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James Love

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The Sex Lives of Political Figures

Posted: 06/07/11 12:12 PM ET

It must by now be obvious that people in politics have sex, outside of the conventional and sometimes puritanical values presented to the voters. Any list of political love affairs, casual affairs, paid sex, risky or kinky sex, flirtations, same gender sex and multiple marriages would be long, and relatively uncorrelated to political parties or ideologies. It should also be obvious that political figures lie about their sex lives. These lies are told for all sorts of reasons, some self serving, some out of consideration to third parties whose lives are also impacted by candor, and some lies that simply try to establish some boundaries to the public's "right to know."

There is no evidence that the best leaders have the most monogamous or boring sex lives, nor can one argue the reverse.

It is both unrealistic and stupid to insist that politicians "tell the truth" about their sex lives. People lie about sex, and often this is a positive, not a negative. Do you really want to know everything about the sex lives of your parents, your children, their school teachers, the manager of the local Safeway, or your car pool buddies? Why would you want to know everything about the sex lives of members of Congress, judges or Governors?

The best outcome might be to tell politicians to keep their sex lives to themselves. Don't make your happy marriage the center piece of your campaign. Don't volunteer to be interviewed by Wolf Blitzer on CNN about your sexting habits. Don't call excessive attention to your sex life, or lack of a sex life. Don't go on television to condemn someone else's messy sex scandal. But mostly, don't feel obligated to tell the truth, about your sex life. This is not the same as promising to take positions on real policy issues, to get elected, and then immediately changing or abandoning positions, once in office. This is not the same as lying about your resume, lying about the constant trading of special interest legislation for campaign contributions, or lying about matters of war and peace, or the public's civil rights. This is not the same as lying about the countless things that really do impact our lives, and which political figures are given real responsibility and trust.

In short, feel somewhat free to lie about your sex lives. But less free to lie about everything else associated with your job as an elected official.

 

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11:11 AM on 06/08/2011
Gandhi, in his autobigraphy, discussed his experiment to test his celibacy vows by sleeping naked with two his female disciples. A lot, good and bad, has been written about it. Could he have survived that scandal if he had lived in the age of Twitter/Facebook/Internet?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Royal Payne
10:36 AM on 06/08/2011
Why should politicians be made to tell the truth about their sex lives but nothing else ... unless it was a campaign promise.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TRex86
Enjoying life in West Ohio
09:13 AM on 06/08/2011
Human sexuality is a defining characteristic of homo sapiens, as much as intelligence (an unproven assumption) and binocular vision. We have all that bare skin and nerve endings for a reason. Our eyesight is excellent and keyed to our libidos. Our brains bring wonderful powers of imagination. Sex is the attractant and the bond between humans in lasting, intimate relationships, but it's fun anytime and just about any place.

Both sexes have libidos. Just ask any woman in her late thirties or older. Men, unfortunately, taper off in their twenties and need extra features to excite them the way any stimulus did as a late teen. Speaking from my seventh decade I can attest that quality supplants quantity along the way but sex remains the only objective proof of intelligent design (maybe chocolate too).

Human existence without sexuality would be drab indeed. It gives that "Christmas is coming" sense of anticipation, and if properly expressed, is a joy unique to life. It has no limitation in its expression (between consenting adults). It is celebrated every ten minutes on television with commercials hustling drugs for male performance. Yet the FDA has refused to approve low dose testosterone as an enhancement for female libido. It thus epitomizes all the the contradictions and hypocricies of modern culture.

If God created mankind in his image He was one funny dude. When asked what he would like more than anything else, 80 year-old Grouch Marx said, "An erection."
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Grace Note
Is it just me?
07:10 AM on 06/08/2011
Yes! I agree with you. Good article.
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
05:00 AM on 06/08/2011
I agree in general, but in some cases there are genuine issue of potential blackmail, mingling with criminality, and the display of such dismally poor judgement that it may show up in more relevant aspects of the politician's life. I reckon Weiner's made it into the third of these categories.
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Kevin Rayburn
honesty in politics is a guilty plea
04:01 AM on 06/08/2011
the sex life of political figures sounds like a horrible made for TV movie.
03:56 AM on 06/08/2011
Thanks for the insightful article. While I mostly agree, it must be said that "sex" decisions are decisions and they are no different than other decisions. ie Do I want a president who puts himself/herself at high disease risk during sexual acts? I would suggest that this kind of decision making is not only within the sexual realm,. Taking those kind of risks when they involve the lives
of citizens is highly undesireable.
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budanatr
US Expat in EU
03:30 AM on 06/08/2011
Well said.
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chachizel
A progressive, atheist Mexican/American
12:41 AM on 06/08/2011
As I've said before, it's not the act, it's the hypocrisy. Just keep it to yourself. I personally could care less what, or who you do.
05:12 AM on 06/08/2011
It isn't even the hypocracy. We don't have a right to the truth about everything. Just represent your constituents well. Breitbart is the biggest sleeze of the bunch in this story. And the women piling on, women who willingly participated it in ... please. They're just cashing in. Weiner was an idiot but there is more than enough sleeze to go around.
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TheRoosterman
Crazy Texan
12:21 AM on 06/08/2011
Sex is just the diversion from the more important matters.
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11:55 PM on 06/07/2011
Aw. I wrote one of my most heartfelt replies to this article. And it got the ax.
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french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
10:42 PM on 06/07/2011
How does the idea of one's sex life being private get conflated with lying about it? I've no desire to know about anyone's sex life, but if they present themselves as Mr (or Ms) Oh-so-clean family values - which is to say, pushing a particular image or claim - and are then shown to be anything but, it's a matter of dishonesty.

It's also a matter of too many politicians telling everyone else how to behave - they want to control what we do in our bedrooms, who we may marry, when and how we breed - but then it all proves to be "do what I say, not what I do".

Dishonesty and hypocrisy are the problems here.
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nikanj
free the fnords
10:22 PM on 06/07/2011
This article is so male - oriented.
Imagine if a married female politician sent pictures of,
lets say, her breasts (not even sexual in some cultures)
to a hot 20-something stud. Same response from the author ? Sure . . .
05:07 AM on 06/08/2011
It won't get better for women without getting better for men first. That's the reality. We need to stop with this fixation on the sex lives of our public officials. No matter what the gender is. Women lie about their sex lives, too, and well they should. We don't have a need to know.
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nikanj
free the fnords
12:02 PM on 06/08/2011
Not everyone lies about their sex lives,
but if you do, then you have become a slave to your sexuality.
Some of us realize that, and realize that sexual honesty is important.
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James Love
12:50 PM on 06/08/2011
Mitch Daniels dropped out of GOP primary to avoid all sorts of questions about his wife, and to protect her from having to answer questions about her sex life. Some female politicians (and cabinet officers) have had to dodge questions about their sexual preferences. Since most members of Congress and State legislatures are still men these days, there are, of course, more data points for men. I don't think women candidates should have to answer questions about past abortions, or other aspects of their sexuality, if they don't want to. And, to the extent that politicians want to regulate our sex lives, there will be cases where voters will assert a right to know all sorts of things, perhaps with some justice in some cases. However, I do not think voters have a general right to know the truth about anyone's sex life.
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ckdogs
10:01 PM on 06/07/2011
Finally - someone says what I'm thinking on this subject. Jefferson had a mistress; Clinton and Kennedy were both great presidents, and they had less conventional sex lives. As long as no one is exploited or forced, it's no one's business. I do agree with Jeff9K, however, that those who campaign on religious or puritanical values, should be fair game.
02:26 AM on 06/08/2011
If you are writing about Sally Hemings, you should reconsider the word "mistress"; Jefferson did not have a mistress. He had a slave. He was thirty years older, and came into contact with Hemings when she was 14. It's not clear when the affair started, but a man pushing 50 was having sex with a teenager. I don't understand the justification for calling Hemings a "mistress," as if she had a choice.
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ckdogs
06:30 PM on 06/08/2011
You're absolutely correct. I guess I was thinking in terms of his having other contacts besides his wife.
09:57 PM on 06/07/2011
Well well, brevity really IS the soul of wit.
Finally! A short to-the-point article!
Thank you!