Case No. 4689 - Former VP Dick Cheney v. Room Full of People Who Kind of Look Like They Have, At the Very Least, Thought About Al Qaeda.
Notes:
VP Dick Cheney was walking back from Chik-Fil-A after a hearty lunch, (Note: VP Cheney was very amused by the "Eat Mor Chikin" Cow posters, and had a Secret Service guard steal the kiosk for Cheney's bedroom) when he saw several young men with beards and Che Guavara shirts on, sitting on benches. Some were listening to iPods (probably a loop of a person screaming) and the others were reading (Probably books that said a lot of things about "American Infidels.")
VP Cheney spoke into his wrist and said "Hey, C.I.A., I need you to do a sweep of the mall lawn. I've got some interrogatin' to do." He then laughed for about seven minutes and was then told by his security detail that he did not have a microphone or any kind of wireless device in his shirtsleeve, so he was talking to no one.
Cheney then took the matter into his own hands and caught all the "suspects" in a large net he was carrying in his briefcase (Note: it was the ONLY thing in his briefcase).
Cheney then took the suspects to a Super 8 motel and tried the following methods of Interrogation, Cheney-style. (Note: not authorized by the C.I.A. or, anyone really).
-Sung the entire Patsy Cline greatest hits album. (also dressed up like Patsy Cline)
-Milkboarded (same as waterboarding, just with milk)
-Grimaced at suspects for an hour
-Danced shirtless and yelled
-Took out several bonesaws and repeatedly said "I know how to use these, and I am not afraid." (Note: never used any bonesaws, was probably afraid).
-Read them his manuscript "Oversteppin' My Boundaries (And Feelin' Fine)"
Apparently, the memoir reading worked and when VP Cheney got to chapter 19 "I Knew There Was a Confederate Flag Hanging in That Lodge and I didn't--and Still Don't--Give A Shit," one of the suspects leapt up and yelled "Please, please stop. We're just a lo-fi rock band from Brooklyn. We're playing the Lizard Lounge tonight. Please, let us go."
VP Cheney then, took a hair sample from each band-member/suspect and released them from the interrogation room.
He was later spotted at the Lizard Lounge, watching the show, cradling and kissing a Bonesaw. One onlooker saw Cheney feeding the saw a shot of whiskey.
The band never played another show again.
MoveOn Torture Ad Highlights Cheney For Investigation
The Raw Story | Cheney admits authorizing detainee's torture
SFGate: World Views : Confirmed: Cheney's Role in Approving Torture
Cheney wants CIA files for memoir - Mike Allen and Josh Gerstein ...
Commentary: Cheney says U.S. can torture but can't heal - CNN.com
White House Denies Cheney Endorsed Torture - CBS News
Clinton: Cheney Not a Reliable Source
Investigating Bush-Cheney Torture Policies "By the Book"
Rice and Cheney Approved Waterboarding: They Have Some Explaining ...
Disgraced commander calls out Cheney for 'scapegoating' Abu Ghraib ...
The American people are demanding some answers, just as we did in the banking meltdown and subsequent "rescue"(gift of billions in taxpayer money). For America to salvage our reputation world wide as a freedom-loving democracy and world leader we need to get all of this stuff out in the open, hold hearings and if necessary call Cheney, Rove, Rice and others to testify about what went on. For Obama to do anything LESS than encourage full disclosure would seriously compromise his credibility in the minds of many Americans who supported his election. I think many Americans WANT TO KNOW ALL the dastardly deeds the Bushies did while in office....and Cheney is the most dastardly of them all!!!
And more importantly, we want to see those who committed crimes put in jail.....NO MATTER who they are.
We're talking about people who are terrorists! And people who look like they might be terrorists, and people who look like they might know someone who might look like they might know someone who might be a terrorist.
We have a very narrow definition of "the enemy."
that would do it for me!!
The United States Department of Justice (DOJ) is a Cabinet department in the United States government designed to enforce the law and defend the interests of the United States according to the law and to ensure fair and impartial administration of justice for all Americans (see 28 U.S.C. § 501).
Why ..... that would be ..... uh ....., Oh, President Obama!
So, who decides?
Why ..... that would be ..... uh ....., oh, The Decider.
Yup, President Obama!
We really "...do need to rachet up the pressure..." on our President so he can't just "...pull the plug...".
http://thefiresidepost.com/2009/04/23/the-two-edged-sword-of-justice/