Tonight in California, at the Ronald Reagan Library no less, 10 of the Republicans vying for the chance to be cannon fodder versus one of the top Democrats in 2008 will gather for their first debate. Here are a few questions that might come up - I thought I would post them as a way of helping my friends across the aisle prep for their big moment.
We loved your heart-warming version of "Bomb Iran" from the campaign trail recently. Any plans to do your version of "Imagine" by John Lennon. "Imagine all the people living life in war..."
When you see your cousin who was your first wife at family reunions, is it awkward? Or do you guys just laugh it off as one of those silly pranks of youth?
If you lose, do you have to give the Church its money back?
If Jared and Subway can't cut a new deal, are you interested?
After you bomb Mecca and incite World War III, are you going to Disneyland?
How will your performance tonight be similar to Mike Gravel's?
Will your cousin Fred be able to come out and play soon?
How does it feel to be the one real conservative on the stage? And have 98% of your party supporting someone else? Can you use the word "hypocrite" in a sentence?
For all candidates
We made this mistake before -- please pronounce the word 'nuclear'
If you are for civil unions and equal rights for all Americans, raise your right hand. Against them, raise your left, and yes Mayor Giuliani and Governor Romney, you can raise both.
Are there any women, black people or Hispanics in your party, if so, where?
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