Who's Coke Rewards?

I'm no Cokehead. I allow myself no more than two Diet Cokes per day (Diets mixed with Jack Daniels do not count). But I do drink a lot of Coca-Cola company products; specifically, Diet Sprite and Diet Barq's Root Beer (Don't knock it till you try it. As my friend Tedd said, "That stuff will change your life!")

I only drink cans, since I'm still haunted by the vision of condensation inside soda bottles under my parents' sink. "Whaddaya mean it's gone bad? Soda can't go bad!" In mid 2007, I noticed a promotion advertised on a 12-pack: My Coke Rewards. It's like frequent flier miles for soda!

I signed up the instant I got home. I determined it wasn't fair for me to submit codes for sodas not yet drunk; that would be cheating. I projected my weekly consumption to be 10 DC, 14 DS and 14 DRB.

With each 12-pack earning me 10 points...I wasn't exactly drinking the equivalent of flying to Tokyo twice a month. Thanks to my inability to do math, though, I failed to realize the astronomical amount of points required to redeem anything of value. I'll have a set of new iPod speakers in no time!

Yesterday, I received an email from My Coke Rewards. Normally, I delete these missives without reading, since they only tout items undeserving of my hard earned Coke Cash. But this time was different. Maybe it was the pile of cardboard box tops cluttering my fridge. Maybe it was the constant mocking of my dream by friends and family. Or maybe it was the fact that I finally figured out Michael Phelps will be winning gold medals in London before I get my iPod speakers. For whatever reason, I opened the message.

The email offered a deal on a Coke t-shirt for 760 points. I had 727.

"If you're looking for stylish comfort, try this tee on for size. This vibrant red tee features a Coca Cola logo on the front. It's destined to become a classic."

First of all, who isn't looking for stylish comfort? Secondly, if it's destined to become a classic, then I want to get in now, right?

Alas, I didn't have enough points. I thought of the four 12-packs of Diet Sprite and Diet Barq's I had purchased earlier that day. I stood up. NO! IT'S CHEATING! I sat down. TO HELL WITH ME AND MY STUPID ETHICS!

As I ripped the codes off their boxes, I felt an exhilaration race through my body. Why hadn't I done this before????

Breathlessly, I entered the codes. This can be tricky, as it's hard to tell the "U" from the "V" and the "0" from the "O", but I nailed it. A perfect 10.

I quickly clicked "yes", I did, in fact, want to redeem 760 of my - now - 767 points for the red t-shirt. When the site asked me to confirm my address, a disturbing sentence shattered my revelry.

"My Coke Rewards does not support military addresses."

When I was an Army officer stationed in Japan in the mid-90s, we couldn't get delivery from a lot of retailers. I never figured out exactly why, but I believe it had something to do with their inability to guarantee delivery. This didn't make sense to me, though since the process (and postage) is the same as mailing something in the U.S. - the sender simply mails the letter or package to a central location from where the military ships it, at no cost to the sender, wherever service members are stationed overseas.

But that was 15 years ago. I mean, technology has to have improved enough to remedy any issues retailers had.

At the very least, companies should provide shipping to men and women serving in Afghanistan and Iraq.

But My Coke Rewards does not support military addresses.

I guess that means My Coke Rewards supports the terrorists, then!!! I mean, service members risk their lives to defend the Coca Cola Company's right to sell them Coke, but they can't cash in points they earned for a freaking red tee shirt????

Puh-lease. I need a drink. Jack and Diet Pepsi sounds good.

Comments

[cigardener]

I've been entering Coke points for a year now but I don't drink much Coke. I get the points by walking around finding them on the ground and in dumpsters. I don't have any ethical issue with redeeming points that I didn't pay for; I pocket any cash that find--even pennies--and that is not discarded on purpose. I return anything of value that can be connected to an owner--four cell phones so far. For further karmic insurance, I pick up any bottles that have the cap that I want still on them and discard them in the next dumpster. I've never redeemed points for merchandise; I keep trying for the $5000 gift card from Best Buy. I also do the Pepsi points and use those for MP3s. At Pepsi you can get an MP3 for 5 points/caps; Coke charges 33 points/11 caps. Yeah--pricey. I recently won a $100 gift card on a cap from a bottle of Sprite Zero. Ironically, I paid for that one.

[jfoxx]

Very funny read. My philosophy is you get rewarded for PURCHASING, not drinking. So I feel you are still well within your ethical bounds to have entered your codes early.
I cashed mine in once during the World Cup, for a stylish Mexico team hat. I'm not sure if it was designed to be a classic. Now i'm saving up for something big. Probably what will happen is I'll keep them banked just long enough for Coke to tank the program.
Oh and by the way, not to knock your code-entering skills, but I've found that MCR views "0" and "O" as the same character to avoid mistakes.