iOS app Android app

Jamie Greenebaum
GET UPDATES FROM Jamie Greenebaum
Jamie Menczer Greenebaum is a blogger and recently lost her husband of 42 years to cancer. She has an equine marketing business called g2partners-equine as well as jewelry websites, Jamies Horse Jewelry and Jamies Animal Jewelry. She shares her life with two cats and two horses.

Entries by Jamie Greenebaum

Moving into a World of Stark Contrasts After the Death of My Husband

(0) Comments | Posted August 27, 2014 | 12:34 PM

I am trying to sort out my feelings. Trying to find the words. How do I describe or explain what I have been going through? The highs have been amazing. I can be "out there." But the lows mirror the highs with their intensity. I'm moving into a world of...

Read Post

Rebirthing After the Death of My Husband

(1) Comments | Posted August 13, 2014 | 11:35 AM

A friend and fellow widow says, "I lost two people that day -- my wonderful husband and friend, as well as the 'me" who I knew at that time..."

I have to agree. And I find rebirthing to be excruciating. I am consciously participating in its unfolding. That is part...

Read Post

Dreaming to Action and Letting Go of Pieces of the Past

(0) Comments | Posted July 22, 2014 | 2:56 PM

I had a dream last night. It involved lots of people and activity and I only remember the end. I am handcuffed (watching too many cop shows perhaps) with another person. Actually, our arms are wrapped around ourselves. Striking image. Stifling. Stuck. And the reason for the handcuffs and wrapping...

Read Post

Countdown to the First Anniversary of My Husband's Death

(0) Comments | Posted July 12, 2014 | 8:12 AM

Time keeps marching on -- relentlessly. Passed nine months, and it's halfway to ten months. I feel like I am in a Space Shuttle launch countdown sequence. Inevitable, inescapable, unavoidable, no turning back. At any moment the solid rocket boosters will fire up.

But wait a moment. Maybe they already...

Read Post

Why The Airport Brought Memories Of My Late Husband Rushing Back

(0) Comments | Posted July 10, 2014 | 7:00 AM

I am sitting at JFK. It has been a very long day that started in South Carolina. It is very late at night. Flight home -- I made it while in the frugal mode -- is not direct. I am slowly learning that there are all sorts of triggers just...

Read Post

Love Letters From the Past, or Present or Future

(0) Comments | Posted June 25, 2014 | 1:33 PM

Last week, I got thinking about all the boxes and bins that I have been avoiding. I set up a specific goal for myself, the only way I could even contemplate beginning to deal with them: Go through one box per day. Not every day. But only one box. No...

Read Post

Losing a Spouse to Cancer

(0) Comments | Posted May 26, 2014 | 3:24 PM

Driving to visit the horses yesterday, I passed banners and flags and chairs set up along the roadway. Oh right, I remember -- Memorial Day. The official designation is to honor the men and women who have died while in the military service.

What about the "war" on cancer? Our...

Read Post

Venting My Grief Can Be So Satisfying

(0) Comments | Posted May 5, 2014 | 11:46 AM

Venting is oh-so-satisfying. I get it out of my system and feel cleansed, refreshed, ready to face the next challenge. I know who is reading my blog. I really do. It is those who love me. And those who need to read it. Those who connect with my pain and...

Read Post

Life in a Bubble With Pain and Grief

(0) Comments | Posted April 14, 2014 | 7:14 PM

A rant. Blogging -- who the hell am I writing to? Blogs are posted online, and then what? You think your friends are reading them. As a way of keeping in touch with you and understanding what you are going through. But my friends are not reading my blog. I...

Read Post

The Reality of Grief

(0) Comments | Posted April 9, 2014 | 11:44 AM

Reality: I have been hitting it hard. And thinking about it in those terms -- the reality of the situation.

Reality: I think that is part of the reason I have been able to incorporate some of Rob's things into MY life. It is not a matter of worrying what...

Read Post

I Can Find Myself Whole in the Dimension of Grief

(0) Comments | Posted March 31, 2014 | 1:46 PM

"You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone!"

I am on a flight back home from California. Experiencing a bit of turbulence and the pilot has everyone, including...

Read Post

Newton's Third Law of Grieving

(0) Comments | Posted February 24, 2014 | 2:54 PM

Newton's Third Law states, "for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction." Once upon a time, I felt whole and complete, and I suppose in control. That was then. Now, I feel fractured, scattered, shattered. Any hope of control is an illusion.

The feeling of being OK is...

Read Post

A Reprieve From Grieving the Death of My Husband

(0) Comments | Posted February 21, 2014 | 11:10 AM

I took a trip -- four whole days away from my daily life. It was a big deal; flying, renting a car and driving two hours by myself to meet up with "virtual" friends. I have lots of "virtual" friends, people I've met online or only know from the phone....

Read Post

I Do Not Need Fixing. I'm Just Grieving the Death of My Husband.

(0) Comments | Posted February 1, 2014 | 7:27 AM

I had to see my primary care physician because I now have a new one. My doctor of over 30 years left to set up a concierge practice two years ago. His replacement lasted little more than a year and now I am on Doc #3.

All I needed was...

Read Post

Freedom Is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be Now That I'm A Widow

(2) Comments | Posted January 29, 2014 | 5:32 AM

This past weekend was jam packed, again, still. A combination of my need to keep busy and the freedom to actually be able to get out. But obviously that freedom comes at a high price.

All the usual running around I have been doing has not been that far afield....

Read Post

Overwhelming Grief After the Death of My Husband -- Unexpected Life Preserver

(1) Comments | Posted January 27, 2014 | 10:41 AM

Every time I think there is some hope for a break in the grief, I run into a wall. Today is the four-month anniversary of my husband's death. And the grief feels as overwhelming as the first moment. I want to just walk around screaming his name. And Where are...

Read Post

How Many People Does it Take to Fill the Hole in My Heart After My Husband Dies?

(0) Comments | Posted January 2, 2014 | 12:28 PM

I have taken the warnings about the holidays being a difficult time after the death of my husband. There are too many notable events that are firsts. Too many thoughts that start, Last year at this time we were... As a consequence, I make plans and accept invitations. Anyone who...

Read Post

Grief, Tears, Laughter -- Beginning Life After The Death Of My Husband

(0) Comments | Posted December 12, 2013 | 5:45 AM

After two exhaustive rounds of chemotherapy over a couple of years, Robert, my husband of 42 years, could just not ever get warm. The heat was set up high, there were heaters in every room and we got an electric blanket for the bed.

I was walking around in...

Read Post

How Does Anyone Know I'm Grieving the Death of My Husband? Widows Used to Wear Black

(10) Comments | Posted December 9, 2013 | 1:36 PM

I know the world does not stop when someone dies. It didn't stop when my husband of 42 years died 10 weeks ago. Though it certainly should have. Life goes on as usual for everyone else. I am in the world with them and try and understand how they could...

Read Post

Grief, Tears, Laughter: First Thanksgiving After the Death of My Husband

(2) Comments | Posted November 27, 2013 | 2:34 PM

Every way I turn, people and articles are warning me about the holidays. Is this the first Thanksgiving I will be experiencing -- celebrating? living through? -- alone, since my husband Robert died two months ago after a two-year battle with cancer.

To forewarn myself, I have been trying to...

Read Post