bride and groom) wants some action on the wedding night. That being said, I think one of my favorite artists, Ludacris, describes the perfect wedding guest when he sang, "a lady in the street but a freak in the bed." Well, OK, maybe not a freak, but when you're feeling the wedding love, you want to feel some in return. And let's be honest, aside from the fact that weddings make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, you are most likely spending a fair amount of money on your date, and a bonus would be feeling the warm and fuzzy inside AND OUT. Even President Obama gets in the mood when Al Green is around so let's also be sure to request his songs from the band so your date is primed and ready.
Last but certainly not least, choose a date who can dance! The heart of almost every wedding is the dance party, and if your date prefers sitting over samba-ing, it will not bode well for you. Pick someone who has better moves than Elaine Benes and doesn't think napkin headbands are hot.
Moral of the story is choose wisely and choose carefully. It could make or break your night ... and your dating profile. Good luck and godspeed.
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