Real Klassy: Juvenile Attacks on Idol's Easy Targets

To be perfectly clear, I am in no way saying that American Idol is a blameless, holy creature that should be immune to criticism and jokes at its expense. Anyone involved in the show can easily provide fodder for days, only to refresh their invitation the following week. And if I'm wrong in my following assessment, I apologize ahead of time and stand corrected.

But I have a serious beef with "comedy writer" Ken Levine this week. In two short paragraphs, he knocked Carly Smithson's heavily tattooed husband and David Archuleta's sexuality, clearly taking cues from bone-headed high school jocks who can't handle someone who doesn't fit their mold. But that is the cheapest form of comedy, isn't it?

First, Carly Smithson:

I loved Carly Smithson's version of Jesus Christ Superstar. The key to her staying in the competition is not letting her scary tattooed-covered skinhead husband get on camera. Remember, the kids are voting for American Idol not American Psycho.

Two out of three sentences don't even discuss Smithson's performance. Instead, Levine, who cannot stop talking about her having tattoos, decided to insult someone who isn't even competing on the show. Because apparently, Carly has a dreadful singing voice. Oh, wait, she doesn't. She's actually quite a good singer. But Levine has been mocking her week after week, even calling her ink "scary," which I would have to think qualifies Mr. Levine to be named "Wuss of the Year."

Why am I so offended? Well, I happen to sport a growing collection of tattoos myself. Fifteen at the moment, to be exact. Are people offended by them? Not particularly, but then again, mine are mostly flowers and birds and little girly things, tributes to my family, really horrifying stuff like that. So my family must be a bunch of drunken bikers, or gang members or, heavens to betsy, hardened criminals to have tolerated my ink for all these years. Levine seems to be echoing the sentiments of the more narrow-minded demographic of American Idol, the people who vote based on how pretty, safe or pure a person might be (read: hum-drum), despite their blatant lack of charisma and/or singing ability. Like the people who inexplicably voted for Kristy Lee Cook this whole season and past contestants like Carmen Rasmussen, John Stephens and Jon Peter Lewis. And to single out one distinguishing feature on someone every week as if it made them a freak show and less of a formidable contestant than someone who happens to be unadorned seems to be a pretty counterintuitive thing to say on what I've always perceived as a progressive blog.

Maybe it hadn't occurred to Mr. Levine that in 2008, a lot of musicians have tattoos. A lot of creative people have tattoos. A lot of people in general have tattoos. Some people hide them, some people flaunt them, but we really don't care if you like them or not. But we sure as hell don't knock those without ink for not having any. If you don't like tattoos, don't get one. In the meantime, I have mistletoe tattooed on my ass for you to consider.

But what really chapped my "scary" ass was this, on David Archuleta:

David Archuleta sang "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera, making it his own -- and by that I mean turning it into Beauty and the Beast. It's a song normally sung by a woman but we may find out in ten years that it was.

Call me crazy (and according to Ken Levine, I would have to be, what with all my ink and his tender sensibility), but I'm pretty sure this was a really cheap, bad gay joke. (Technically, a transgender joke.) With a teenage kid as the target. A teenage kid who has been singing since he was much younger. So he's probably never had to deal with someone calling him gay, huh, Levine? You're probably the first one to make a gay joke about a teenage guy singing Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very original. So, I guess either you thought this was a good line or you figured he's probably heard it all before and has learned to tune bigoted shit like that out.

Yes, both contestants are on a very public television show, and yes, they're trying to break into a competitive industry that will subject them to every imaginable criticism. But I tend to think about the younger part of the American Idol audience, kids who probably make jokes about others in school, probably even the nastiest jokes ever, to cover their own insecurity. But those kids who feel out of whack in their own skin and dread going to school every day, then watch a show that lets them escape and even aspire to express themselves and their talents, don't need adults with blogs echoing the hurtful things they're hearing from their fellow students.

And yes, I was a nerd in school. And yes, that is the second time I have used the phrase "tender sensibility" in two weeks.

Comments

[mellene]

American Idol, unfortunately should be about who could be a perforing artist and make money doing so. Too many of the finalists have gone down to oblivion while good singers like Chris Daughtry and Carly have been voted off. If it is true that the Christian is dominating the results of this program, I'm afraid that the show will loose more and more of it's audience.

[markdad54]

You poor misguided girl. What is the point of 15 tattoos? Have you been to a community pool and seen what they will look like when you are 50? Gross. You need to start thinking about the permanence of these things; and, I assume that you know that the pool of potential mates (male and female) will be limited by the fact you have ugly tattoos (and don't tell me they are art, because its a load of crap. I have never seen a tattoo I would want displayed on the wall of my home for more than 30 seconds). Recent research shows that people distrust persons who have tattoo's, even if they have one themselves! What does that tell you.

[martinchill]

i can't help but notice what else passes for respectable around here...

Natalie Portman Gets Peed On

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Miley Cyrus Bra-Flashing Pictures Hit Web (PHOTOS)

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Julia Roberts Tells Oprah: I Don't Wear Deodorant

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Julianne Moore Dons Sheer Top For Vogue Paris

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and of course:

SLIDESHOW: Guess The Female Celebrity Tattoo Owners

* Quick Read |
* Comments

~~~

anyway... you were saying...

[AnnieWherebuthere]

Carly's husband IS scary-looking. That's part of her image. He's gonna help her carry the biker vote, just like McCain's wife. You'd think someone who owned a few decent tats would understand marketing. Sheesh.
As for gay-bashing - horse hockey. David A's at that age where the body does some wonderful things. Or not. Will he keep his magical voice? Or will his vocal chords grow hair? Stay tuned. He's 17, and most likely heard some nasty slurs in school already. HE made it to AI. They didn't, so neener on them. Besides, not sure how 'sung by a woman' becomes 'gay-bashing.' Most of the gays I know are pretty dang macho. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Metaphorically speaking, Ms. Frevele - perhaps your skin's too thin to properly sport a tat.

[auramac]

Aha, so the bimbo has an ever-growing collection of her own. Sorry, but I find the behavior, this act of self-mutilation (no matter how cute or pretty your birdies, hearts, and flowers are) absolutely idiotic and disgusting. I'll be happy not to see Carly's arm or her husband's face on my TV screen. They may as well be burn victims or lepers. Imagine Michelangelo, da Vinci, even Reubens' reaction to this asinine defacing. The Mona Lisa with a nose ring and an oh-so-cute tat on her neck. I of all people resent conformity, or as Dylan sang, "Everybody wants you to be just like them." I don't want you to see like me, feel like me, be like me. Just get outta my sight- it breaks my heart to see what you've done to yourself. I'm puzzled, too.. how did this happen? How Does it happen?!?...

[brend]

Jason was the one who needed to be cut, just terrible the whole season, and next Archiletta, awful.

[Charity]

pssst, jamie? ken levine has more comedy writing credits and awards than you could ever dream of having. indeed, you most likely grew up watching and laughing at many of his TV shows without knowing ken levine had a hand it in.

he writes these bits down for his blog which are then posted here at huffpost. some are hits, some are misses (just like with all column/blog type writing) given the journal aspect and immediacy of it all.

that you took so much of what he said seriously and personally means you don't have much of a sense of humor or of the absurd.

how disappointing. and i thought people who liked to paint their bodies with permanent ink, to the extreme such as carly smithson's man does, surely must have a grasp on humor and the absurd, because as the years go by, you're going to need it.

[robotfog]

I agree. Maybe Levine should keep his mouth shut on the 25th which is the upcoming Day of Silence.

P.s.
Please don't talk about the tattoo on your ass. I've never met you, but it's all I can see now. heh

[DCDan]

Good call on David A. and the thinly veiled gay-bashing. Totally inappropriate as directed at a 17-year-old (and also, not funny; not even "funny").

Wrong, however, on Carly. Specifically, Carly's husband. If you're not careful -- and you let your entire identity become wrapped up in your personal vanity art -- your 12 tattoos could multiply into covering your entire body, including your face, like that disgusting cretin. Personally, I would like to see Carly eliminated asap just to get her hideously self-deformed husband off my TV screen. It's vile and disgusting, and not to mention, not a good example for the kiddies watching in prime time.