John Robison Does Not Need to Look Me in the Eye

The epidemic of autism that is ripping through our country now has a terrific new spokesman from its own ranks. His name is John Elder Robison.

John made his national debut last week at the inaugural reading of his astounding book, Look Me In the Eye, (Crown Books) a memoir of a man who grew up not realizing he had autism. The title comes from his father's repeated admonitions to make eye contact, something he and many other people with autism cannot bear to do.

This is not a "cure" book, not a "take my magic elixir and be healed" spiel. This is a tale of a guy going through life without knowing that his mind is wired differently than much of society.

It is ironic -or perhaps fitting -- that this most articulate spokesman for people with a communication disorder is himself someone who spent most of his childhood and adult life dismissed as being inarticulate. He was also accused of stupidity, classified as a social misfit and identified as someone who needed to be kept away from classmates. He got tossed out of school and muddled through life -- quite successfully as it happened -- marching to a different drummer.

John had already celebrated his 40th birthday, when a psychologist neighbor informed him that he had Asperger's Syndrome -- one of the conditions in the diagnostic basket known as "the autism spectrum." John had gone through life assuming that his compulsion to hyper-focus on mechanical objects was just one of those things. He felt badly that his earnest attempts to socialize were sometimes misunderstood as abrasive, but couldn't figure out how to tone down.

John says the diagnosis set him free. He finally understood why family, teachers, bosses and customers misunderstood him. Autism, as John learned so belatedly in his life, is a neurological disorder that creates difficulty in communication and social interaction. A generation ago it was a rare disorder; it now affects 1 in 94 newborn boys. At one end of the spectrum reside the profound folks like my son Dan who lost his verbal speech 16 years ago and lumbers through life on good looks, charm and a posse of aides. Among those on the so-called "higher functioning" area of the spectrum are people like John who have enough skills to escape medical scrutiny, but whose behaviors frequently require explanation.

(Before anyone complains, let me say that Temple Grandin, PhD, until now the most famous person with autism, is great. Like John, she leveraged her unique skills into a successful career and has written personal and profound insider books about autism. Her tales are more scientific than John's; just as important but not as easy for someone not closely involved with autism to consume)

John's journey is remarkable, especially in his own voice in the "on tape version" where each fact is highlighted by the twang of his comforting flat Yankee baritone. He grew up in an epically dysfunctional household: the account of the family, after John is described in the mega-best seller Running With Scissors written by his brother who writes under the name Augusten Burroughs. John had his own challenges. Two quick examples: Applying a stick to the head of a kindergarten classmate to display affection and placing his 4-year-old brother (the above mentioned sibling whose real name was Chris but John called 'Varmint') upside down in a five foot hole to measure the child's escape skills. Without context such activities could be judged criminal; in context they are completely logical.

Like a very small number of people with autism (repeat "very small number") John developed savant qualities. He doesn't card-count like Rain Man, but he has certain mechanical quirks that serve him well. He invented special guitars that put him on tour with the rock band KISS; he developed toys for Milton Bradley; and built a successful business fixing high end cars like Land Rovers and Jaguars. He is more fluently conversant than nearly any locomotive engineer on the subject of the air brake. He is married, has a teenaged child and a house in leafy suburban Massachusetts. His memoir, a sure thing best seller, will justifiably make him immensely wealthy.

When we first met, back in June, John was still coming to grips with his new role as Uber Autist. He gave a somewhat mechanical reading from his still unpublished book "Writers on Autism" symposium (developed by my wife, the author Barbara Fischkin). John seemed overwhelmed by the applause and attention following what was one of the first public readings of his then unpublished book.

My son Dan pushed his way through the crowd to introduce himself. Dan communicates with a combination of primitive sign language, grunts and the sheer mass of being 6 feet 2 and 230 pounds. Dan moved people aside to get face to face with John. I did the verbal introduction and the men stared at each other. John seemed at a loss. Dan offered his hand for a shake. John did not react and Dan thrust his big mitt forward again. John clasped and they shook, two big fellows making acquaintance. There was an immediate connection.

John opined that looking someone in the eye is perhaps over-rated. Now that he mentioned it, I agree. We live in an electronic age where most of our communication is no longer face to face so when it is, why insist on iris to iris?

At his inaugural post-publication reading in Union Square last week, John soared. He laughed at his own jokes and explained carefully to us that just because people with autism think differently it doesn't mean that they aren't logical. He isn't "cured" simply aware.

After John finished his talk, Dan did something he rarely does. He clapped, again and again and again.

Danny and the million other people with autism in the United States have found their voice. It is important that the rest of us listen to John Elder Robison and not worry so much about eye contact.

Comments

[lifeorileyo]

I am halfway through the book and it is fantastic whether you know someone on the spectrum or not.

It will be a catylyst for much discussion regarding "eye contact" for sure.

[AutismVox]

Well said! Am looking forward to read more such accounts, too, as more adults with autism write and tell their stories. best wishes from Kristina Chew

[Stagmom]

Bullseye, Mulvaney! I've been singing the praises of LMITE for months, since I met John last spring.

First off, John is an amazing story teller. It doesn't matter if you know a single person with autism or Aspergers - you will LOVE his "character" (himself) and his eye popping stories. He's had QUITE a life!

I think John's book will help all of our kids on the spectrum. Your handsome some Danny (who gave me a very nice hug last week) and my three little girls, who are profoundly affected by their autism.

I love this book - and yes, I am considered a "Curebie" in the autism world. My hopes of ameliorating my girls less than desireable autism traits in no way precludes full acceptance of them and anyone else with autism.



Kim Stagliano
HuffPo contributor
kimstagliano.blogspot.com

[posthumous]

Another great insider voice for autism is Donna Williams, author of Nobody Nowhere and its sequels. Nobody Nowhere is a book I will never ever forget.

[homesteader]

I've shared a couple of Temple Grandin's books with a friend with an autistic child. I find them fascinating because of the insights I get about my animals (and, hey, she explains why drugs that act like speed for normal people work to slow down attention deficit disorder kids), but I think she finds them rough going.
Glad to know there's another possibility.