When I first considered watching and doing a post on Gossip Girl, the latest show from OC creator Josh Schwartz, I had to do some serious soul-searching. What do I, a long-in-the-tooth, down-at-the-heel blogger from Brooklyn, have in common with deviant, rich young things from (I'm presuming) the Upper East Side? Even when I was in high school, I distinguished myself not for being cool or drinking martinis or (ha!) being a femme fatal, but was instead a member of the Latin Club (and the only one who cried during Spartacus, which I never lived down!). So, I thought it might be a little hard to relate to the champers-swilling couture-bedecked mini-beasts of Gossip Girl.
As a New Yorker, I did hope that the New York City setting combined with stunning riches would at least produce some real estate-porn-worthy apartments, but that was not to be. I lured some friends over to my own NYC abode -- which is a hovel -- under false pretenses (that we were watching Top Chef), gave them some beer and made them watch. I was hoping to post some reactions, but most of the their responses to Gossip Girl were groans of agony.
Gossip Girl starts with the return of the beautiful Serena, the school's most popular girl who disappeared to go to boarding school -- under mysterious circumstances. Why did she go? Why did she return? Well, I'll tell you. Apparently she left because she had sex with her best friend's boyfriend. Champagne-soaked, amazing, non-fumbling non-horrific sex! Ah, don't you remember that from high school? No? Anyone?
Anyway, she's returned because her brother attempted suicide. All of this is a secret, of course! The only one who knows about her tryst with Nate is the resident sleaze named Chuck. Chuck wears pocket squares (swank! How very Dana Vachon!) and oozes all over the screen. Blair, Serena's ex-best friend, finds out only at the end of the episode that Serena and Nate slept together. This bit of knowledge redoubles her determination to put a social hit on Serena. The total cruelty of high-school girls is one thing that really rings true on this show. It's like someone gives them a copy of The Prince in sixth grade. I remember it well.
Anyway, more back stories! My little brain is throbbing!
There's also our East Coast Seth Cohen, some fellow named Dan, who is the child of a "bohemian." They live in some huge lofty apartment in a fancy Brooklyn area -- which, by the way, you have to be rich to do. Cool Dad is a painter or something. He wears leather jackets, a dumb necklace and was in a band in the '90s. Apparently he also had something with Serena's stiff mom, who WINK WINK, was a little more limber back in the days. I could do without any Parent Time on this show.
All of this action is narrated by the most annoying person on the show, some blogger named Gossip Girl. Bloggers, don't you hate them? I do.
Gossip Girl's website is breathlessly read by all of the fancy kids, who update Gossip Girl on Serena's movements via cell phone. Technology! Gossip Girl implores, "Send me all the deets!" Gossip Girl also calls Serena and Blair "hotties." Later in the show, Chuck of the Pocket Square of Evil -- who wears sleazy suits for absolutely no other reason than to sleaze to-and-fro in and owns a hotel and seems exactly like Oliver from The OC and who attempts to date rape not one but TWO girls -- exhorts his friend to "Tap that ass." We all groan: I'm 27 and even I know that nobody says that anymore. Do they have Methuselah in there writing these lines? Some SAG member from 1949?
I agreed with my co-watchers that if we DO watch next week, we'll drink tequila every time someone says Serena's full name, "Serena van der Woodsen," which provoked bellows of laughter and which happens way too much, e.g., "Well well, if it isn't Serena van der Woodsen!"
If Gossip Girl would commit itself to being an entirely guilty pleasure, filled with real estate, clothing and absolutely no parents, I might tune in even without the tequila. Until then, bring on the limes.
The only thing worth a crap I have ever seen on the CW is the Daily Buzz and that's not even a CW show.It just tends to get picked up by CW affiliates.
There is nothing to root for on this show. It was all too cringe-worthy. These characters have no redeeming value. Veronica Mars was EONS better.
Rome burns while we not only create crap, but also watch and debate its merits.
Lighten up; even the slaves danced to relieve the pain.
I know, she should be so ashamed!
My daughter asked me if it's legal for teens to drink in NY.
WE definitely will not be embracing this show. They need to make it clear that it is not a show for teens. The reality crap on MTV has less underage drinking and sex than this show.
I like her but she is way tooooo mature to be in high school.
Otherwise, I live on the UES, and put my daughter into the progressive coed no-uniform, fewer rich brats school.
The only positive aspect was Kristen Bell's narration. Fortunately for her, she's not actually in the show.