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Jane Devin

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Please Don't Tell Me I'm Beautiful

Posted: 09/07/2012 4:30 pm

A 9-year-old girl with a face so swollen by fat that her features are indistinguishable comes home from school crying. She gets teased, other children call her names. Her mother's response is to tell her that she's beautiful, no matter what anyone else says.

A 23-year-old woman with a mouthful of damaged teeth is distraught because she can't afford to fix them and, in the prime of her life, she can't get a date and her job prospects are diminished. Her friends rally around her, telling her that people are shallow, one day she'll have the money and the right person won't care about her looks. Besides, they say, you're beautiful.

A brilliant 40-year-old political science professor, with thinning hair and a face ravaged by pockmarks, is consistently turned down for public speaking gigs that would elevate her career. She turns to her peers for advice. After reminding her about hair treatments and dermatologists (she's already tried both), they tell her to put the negativity out of her mind. "If they don't appreciate that you're smart and beautiful, it's their loss. They're the ones who are missing out."

I understand that we live in a culture where "beautiful" and "female" have a long and complicated relationship. I know that women want to comfort each other through the hurt of living in an air-brushed, surgically-enhanced, Top Model, Cover Girl society. I also know that the word "beautiful" can be used to describe the inner person and not just their looks. But I have to wonder if we're really doing ourselves more harm than good when we insist on giving beauty such a dominant space in the sphere of women's lives and conversations. Even in "acceptance" movements, beauty is a central theme.

Why is not okay to be un-beautiful? Why is it so painful to admit a lack of objective beauty where it may not, in any objective sense, exist?

I can tell you from over 35 years of first-hand experience, from when my face first got smashed with a baseball bat and my teeth were ruined, that it's a mind-f*ck to be told "you're beautiful" when nearly every single consequential, real-world factor tells you otherwise. I can assure you that when my ankle swelled to elephant size at 16 and when I was covered with head-to-toe psoriasis in my 20s and 30s, that the world outside did not find me "beautiful." I can tell you that I spent the prime of life celibate and alone; that jobs and promotions were hard to come by and that out of social necessity, I spent a ton of energy and more money than I had trying to downplay my physical unattractiveness, and there will still be women whose first instinct is to tell me that I'm beautiful. This insistence has always felt diminishing to the reality of my experiences. It has always felt like a special woman-to-woman lie -- a strictly feminine code that seeks to replace an unwanted truth with a pretty fiction.

Yet, when we of the unattractive class walk out into that great, big world we know better. Whether we are 9, 23 or 40, we know when we are not physically beautiful. We know when we are physically damaged. We know the real-life effects of our social disadvantage, and we know -- God, do we know -- that no amount of self or other-woman affirmations about "beauty" is going to change something that much of the world finds off-putting, unattractive or even repulsive. We may appreciate that our friends find "beauty" in us, but when those perceptions don't line up with the realities we face, it doesn't feel quite right. It doesn't feel understanding, empathetic or genuine, but like a belief we're goaded into because "beauty" is just so damn important -- at least to those who insist that without it, we just won't feel good about ourselves.

Why does the matriarchy feel so drawn to steeping itself in assurances of beauty? Not that I'm using men as a role model, but they don't tip-toe around the subject of physical attractiveness, stopping to console each other that their beer bellies, balding heads and scarred faces are really, truly beautiful. They don't insist on denying their realities or the realities of other men by promoting the concept that all men are "handsome" in their own way. Instead, they have come to take for granted a patriarchy where "handsome" may be a gift, but unattractiveness is really not that big of a deal.

I wish we'd get there. I suspect that when women quit focusing so much on beauty, theirs and other women's -- whether physical or in the broad sense of personality -- that we will be able to change our real-world consequences. We will be more truthful, more realistic, more effective and therefore more tangibly helpful to one another.

I learned to live with my un-beauty. In the absence of dates and career success, I developed and honed other qualities. I'm smart, well-read, charitable, passionate and empathetic. I'm not afraid to take risks. I'm strong, aware, emotionally accessible and interested in the world around me. I'm loyal to those I love and I'm willing to put up a good fight for causes I care about. This is enough for me. It has to be, because it is what I have to offer myself and others in the absence of prettiness, in the absence of beauty.

Instead of telling the distraught 9-year-old something that does not reflect the truth of her reality, I would encourage her to develop her own, unique talents and take pride in her accomplishments. I would teach her how to defend herself and how to seek out supportive people. I would help her in whatever concrete way I could, without caving into the emptiness of the beauty paradigm.

Instead of denying the realities of other women's consequences with throwaway bromides about beauty, I'd rather stand next to them and say, "Yes, we've got to change this. How can we take the focus off of beauty and direct it toward something more valuable?" If I wanted to point out their sterling qualities, I would use the most truthful adjectives -- one of the hundreds that might describe an admirable character -- like kind, loving, generous, intelligent, sensitive, compelling or fearless.

We're never going to make it okay to not be physically beautiful if we don't get off this beauty kick we've been on for so long. We're not going to change our futures and those of other women as long as "beautiful" remains a priority. We're not going to change the culture that places such an inordinately high premium on female attractiveness as long we keep promoting beauty myths through the lies we tell ourselves and each other.

 
 
 

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A 9-year-old girl with a face so swollen by fat that her features are indistinguishable comes home from school crying. She gets teased, other children call her names. Her mother's response is to tell ...
A 9-year-old girl with a face so swollen by fat that her features are indistinguishable comes home from school crying. She gets teased, other children call her names. Her mother's response is to tell ...
 
 
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12:12 AM on 09/13/2012
Teaching young girls to defend themselves and seek out supportive people--- yes please, more of this. I love this article and oh how I wish we were friends back in the day when I struggled surviving in the world of beauty and perfection (physical and academic) when sometimes I wanted both, sometimes neither. Mostly I wanted truth and the compliments of 'you're beautiful' during the times that I was not beautiful were ... a bit dismissive of my experience, but you word it much better in your essay.

I discovered that I had more to overcome than my appearance woes and am now (late 20s) developing some decent nearly dependable happiness now that I've focused on what I love - outwardly from myself - rather than what strangers love about me based on my outward appearance.

And yet, I am attracted to people that others find odd looking. I appreciate a Jon Hamm or Angelina Jolie but truly crush on the people that don't look like them. It's become more about taking care of one's health and hygiene and cultivating an inner happiness that counts. So I could tell someone they're beautiful and mean it and they won't believe it because the rest of the world calls them a dog.

Also one note about men: some men do struggle silently with not being handsome. Being short for instance or less than sturdy, being perceived as less manly is difficult for some.
03:05 AM on 09/11/2012
Nice article. Imagine if we tried to reassure every woman that she was a super fast runner despite any proof otherwise. It's laughable! I wonder if we'll ever get past the notion that women are primarily valuable for their looks first. Even when NPR was interviewing Madeleine Allbright, they spent 20% of the interview time on her feelings about not being conventionally attractive - mind you, this was cleary NOT her idea, and she said as much, but its as if they couldn't stop themselves.
01:27 AM on 09/11/2012
I'm OK w this article- but shouldn't people just work with what they have?

If you were celibate in your "prime" then your standards were too high lol. Go to a bar and have a few shots too many.

And for the "Don't tell me I'm beautiful" part, ehhhh double edged sword. If a gf asks if shes attractive its not like one should say "naw you're just kinda iffy in my book and really just the best I could do." You praise her and get on with life.

I broke up w one gf because she was always just a downer on herself- no fun to be with, and she was a strait up 9/10 too.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
01:54 PM on 09/10/2012
Blogger: Not that I'm using men as a role model...

---

Actually, that's exactly what you're doing. So why deny it?
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Jane Devin
Culture Critic, Essayist, Author
11:30 PM on 09/16/2012
I like that men don't over-focus on their own and other men's beauty, but I don't like that they can be rather callous toward each other, even under the umbrella of humor. So no, I don't see them as role models in the context of this subject, although I believe there's at least one way that they get it right.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
01:26 PM on 09/17/2012
You: I like that men don't over-focus on their own and other men's beauty, but I don't like that they can be rather callous toward each other, even under the umbrella of humor.

---

Ashley Judd wrote a very good blog here on Huffpo a few months back. She said that women are the worst enemies of other women, and she's right. Another HuffPo blogged talked about the fact that 25% of women deliberately post unflattering pics of their "friends" on their Facebook page.

No one ever says men are the worst enemies of other men. Men kid around with their friends - but it's openhanded and open hearted. It's not full of passive-aggression, jealousy, cattiness and supressed rage.

---

You: So no, I don't see them as role models in the context of this subject, although I believe there's at least one way that they get it right.”

---

At least one, eh? How generous of you!
viciousvirago
Veritatum Dilexi
11:34 AM on 09/10/2012
I have a problem that many models have. I was told I was beautiful since age l2 and started modeling at l6 thru about 23 when I started med school.

I actually would get mad at all the men and women who told me 'you are so beautiful'. Why? Because it seemed to me that I had something else going: a l69 i.q. and a career as a trauma surgeon, eventually.

Beauty can be a drawback, believe me. It is better to look average and work with it.

At nearly 60, I've still retained most of my looks but gravity has taken its toll and I refuse to get surgery to fix my 'problems'. It's called getting old. I refuse to dye my hair, get Botox, or get the multiple surgeries that has made Janice Dickinson into a Frankenstein wannabe.

Is it hard getting old and wrinkly and saggy? Yes, for me it is. I admit that I'm vain, but I'm also realistic. My organs will be 60, so why should my face look 40?
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maoticamison
09:29 AM on 09/10/2012
A cliche..."Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...", like many other cliches, contains the succinct wisdom of thousands of years of human existence.Someone observing anyone or anything for a fleeting moment may and in fact will see less than someone who spends twenty years in observance of the same person or thing.
However, a lack of time often confines us to snap judgements which of course are often wrong.That "beauty" may in fact over time be a beast...or not.But we use the visuals as guides to assist in our decisions, to save time...to flatter ourselves for the ability to "flock" together, or to feel good because of our "kindness" of the little lie..
In this culture, honesty is sometimes frowned upon and labeled insensitivity or even cruelty.Of course bullies can be honest but I think the focus there is on the desire to belittle.To be able to talk with a person without hiding yourself and without running them off can be enlightening for both parties.Maybe we should value honesty more than we do.And grow tougher skins because everyone of us, if observed more than casually, will draw some negative comments.And hopefully some positive comments.We will, on an individual basis, choose which to feed into.
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02:32 AM on 09/10/2012
Here goes: There is strength in not belonging. In being an outsider you are forced into a position to empower and redefine yourself in your own way, and in doing this you forge something that is untouchable: people don't know where the kink in your armor is. I'm a black woman. In spite of the diversity in beauty in the past few years, by and large, my ethnic culture's standard of beauty has never been the prevailing one. And the current standard is odd, because it promotes surgery to get fuller lips, breasts and hips, and extensions to get longer hair, with the differences being in shades of skin, really. It still isn't a diverse beauty, really, but I knew at a young age, and really knew it in my late teens with pyroderma lesions on both legs, that I was just going to have to accept and love whatever I had. In all 3 of the scenarios you presented above, outsiders and minority cultures are likely to have experiences like it. All I know to tell you is that I've learned to redefine a good part of my reality by different standards than what the world approves of - and whether or not I'm told I'm beautiful is a neutral occurrence because I've made peace with myself. This peace is what you've described above - maybe you're already a force, Jane. If so, raise Hell.
01:34 AM on 09/10/2012
Excellent, excellent article. I have a question. My spouse of ten years tells me very often that I am pretty. I am grateful and I feel his consistent compliments have helped me grow to accept and appreciate my appearance. I am not COMPLAINING, but, as your article illustrates, I feel/would LIKE to feel that this particular trait (appearance) is not my most important positive trait. Honestly, I would rather hear other compliments, like that I am a good mother! Or intelligent. I feel ungrateful even typing this. We have daughters and they are listening too. Do I tell my spouse to stop saying that, or what?
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12:14 AM on 09/10/2012
"Why is not okay to be un-beautiful? Why is it so painful to admit a lack of objective beauty where it may not, in any objective sense, exist?"

Well, who are you (or anybody else) to define what is NOT beautiful? No, there is nothing wrong with not being the person that society expects you to be, but it does not make you "un-beautiful." Talking about reality: I'm a biracial woman who largely lives and works in white society. I don't date white men, no random white person tells me I'm beautiful, and I may not get that promotion because I wear my hair in a "ethinc" style, thus not being "attractive". However, when I visit my mother, who lives in a largely black community, I'm stopped on the street by random people who want to tell me how beautiful I am. My point is that "reality" is not always right. There was a time when "reality" thought it was normal for everyone to own a slave, it doesn't mean it was right though. Just because someone does not call you beautiful does not mean that it is true. Beauty can be MANY things in the internal AND external sense. You put WAY too much importance on what strangers think; they do NOT define who you are and how you look.
05:20 AM on 09/10/2012
Yeah, you can't really compare your case to hers.

Having your face marked by a baseball bat (disease, or something similar) is not attractive in any culture.
Someone in that circumstance can't just go to a place where the view of beauty is different.
09:13 PM on 09/09/2012
I do believe that if a woman has self-confidence and emotionally strong then opposite sex will find her attractive. She may not be "labeled" as beautiful but she'lll be seen as an individual with strong appeal, and people will be drawn to her not because of her looks but the way she carry herself and her overall attitude about life.
01:28 AM on 09/11/2012
/agree big time. Its all how someone wears themselves- confidence.
03:16 AM on 09/11/2012
But the sense of confidence stems from something to begin with. If you're self-conscious of your skin due to disease, baseball bats, or whatever, that's going to affect how you view yourself, which will eventually affect self-confidence. I think the problem is not necessarily being told beautiful, but that being told one is beautiful doesn't always translate over to feeling beautiful.
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Carmen Madonna Campos
dude! it's me!!!
07:25 PM on 09/09/2012
i would much rather hear, "Carmen, you're brilliant," than anything else.

oh wait.....i think i prefer "Carmen, you are right!"

yeah, keep the beauty compliment for Barbie, thank you very much.
12:00 PM on 09/09/2012
The 9-year old girl = Why is the mother feeding her so much that her fat is essentially eating her face? Getting teased at school is the least of her concerns.

The 23-year-old woman = If America had some sort of public healthcare system, having damaged teeth wouldn't be a problem since she could have them fixed by a dentist.

The 40-year-old political science professor = Would this really be a problem? Stephen Hawking has managed a glittering career. I doubt many people would choose someone else over him merely for aesthetic reasons.
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Jane Devin
Culture Critic, Essayist, Author
04:37 PM on 09/09/2012
All examples are from real life. For the 9 year old, the teasing is her main concern. Repeat, she's 9. And yes, her mother and father helped make her fat, and it's also a predisposed genetic tendency, but no, the parents aren't likely to change. Yes, lots of people have talked to them. It will probably be in her teens that the child does what many overweight teens do, which is try to shed a lifetime of habits.

The 23 year old doesn't had dental insurance. The max payout was $1000/year and didn't include restorative work. Public health insurance wouldn't cover it, either. The estimate to get her teeth fixed was $30,000 dollars.

The 40 year-old does not have Stephen Hawkings prestige or genius. Although she's brighter than average, her career won't take off until she gets out of the ivory tower and becomes more of a public figure. Unfortunately, particularly for women, looks do matter and she has been passed over for many opportunities that she later learned were given to younger, less bright, better looking colleagues.
05:58 AM on 09/10/2012
All the examples may be from real life, but issues of what is beautiful and what isn't are not the real problems in each regard.
01:30 AM on 09/11/2012
Predisposed genetic tendency simply means she was fed too much and her parents never encouraged activeness or put value in physical activity.

I'm perfectly fine with people making excuses, but as someone in the fitness industry I feel its just more of an idea they get in their heads to not put in a little effort.
06:28 PM on 09/09/2012
I think this is a really simplistic answer to the question that she poses. America's health care system is kind of irrelevant to the argument, and in answer to your answer to the 40 year old professor: this whole article revolved around women! The argument she is making is that WOMEN deal way more with the concept of "beauty" and problems that stem from it. You cannot draw a comparison between Stephen Hawking (who is also one of the most brilliant minds alive and has made SIGNIFICANT contributions to science and is not just a professor) and a woman because we are discussing how the concept of beauty effects WOMEN.
05:58 AM on 09/10/2012
The point of my post is that I reject the notion that beauty is the cause of the problem in each regard.
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smeeeee
Now take your nice red pill
05:12 AM on 09/09/2012
I have to agree. In fact men not only don't tiptoe around each other, they'll totally take the mick out of each other for being paunchy or bald or whatever. In fact they'll take the mick out of a guy for being handsome. They know where masculine power really sits. I wish that we could focus more on feminine power and less on looks. Feminism with the best of intentions somehow failed us there, and I don't even know what it would look like to do that.
02:16 AM on 09/09/2012
Sometimes people tell me I'm beautiful, and I can see they are sincere. It's unsettling when it's sincere. I feel uncomfortably exposed and hyper-aware of being looked at and judged, even if favorably. But if the person means it, I also get that glowy sensation. I feel beautiful and I feel a lot of love for the person who makes me feel that way. It's good when you mean it, especially to someone who doesn't hear it very often.

When people say it just to make you feel better, or in other words they are insincere, I wonder why they would go to the trouble to tell such a sad lie. It's unsettling when it's insincere. I don't think the word "beautiful" should ever be used insincerely. It never does any good unless you mean it.
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Seafarer61
I am the one and done. A drive-thru truth teller.
01:42 AM on 09/09/2012
The secret to a fulfilling relationship isn't finding the perfect mate. It's finding someone who thinks YOU'RE perfect.
01:31 AM on 09/11/2012
I feel like such a girl agreeing with this but so true.