Comedian Jimmy Kimmel is headlining this year's White House Correspondents Dinner. Kimmel beat out of a number of other comics considered for the job:
Pro: One of the most beloved comedians of all time.
Cons: Tendency to pitch Jello Jigglers at inappropriate moments.
Sample Joke: "Osama bin Laden was a handful of trouble! Just like Jigglers are a handful of fun!"
Pro: Makes crusty Washington wonks look beautiful by comparison.
Con: America is suffering enough already.
Sample Joke: Holds miniature Washington Monument, giggles.
Pro: Equal opportunity offender.
Con: Really offensive.
Sample Joke: "My ******* is so ****** it looks like Joe Biden's *******!"
Pro: The quintessential American comic.
Sample Joke: "It was either host this show or continue rolling over in my grave."
Larry the Cable Guy
Pro: Provides his own tuxedo.
Con: The tuxedo is sleeveless.
Sample Joke: Congress sucks! Git-R-Done!"
Pro: He once played a Secret Service agent in "First Kid." The jokes write themselves!
Con: Those jokes are being delivered by Sinbad.
Sample Joke: "Remember how I used to wear funny neon jumpsuits in the '90s? Anyone?"
Pro: Actually funny.
Con: For some in the press, his free-associations about recreational drug use hit a little too close to home.
Sample Joke: Talking to the President in his "black man" character while the audience squirms silently.
Pro: Tells a lot of wonderful stories about Burger King.
Con: No one at the White House Correspondent's Dinner will admit to going to Burger King.
Sample Joke: Pacing around the stage breathing weirdly into the mic until the First Lady asks him to leave.
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