Are You an Internet Addict?

I went to the movies the other day and noticed that instead of just the usual courtesy request for people to turn off their cell phones during the movie, additional wording has been added to prohibit texting during a movie. I immediately thought that somewhere in the movie theatre some teen's face was reflected in green or blue radiance from their personal communication device as they texted: "OMG, at movies n they sd no txting during show! WTF! LOL!" or something shorter and more code-like. But this affliction isn't just for teens anymore.

Even sitting over coffee with a friend or a coaching client we're constantly interrupted by phone calls and the quick 'check' to see if it's a call they'll take or one they'll ignore. Then there's the buzz, beep or vibration that alerts the cell owner to an incoming e-mail. I thought mail was to be opened and answered at the viewer's discretion, not treated like a missed phone call! Add to this blitz the instant messages and texts that are kind of like talking but instead of speech, we type, and we misspell and abbreviate to the point we need to learn a new language which looks etymologically like it came from early license plate code much the same way that English has roots in Greek, Latin and a few other languages.

Just this past Sunday I came home from a charity event and found out that another person in attendance was taking photos with their camera and pasting them up on Facebook in real time, like a reality show or some sort of cultural anthropologist reporting on the mysterious meetings of suburban families to walk for any cause that's affected them or their families. This same person is known to make comments on Facebook at 3 or 4 AM when they can't sleep or to report that someone isn't returning their phone calls with the additional symbol of a 'sad face' using parentheses and a colon for emphasis. I'm sympathetic as the next person, but is a headache or your child's upset stomach a newsworthy event that the other 8 zillion subscribers to your social network are waiting for are update on?

So does this preoccupation qualify as an 'addiction'? Addiction is defined on Thefreedictionary.com as: "Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance." That would include those who get emotionally distraught when texts and emails aren't returned almost immediately or who check emails while at social events. The level of compulsion for this activity rests in the same pleasure centers of the brain as do other addictions like gambling, narcotics and alcohol so my vote is 'yes', the preoccupation is an addiction or at least the early warning signs of one.

"The very nature of the Internet also lends itself to overuse and abuse, encouraging us to exhibit behaviors that are counterproductive, isolating and disruptive to our closet relationships...to ourselves, our families, our employers and the community at large" says Dr. Dave Greenfield of The Center for Internet and Technology Addiction.

Now do I picture people holed up in a padded room, chained to a bed while some sympathetic therapist wipes their fevered brow with a damp cloth as they 'kick' their Twitter dependency? Not really. But a little research shows that extremes are being met and that the threat is real: in China one-third of high school aged children studied showed signs of addiction, including paranoia, when they were without their phones, and two-thirds were "constantly worried" that they would miss a text message when their phones were off. It could get worse, yes, but must it?

As a coach I am offering these tips to you, if you even suspect you are becoming dependent on your cell phone and social networking outlets. Share them with those you are concerned about and please realize, we might laugh about it, but it's not a joke by any means.

Tips to achieve balance from a coaching perspective:

1. Start your day working on a project instead of on the internet or e-mail. This one adjustment increased my production by an incalculable amount. When I turn on my computer in the morning I spend the first hour working on my most urgent assignments or tasks. After I have moved the project forward or accomplished that day's task I check e-mails and communications.


2. Schedule your email and internet use. This is often the toughest thing to put in place with my clients. I suggest that they plan out 2-3 times a day when they'll check their internet and messaging devices and outlets. This discipline can give you back the sense of control of your schedule that constant instant access has robbed from you. Try it for a week and see for yourself.


3. Share your schedule with others. My personal e-mail signature lets everyone know that I only check e-mail once or twice a day and instructs them to call me on my cell if it is an urgent matter. You are training people how to best work with you and again, it gives you back some sense of control of your schedule.


4. Work your focus 'muscle' little by little. If you are easily distracted, try starting small 'focus workouts', 15 minute blocks of time when you work on just one thing with no distractions. After a while, like a week or two, up that time to 30 minutes and build progressively. By the way (BTW in 'text speak'), even the most 'focus muscled' mind needs a break about every 90 minutes on average to operate at peak capacity so take frequent breaks, but real breaks, where you rest and recharge your brain.


5. Create 'free zones' or places you won't use the internet or where you'll limit its use. For example, during work hours turn off your personal cell and avoid your personal e-mails. If you're getting personal e-mails and texts at work then your production is going to slip and you are ripping off your employer - if you work for yourself this is doubly true!


6. Get help. Seriously, if your texting, e-mailing and internet use has passed the level of socially acceptable behavior and is replacing or endangering your relationships or work then you need to take action now. Ironically, searching the web for internet addiction resources can be a healthy step and there are many to choose from. But start with a friend, a live one, in a live conversation, and tell them of your concern and ask for support. Try the Center for Internet Addiction as I've mentioned above at http://www.virtual-addiction.com/.

I realize that this message is going out via the Internet and will be Tweeted, Buzzed up, Digg'd, posted on Facebook, etc. and there's a certain irony in that. What we're talking is not abstinence or burying your head in the sand to avoid the 'demon technology' or any other doomsday message. What I'm talking about is balance. As the Roman dramatist Terence remarked, "Moderation in all things."

I have to go now; I've used up my Internet allotment!

 

 

Follow James M. Lynch on Twitter: www.twitter.com/YourActingCoach

Comments

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello James,

Great post!

I find this subject fascinating, both because I am guilty of going on endless internet searches and find myself "coming to" several hours later, and I find myself annoyed when someone checks their email on their cell phone or texts a message to a friend in the middle of a conversation we're having.

I think I must have read the same research as you about the pleasure centers of the brain being activated during internet searches. It's the old hunter/gatherer instinct.

Like Ageless Don, I have resisted getting a smart phone for this very reason. The seduction is the illusion of becoming more productive, but very often the opposite is true. I took a week off the internet to attend a workshop at Esalen a couple of weeks ago. At first, I did feel some withdrawals. Once I broke free, it was glorious! My internet use hasn't been the same since.

Thanks for a great article!

Abundant blessings,
Judith

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

What's a smart phone?

:-)

Long live the replenishing effects of withdrawal and ascesis! After all, it was the monks who invented beer, along with writing, printing, spreading the word and some other stuff.

[James M. Lynch - Huffpost Blogger]

Dio,

Smart phones are the ones that are mini computer centers with email, internet access, texting, etc. like Treo, iPhones, Blackberries, etc.

You're right about monks, too, and the pleasures of withdrawal, but again, all things in moderation.

Cheers

[James M. Lynch - Huffpost Blogger]

Judith,

First of all, when you write 'abundant blessings' it is not a 'toss away' and I slow down to really accept them as I know you spend words wisely; thank you.
My first 'smart phone' was a Treo and I resisted it until I realized I could be away from my desk and check in on things -- I was managing about 50 plus people at the time -- so it gave me freedom. After a few weeks though, my wife started pointing out that I was checking it all of the time, including weekends and at traffic lights -- G-d forbid I wasted the 30 seconds on RED! I got the message and now I use my phone a bit more sanely.
My time, like now, spent on the internet is like an indulgence and, as I have a second business that is solely done online, is also a time to 'check the crops'. I want to have the best of all worlds, doesn't everyone, so I'll enjoy technology in balance with LIVE fun with family and friends.

Thank you, my friend, for your visit and the time you share with me -- even if it is virtual.
Love, James.

[James M. Lynch - Huffpost Blogger]

Don,
It's possibly both the curmudgeon and a real concern. I wrote this in response to a few actual incidents in my daily life and did some research. It shows, as I point out briefly, that the same pleasure centers in the brain are activated by these activities as cocaine or other substances so the physical symptoms are real and concerning.

As to the change in our social mores, yes, that's true too. I actually was in a seminar yesterday where they were showing us how to use Twitter to our advantage and was both on my Twitter and in the room with others and a facilitator and it was actually fun. But, as you know me, I am a proponent of slowing down, questioning how I use my time and making sure my choices are conscious to the best of my ability. When that process is interrupted, conscious choice, 'attention must be paid'.

Thanks for stopping in and certainly for not driving under the e-fluence!

James.

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

you wrote:
'I thought mail was to be opened and answered at the viewer's discretion, not treated like a missed phone call!'

That's probably the strangest abuse I can imagine. It's dangerous enough to waste an awful lot of time in less than desirable ways. But to allow these tools to obstruct the rhythm of our daily lives is not only dumb but truly annoying for innocent bystanders. There are probably different tastes, but as far as I'm concerned, the whole point of email is to save time and allow meaningful structuring of messaging. I much prefer it over (cell-)phone. Why would anyone pick up the worst of both worlds? That seems to be worse than an addiction - it seems like a need to inflict pain on oneself.

[James M. Lynch - Huffpost Blogger]

Diogenes,

Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Scheduling my time checking emails was probably the biggest performance breakthrough I've had in years. I found I was working for my emails -- they set my work schedule and created fractured conversation. The incoming beep and 'You've got mail' reminders have to be turned off. I like your 'meaningful structuring of messaging' too because the professionals who are treating emails like e-conversations abandon structure. As a former corporate trainer, I'd review email to clients that had no salutation, no caps, no punctuation, etc. and when it was pointed out to employees they'd say 'and your point is . . .?"

Again, thanks for stopping in and commenting. I appreciate it.

James.

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

Thank you for writing the post and for masterfully reminding me that writing about meaningful structuring of messaging isn't always the same thing as really sticking to the schedule.

:-)

What I'm saying is that I am far from having implemented your list of tips for achieving balance. Now, I wouldn't say that I am picturing myself 'holed up in a padded room', but you have definitively managed to hit some of my guilt buttons.

The point being that with more structure and discipline, a lot more can be achieved, and it doesn't even require any sacrifices. Only that time-tested tool of prioritization plus a little dose of the context-bundling that is part of the Getting-Things-Done method of D. Allen: making sure that units of work (or semi-work or leasure) come in bundles that get the most out of the spatio-temporal contraints. And checking emails as they come in is pretty much the opposite of that.

I wonder whether there will be access to Huffpo in that padded room? :-)

[AgelessDon]

As a blogger and long time sales professional, I have mixed feelings about this post. I understand the emotional stakes of returned e-mails and texts. I have also been annoyed by texting/phone use at movies, restaurants, or in conversation.
Is this concern about "internet addiction" a sign of creeping curmudgeon-ness? Maybe the social mores are just changing and we need to adjust to them.

I will say that I don't have "smart phone" because I know that I would text or e-mail while driving. And that certainly is not right!
Thought-provoking.