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Rejected White House Correspondents' Dinner Hosts

Posted: 04/27/2012 10:49 pm

Comedian Jimmy Kimmel is headlining this year's White House Correspondents Dinner. Kimmel beat out of a number of other comics considered for the job:

Bill Cosby

Pro: One of the most beloved comedians of all time.
Cons: Tendency to pitch Jello Jigglers at inappropriate moments.
Sample Joke: "Osama bin Laden was a handful of trouble! Just like Jigglers are a handful of fun!"

Carrot Top

Pro: Makes crusty Washington wonks look beautiful by comparison.
Con: America is suffering enough already.
Sample Joke: Holds miniature Washington Monument, giggles.

Lisa Lampanelli

Pro: Equal opportunity offender.
Con: Really offensive.
Sample Joke: "My ******* is so ****** it looks like Joe Biden's *******!"

Bob Hope

Pro: The quintessential American comic.
Con: Dead.
Sample Joke: "It was either host this show or continue rolling over in my grave."

Larry the Cable Guy

Pro: Provides his own tuxedo.
Con: The tuxedo is sleeveless.
Sample Joke: Congress sucks! Git-R-Done!"

Sinbad

Pro: He once played a Secret Service agent in "First Kid." The jokes write themselves!
Con: Those jokes are being delivered by Sinbad.
Sample Joke: "Remember how I used to wear funny neon jumpsuits in the '90s? Anyone?"

Robin Williams

Pro: Actually funny.
Con: For some in the press, his free-associations about recreational drug use hit a little too close to home.
Sample Joke: Talking to the President in his "black man" character while the audience squirms silently.

Dane Cook

Pro: Tells a lot of wonderful stories about Burger King.
Con: No one at the White House Correspondent's Dinner will admit to going to Burger King.
Sample Joke: Pacing around the stage breathing weirdly into the mic until the First Lady asks him to leave.

 

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