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James Altucher
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James Altucher has written 11 bestselling books. He is a successful entrepreneur. He's failed a gazillion times. He's lived to tell the tale. Sometimes he talks too much.

Entries by James Altucher

The Secret of All Art

(0) Comments | Posted August 3, 2015 | 3:57 PM

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(cc Louis CK, Kurt Vonnegut, JK Rowling, Casey Neistat, etc)

Steven Wright, the comedian, helps Louis CK write his TV shows. He's the ONLY person Louis CK trusts to help him.

Here's a Steven Wright joke, picture him saying it in...

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How to Not Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

(0) Comments | Posted July 27, 2015 | 4:00 PM

I met a girl in a bar. Which is the first and only time I had ever done that.

She said, "try this". It was a drink. I tried it. We ordered two more. Then two more. Then two more. then two more.

I went to the urine-stenched bathroom....

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Is Donald Trump Pulling a Nigerian 419 Scam?

(2) Comments | Posted July 23, 2015 | 3:10 PM

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I'm sort of breaking my promise here. No news. Why no news? Because the news you read is almost always by uninformed reporters and is totally irrelevant in 99.999% of the cases.

Example: Greece has not paid a single debt since Rome took...

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Anger Hides These Five Emotions

(0) Comments | Posted July 14, 2015 | 3:09 PM

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Ok, I admit it. I perjured in a court of law.

It was after I ran over a guy. It was in 1985 or 86. I forget. I was 17 or 18.

I remember it was raining. I remember the car spinning. I...

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Surrender for Life

(1) Comments | Posted July 8, 2015 | 12:38 PM

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We were the only people who visited Michael Singer. In 1971 he moved to a small plot of land in his van. His hope was to basically sit there and surrender to whatever the universe had to offer.

He had...

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10 Things to Do If You Were Fired Yesterday

(0) Comments | Posted July 6, 2015 | 12:18 AM

Then they told me I had to either take a 50% pay cut or I would be fired. If I was fired they would give me severance.

I didn't like either choice. I had responsibilities. I was counting on the money. I was scared. I wasn't expecting this.

HR said,...

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The One Learning Technique That Scared The Heck Out Of Bruce Lee

(8) Comments | Posted July 1, 2015 | 3:06 PM

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Once a week I crush my 13-year-old at tennis until she cries.

I feel I only have a one or two year window to do this. Then she will conquer and destroy and laugh at me.

So give me my chance....

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James Altucher's Top 5 Books to Read This Summer

(1) Comments | Posted June 26, 2015 | 8:47 PM

I tried to read on a beach once. I got the very first Kindle. It didn't have many books available but what it did, I downloaded and tried to read.

But it was uncomfortable and hot and my wife and kids kept going into the ocean, so I went...

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A Funny Thing Happened to Me on the Way to the Bank

(0) Comments | Posted June 25, 2015 | 11:36 AM

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Someone stole my identity yesterday. Briefly.

I woke up and there were two versions of my latest book, The Choose Yourself Guide to Wealth, listed on Amazon.

One was written by "James Altucher" and the other was written by "JAMES ALTUCHER"...

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Snoop Dogg for CEO of Twitter

(1) Comments | Posted June 16, 2015 | 7:47 PM

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Snoop Dogg should become CEO of Twitter and I'm about to tell you why.

But first, leave Dick Costolo, the outgoing CEO, alone. When Dick became CEO, Twitter was valued at about $3 billion. (now it's $26 billion).

The site was constantly overloaded...

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The Ultimate Guide To Finding A Mentor

(0) Comments | Posted June 15, 2015 | 10:31 AM

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After my dad went into a permanent coma I had to take his car back to the dealership and hand them the keys. They wanted to know what happened and I couldn't talk. I couldn't sign papers. I was shaking.

I held out...

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What Happens When You Don't Care

(1) Comments | Posted June 10, 2015 | 3:37 PM

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The worst thing that happened to me in five years happened three months ago. But, wait, I don't want to be complaining. More on that in a second.

"Are you going to kill yourself?" I bumped into one of my neighbors a...

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I Give Myself Permission to...

(0) Comments | Posted June 10, 2015 | 3:03 PM

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Oh, I can't do that. It would be rude.

Oh my god, there's that awkward silence.

My parents really want me to at least finish school so I can have "security".

I can't quit this job right when they are going into the...

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The Six Things the Most Productive People Do Every Day

(2) Comments | Posted June 5, 2015 | 11:31 AM

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I admit I stole this title. Part of being productive is to piggyback on the shoulders of greatness.

So I decided to write down what six things I do every day that help me with productivity. They make work for you. Or...

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How to Be a Bad Leader

(1) Comments | Posted May 28, 2015 | 11:29 AM

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I am the best bad leader in the world. Not only do I know everything about how to fail as a leader but I also have spent large amounts of time with bad leaders.

This is a UNIQUE opportunity for you...

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Mimi Makes a Million

(2) Comments | Posted May 19, 2015 | 11:47 AM

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I think I'm in love with Mimi Ikonn. Oh, and also her husband Alex Ikonn. Don't want to confuse anyone!

When I was a kid I didn't think I would be happy unless I was a "millionaire". Some kids in my...

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How Do I Know if I Should Take a Job at a Startup?

(0) Comments | Posted May 12, 2015 | 3:45 PM

Imagine if someone asked "would you invest in this company?" Your answer is going to be similar. With a few additions.

Here's the checklist I would follow:

A) Has the CEO built a business before?

This is not always reliable (Mark Zuckerberg or Larry Page hadn't built businesses before) but...

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10 Reasons to Stay at Your Job

(2) Comments | Posted May 7, 2015 | 1:54 PM

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I used to love my job. Love it. I worked for my favorite entertainment company in the world.

I would've paid to work there.

I made friends at work. And on weekends we'd even get together and play poker. Sometimes we'd...

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Step By Step Guide to Make $10 Million and Then Totally Blow It

(1) Comments | Posted September 30, 2014 | 4:40 PM

$70 million was a lot of money for me at the time. And I couldn't sleep at night until I gave back every dollar to the people who gave it to me.

I was running the sort of fund where people gave me money and then I invested it in...

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10 Reasons You Have to Quit Your Job in 2014

(104) Comments | Posted April 8, 2014 | 1:25 PM

This was going to end badly.

My boss screamed at me in front of my colleagues. I had done something wrong of course. I had sent a product to the client without debugging it thoroughly. It was my fault. But I don't like being yelled at.

And fortunately I was...

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