Self Awareness is my current line of work, and I am somewhat obsessed with it. From where I have stood in work and personal experiences, those individuals with a very real view of themselves are the most effective and influential people.
Truth be told, I have not always been incredibly self-aware, and I continually have to check myself to navigate back to a good level of internal understanding. I used to blame others often, try to control things I should not have, and let emotions guide my heated responses. And believe me - I still do these things, but now I realize when I'm doing them and know how to change it.
So how can YOU become more self aware? What can you do to really dig deep and pull out the realities of who you are are how to be the best version of yourself? Here are some quick tips if you are willing to do some work:
Identify Your Values & Identities
What is truly important to you? What are those values you hold so dear and will not compromise on? When you know what those are, you will start understanding why you might behave a certain way when those values feel they might be compromised.
And what Identities are ingrained in you that you also hold dearly to? Some of mine include: mom, working professional, honesty advocate, curly hair, smiling/laughing friend, woman, speaker/presenter, facilitator, etc. If I ever feel as if any of those are being attacked, questioned, or criticized, you can bet that I'm going to defend that part of my identity... and probably not behave in an ideal manner.
Realizing why you might be protecting something dear to you is a key piece of self understanding.
Take an Everything DiSC Assessment
After working with the Everything DiSC assessment for over 4 years with more than 500 people, I have witnessed amazing personal realizations and communication shifts between both partners & coworkers. It's extremely accurate, simple yet not simplistic, and provides you with immediate suggestions and strategies for working with people of different style tendencies.
Everything DiSC has helped me immensely in my marriage, friendships, and working relationships. Just ask my hubby! Contact me or comment below and I'll make sure we talk about how you can take it ASAP.
Map out Your Circle of Influence or 'Control' Lists
Many of us spend time focused on things that are out of our control or out of our "Circle of Influence" (Stephen Covey term), and we waste precious energy. Take a minute to list the things that you are stressed about. Next - cross off anything that you have NO control over... and then choose to stop throwing your energy at them. I used to stress daily about my 2 year old's tantrums, the traffic on my commute, or the direction my old company's leader was taking. EVERY SINGLE ONE of those things is out of my control or my circle of influence. I cannot change their outcomes, although I can shift my attitude and reactions to them.
That is where I need to focus my energy - on ME, not the uncontrollable situation.
Once you stop throwing your energy down a black hole of "non-influence", you will have more energy to spend on those things you really can and should control - your attitudes, thoughts, and behavior.
And believe me, it will make a difference on your family, your work, and your overall degree of happiness.