"The Voice" has shown its audience some mercy by airing only an hourlong episode on Tuesday night, which means we're coming down the home stretch of blind auditions. Despite its shortened length, the installment included a very mixed bag of performers: a 55-year-old bus driver, a former pop-punk frontwoman and a man who's been deemed the "Smog Technician Heartthrob."
Read on to see what they (and the other "Voice" auditionees) had to offer.
"Only Girl in the World," Rihanna
Born in Egypt, but now living in Michigan, 19-year-old Sylvia isn't just auditioning for her; she's auditioning for her mom as well.
The young singer explains growing up in Egypt isn't easy for women, which is why her father moved her family to the States. Her mother wanted to sing professionally, but couldn't due to her surroundings and Sylvia is doing this for the both of them.
"I have an interest in law, but my passion lies in singing," she explains before taking the stage.
Jaimie: "Good default."
Chelsey: "Yeah. You have these people like, 'If a chair doesn't turn, I'll be homeless.' So gurl, you'll be fine."
Sylvia's got some funky dance moves and a lot of sass in her performance so it's not long before Christina presses her button. Blake quickly follows and then Cee Lo comes around.
Sylvia's energy increases and by the time she's done with the Rihanna hit, she's freaking out.
Christina says Sylvia's performance was "fun" and she thanks her for "getting the party going." She says she hears a voice in her and yet again, Sylvia's freaking out.
Blake says she's the "first singer that got stronger every time [a] chair turned around." He adds that he'd be "honored, thrilled and very excited" if she would pick him.
Then it's time for Cee Lo to say his piece. After he finally hushes the audience (with the help of Adam), Cee Lo simply says, "I want you on my team."
It's beginning to become clear as to why Cee Lo is out for next season.
Sylvia goes with Christina, who says she has her "dream hair." #GirlTalk
"Home" by Michael Buble
We are introduced to Charlie Rey after Carson gets in his* Kia and drives it ALL the way to Long Beach! Man, driving ONE county over? Talk about devotion. Anyway, we meet Charlie while he is working in his dad's smog shop and our minds immediately go to Season 2.
Chelsey: "He is the new James Massone. Except less greasy."
Jaimie: "Thank God! And no accent."
Chelsey: "But he's still gotta get out of the shawp! Can we still call it 'the shawp?' "
Jaimie: "Ugh, fine."
Carson bursts through the doors with a, "Can that smog wait for a second?"
Chelsey: "Carson's lines are so creative."
Jaimie: "I wish he'd gone with, 'Hey! Do you know this guy? SMOG!'"
Charlie (and his dad, who more so looks like his twin) is very attractive and there's no denying that, but we weren't very impressed with his performance. We're very surprised to see Blake push his button, and SHOCKED when Adam follows suit.
Jaimie: "I do not get what is happening."
Chelsey: "I guess I have to chalk this one up to one of those musically technical things that I don't understand? Because I don't get it."
Jaimie: "He sounds a little Dave Matthews. One is enough. Dayenu."
Now, it's hard to tell if the epic (OK, that's a little strong) battle between Blake and Adam that soon follows is because they both really want Charlie on their teams, or if it's because of the magical bromance that is Bladam. Regardless, it is such an intense back-and-forth that they even take a commercial break in the middle of it! The bickering over who is the better coadge continues, and the "smog technician heartthrob," as he is later called in the show, finally gets a word in to make his choice. Papa Blake it is.
"Valerie," Amy Winehuose
Growing up, Amanda was a church-going girl, but when she heard Radiohead for the first-time, the 27-year-old Bronx native couldn't believe her ears.The band inspired her to try out new genres and pursue music full-force, but she says, there will always be a little "Amazing Grace" in her.
Amanda used to sing background for Adele (Take that, Jermaine Paul!) and says the experience helped her realize that she wants to be her own artist.
Chelsey: "She is royalty."
As soon as Amanda takes the stage, there is a lot of shoulder shaking and side-stepping. Her wide-leg pants are moving, but sadly, the same cannot be said for the coadge's chairs.
When she throws in some runs at the tail end of her performance, Cee Lo finally presses his button and Amanda's wearing a big smile.
The coadges collectively wonder why Amanda didn't show the skills she displayed at the end of the song earlier in her performance. Christina says Amanda's ad libs were "dead on." But Amanda's just happy she's on Team Cee Lo so let's move on.
Team: Cee Lo
"Torn," Natalie Imbruglia
Cassadee Pope used to be in a band called Hey Monday (another blast from the past included in Chelsey's expansive iTunes library) and they toured with Fall Out Boy. Cassadee has since gone solo, and is hoping that this is her shot to jump start her career sans band. Before Cassadee's solo career can REALLY begin, here's Pete Wentz on Carson's cool Sprint toy with a PERSONAL VIDEO MESSAGE for Cassadee! That was super nice of Pete to take time out of his busy day to do this, no? And on a Sprint toy at that.
Cassadee hits the stage and sounds so good that she almost instantaneously turns the chairs of X-Tina, Blake AND Adam. Cee Lo is still holding out.
Chelsey: "Since when is Cee Lo the last to turn around?"
Jaimie: "Never before."
Cee Lo's hand continues to hover over the button, and he eventually pushes it oh-so-gently.
Chelsey: "That was almost like an accident. Like his hand was hovering over it and it just happened."
Jaimie: "I wish he had been like, 'OH F***! Not you.'"
So, it looks like Pope has added herself to the list of fourbies! But now the battle among the coadges begins. Cee Lo makes things creepy for a change when he exclaims, "She's got legs," in a sing-songy voice. Christina and Adam bicker like children over who pushed their button first, and Cassadee doesn't know what to do so her eyes just dart back and forth like she's watching the US Open. Blake then interrupts to tell Cassadee how great she is.
Chelsey: "Blake just stepped in like a drunk uncle. 'Hey ... Hey Cassadee ... lemme tell you why you're special...' "
Jaimie: "Yes. 'You're ... you're a superstar!' "
Looks like Cassadee likes booze, because the drunk uncle wins it! We're very happy for both Cassadee and Coadge Blake because this was a big win for his team, which has looked much less promising than some of the others in recent weeks.
Unfortunately, there were two contenders tonight who didn't make the cut:
"Virtual Insanity," Jamiroquai
I.J. Quinn works on a farm in North Carolina, but don't let his small town occupation fool you. "It's a HUGE operation," he tells us. Also, don't let this small town boy's voice fool you -- he is NOT a female, though he sounds exactly like one.
Chelsey: "I can't tell if his comment about the farm being a huge operation was sarcasm."
Jaimie: "I think not. Then again, it's hard to differentiate tone when you're sucking on helium."
I.J.'s performance does not impress the judges, but they sure are shocked to see that I.J. is a male. I.J. tells the coadges how he works on a pig farm and X-Tina gives him the, "Aww that's cute" reaction.
Jaimie: "Christina can relate. And she just snorted ... like a piglet. I'm not kidding"
"Get Here," Oleta Adams
Yolanda Barber is 55 years old and competing against 15 year olds, and she knows how crazy that sounds. The former cruise ship singer now drives a bus -- I'm sorry, "school vehicle"
--but is hoping to get back in the singing world.
When Yolanda starts singing the Oleta Adams song, we immediately think back to Lucy Hale's epic performance of it on the short-lived (but AMAZING) series "American Juniors." Yolanda sounds amazing as well, but she's a bit to mature for this game. No one turns around, and the coadges again give her nothing, but positive feedback and it does NOT make sense.
Jaimie: "SHUT UP, ADAM"
Chelsey: "He is the WORST at giving no negative feedback when he doesn't press his button."
Yolanda leaves the stage full of sass, and we miss her already. We might be closer to tears than she is.