04/20/2011 06:40 pm ET | Updated Jun 20, 2011

Oh, Please. There Is No Conspiracy Against the Poor and Middle Class in America.


I wish liberals would get off their paranoid high horses and let go of their quaint little idea that there is some sort of conspiracy against the working classes in America by big business and those who control most of the nation's wealth.

There is no conspiracy against working people in this country.

The fact is, we are getting reamed in a very public and out-in-the-open way.

According to data from 2009, The average pay for a CEO is 185 times the pay received by the average worker. The share of income claimed by the super rich is over 100 percent higher than those even in the third highest twenty percent. Some of the wealthiest corporations are trying their damndest not to pay taxes. The U.S. may well have an unequal distribution of wealth on a par with a banana republic. And when workers in Wisconsin try to get their due, it takes a prank call to their governor to let them know how little a crap he actually gives.

The Free Online Dictionary defines conspiracy as "a secret plan or agreement to carry out an illegal or harmful act, esp. with political motivation."

Come on, people. This stuff is about as secret as the latest thinly-disguised plea for help from Charlie Sheen.

Trickle-down economics is being blocked by the giant enlarged prostate of greed. Not an inappropriate metaphor, given the bodily function involved and what's being done to the 400,000 people out of work and the 52 million people without health coverage.

It's like the fat cats are getting up several times a night to pee, but nothing is coming out. It's only a burning sensation. Maybe that burning sensation is guilt. But I doubt it.

At any rate, conspiracy theorists, give it up. Nobody's doing anything without your knowledge. We are being given the finger on a daily basis in a forum as public as a status update on Facebook or a tweet with a trending hashtag. Let's face it: if these folks really wanted to fly under the radar, they would have used LinkedIn.

James Napoli is an author and humorist. More of his comedy content for the web can be found here.