Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC) Makes Full Apology

I want to tell y'all I am so sorry this happened over Father's Day.

I want to apologize to my wife.
What I fear is that she will not be running any more political campaigns for me.

I want to apologize to my boys.
Good daddies don't write emails to dear, dear friends in Argentina.

I want to apologize to good friends who have said, in the Southern version of Jay Leno's immortal words to Hugh Grant, "What the gosh darn were ya thinkin'?"

I want to apologize to my staff because I said that it was possible that I would be off hiking the Appalachian Trail, when I know full well that the Appalachian Trail does not run through Argentina.

I want to apologize to Patti Lupone for twisting the words to her very fine song, "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" to "I've Been Cryin' for Five Days in Argentina."

I want to apologize to everyone who lives on Republica de la India in the Palermo section of Buenos Aires for the unwanted attention you will be getting from the paparazzi.

I want to apologize for resigning the chairmanship of the Republican Governors' Association (RGA) because I need time to apologize to my beloved in-laws and every last town and person in South Carolina. As you well know, that takes time. The process takes time.

Most of all, I want to apologize for stepping down as Chair of the RGA. I had no idea that Haley Barbour of Mississippi (Mississippi!) would be replacing me.

I want to apologize to all the people of faith because I need them to forgive me if I'm gonna run for the Presidential nomination in 2012.

Lastly, most of all, I would like to ask your indulgence, I would like to ask your forgiveness, for using the expression "the whole sparkin' thing."

Follow Jane Condon on Twitter: www.twitter.com/janecondon

Comments

[NDeeZ]

Who's to say that the Appalachian Trail ends in Georgia, and doesn't run through Central America to Argentina?

I find it very U.S.-centric to think that--VERY provincial.

I'm guessing he'd be missing a lot longer than five days, tho'.

[LiarLiarIraqsOnFire]

I further apologize for refusing to accept Federal Stimulus money that could have covered the cost of my jet-setting affair, instead of burdening the fine tax-paying God-fearing citizens of South Carolina. Praise God and pass the crow.