In another desperate attempt to remain relevant Donald Trump teased for days an "October Surprise" about President Barack Obama, citing on his Twitter page that this "announcement" was "not a media event or about Donald J. Trump -- this is about the United States of America."
Turns out his story was every bit about Donald J. Trump.
In a video posted on YouTube our resident blowhard implored Obama to release his college applications as well as his passport application. To sweeten the deal he said he would immediately donate $5 million to a charity of Obama's choosing if the documents were determined to be legitimate.
So basically Trump has to blackmail someone in order to donate $5 million to a worthy charity. His classiness never ceases to amaze me.
Even if this were a tempting offer for Obama, I don't know anyone who still has their college applications. You turn those in. The colleges you apply to look at them and then probably dispose of them after deciding whether or not to admit you. I also don't know anyone who has copies of their passport application. You turn that in and the process is out of your hands. Why would a young man ever think to make copies of such things and why would such things even be remotely relevant?
They aren't. However, since the whole birther thing is played out, Trump needed something to get his name back out there, and for that he succeeded, even if it is because a bunch of people (like myself) are giving him grief and rolling our eyes, we're still talking about him. As the old saying goes, the only bad publicity is no publicity.
I won't waste all of my time on Trump, however. There was another "October Surprise" that was speculated to rear its head today thanks to the likes of Gloria Allred, who, for full disclosure, is an Obama supporter.
Allred is another one of those who, like Trump, cannot stand being out of the spotlight for long. I admittedly do not find her as obnoxious as Trump, but her ability to come out and try to profit on every "scandal" out there and use these scandals to boost her own fame is really rather unsettling and at times downright disgusting.
According to reports, Allred is helping a client get documents released in a decades-old divorce case involving Staples' founder Tom Stemberg, someone who Governor Mitt Romney is a close friend of. These reports say Romney allegedly provided false testimony to show Stemberg was broke in order to screw his soon to be ex-wife, Maureen, out of money.
Is this what our political process and October Surprises have come to? We're trying to get the candidates to unveil their college applications and pin them for something they said in a divorce hearing in the early '90s? Give me a break.
What should matter in this election are the policies of these two men and what they intend to do to get our economy back on track. Not how they filled out some college application and not what they may have said during a friends divorce.
If The Donald and Allred continue to want the spotlight can we at least put them together in a house for some ridiculous reality TV show with no redeeming value? At least then we can keep them in their own corner of the world and not have to pretend they hold some sort of relevance in the actual important stuff in our lives, like our political process and all.
Here's hoping after this nonsense today we can get back to the issues that matter. You know. Like binders full or women or horses and bayonets.
Follow Jamison Doran on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jamisondoran