I Raise My Debt Ceiling Every Freaking Day

07/27/2011 11:43 am ET | Updated Sep 26, 2011
  • James Napoli Satirist, author of The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm

Can't these politicians just do it already? Don't they have any idea how easy it is to raise a debt ceiling? Clearly, they have been living a privileged life for far too long. If they would just check with their constituents, they would learn that raising one's debt ceiling is a very simple affair.

For example, let's say you lost your job a few years ago when the economic bubble started to burst, and now, even though you are working two jobs, each pays only a little more than minimum wage and so every month when the rent is due you find yourself coming up short on what it takes to keep a roof over your head. Hello, plastic! Nothing like a handy convenience check from a credit card company with a promotional interest rate that will run out shortly after the six months you spend barely being able to make the minimum monthly payments on the damn thing. Bam! Debt ceiling raised.

Or maybe you're waiting for a paycheck to come in but your company pays on a two-week cycle and it won't hit your bank account in time to buy the groceries you need to feed yourself and/or others. Just swipe that credit card at Trader Joe's and let the fact that you'll be paying off that bag of soy meatballs at 21.99 percent aid your digestion! Presto! You have successfully upped the limit of your ever-increasing debt!

And then, there's the pinnacle of all debt-ceiling raising achievement: those magical months when you have to use the cash advance you took out on your credit card just to make the minimum monthly payment on the very same credit card. Slam dunk! Talk about taking the debt ceiling up a notch.

Even though they are not noted for paying any attention to the public, politicians have to start understanding that when it comes to robbing Peter to pay Paul, the working people of America have vastly more experience than their elected representatives.

James Napoli is an author and humorist. More of his comedy content for the web can be found here.