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Jane McGivney

Jane McGivney

Posted: November 26, 2007 10:36 AM

Make It Work: The Knitwear of Despair


This week we have it all: spittle, Sarah Jessica Parker and buckets of tears. What more could I ask for?

We start of with the usual Bravo Reality TV opening of the contestants standing around the kitchen, saying how they were sorry to see the last person (Simone) go. Everyone is also getting in a few digs at our Space Cadet, Elisa. It's hard for me to relish this display of cattiness because I'm agog at Ricky's horrible hat. Ricky continues to sport horrible hats. It's like a little car-wreck is happening on top of his head. He might as well wear a slice of pie. Or a live animal. It's like Malarkey from Top Chef but times 10 with an extra-helping of sass.

Challenge:

Heidi says the challenge is to design an outfit for a pop culture and fashion icon. I could swear that I read Bon Jovi was the "pop culture and fashion icon." This filled me with disappointment. So imagine my surprise when SARAH JESSICA PARKER walks out!

OMG! It's Carrie Bradshaw!!!

I think this picture says it all.

There were shrieks, there were tears, there was jubilation, claps and joyous laughter. And that was just on my couch! The contestants really lose it when SJP walks in. She is not wearing a gigantic flower pin nor guzzling an Appletini and smoking. There is also no voice-over. Miranda and Samantha and Charlotte aren't with her! So, I guess she isn't Carrie.

"Hi designers," she says. Swoon! My best friend was a stylist on a shoot with her, and she said that SJP was extremely nice. I'm feeling good about this challenge. I'm impressed! Heidi, you really brought it this week.

I have to point out that Chris has started sobbing, and voice-overs to the camera, "The reason I moved to New York was because of watching episodes of Sex and the City!"

The challenge is to create a look for Bitten, her fashion line. "The look that you're designing is for our fall winter collection...high-end sportswear at moderate prices." And since the line is about affordability, the entire look must retail for less than $40 dollars. The designers gasp. This means the budget is $15 dollars. The designers all get to pitch to SJP and she'll pick 7 designers to move forward. They, in turn, will pick a partner.

Ricky, besides wearing insane hats, also seems to keep crying to the camera, all episode. "I still feel like I'm trying to prove myself!" he sobs.

In the end, the designers with winning sketches, with their chosen teammates:

Elisa (Sweet Pea), Kit (Chris), Victoria (Kevin), Marion (Steve), Ricky (Jack), Christian (Carmen), and Rami (Julian).

Elisa is doing a "polymorphic" dress with a caplet. The most interesting thing about Elisa today is that she marks her fabric with spit. This is gross. It's because she "Wants to imbibe it with energy and essence." AND HEPATITIS.

Sweet Pea looks disturbed and actually crosses herself, saying "Basically I'm on planet earth and Elisa is on some Happy Planet. I'm not sure of the name." Well said. No argument here.

Ricky, by the way, is in camera confessional land, and STILL CRYING! "It was so fucking cool!" He sobs, 'It was really important!"

Christian, or Andy Dick, is creating a turtleneck dress with a puffy, artsy jacket. Tim is concerned that this may look too Retro. Christian blows him off saying, "It's definitely hot." My opinion? The tunic-dress looks kind of Star Trek Next Generation. Please immediately forget that I know what that show is and what they wear on it.

Victoria is making an adorable little dress with a racer back vest. I personally am ambivalent about the vest trend, because I have awful memories of it my first time around (in the '80's...perhaps in a pastel brocade fabric with a tie...perhaps worn with palazzo pants...) but whatever. This looks really cute.

Marion is having some difficulty because his knit outfit with fringe skirt seems to be stretching and sagging. They give it some structure with a wide belt.

RUNWAY JUDGMENT:

Top Looks:

Elisa & Sweet Pea of the cute dress and little cape, and Victoria & Kevin of the cute dress and little vest.

Loser Looks:
Christian & Carmen of the 80's dress and jacket, and Marion & Steve of the knitwear of despair.

Kors says that the knitwear is a "little Pocahontas." SJP diplomatically says it "Stops a little short of the sketch." Heidi is the one who really hates it: "I don't get it at all. It looks like out of a basement. It looks like a rag to me."

As for Christian's dress/jacket looks, Christian acknowledges, "It's a lot of look. I know." Nina says, "This is very very fashion '80s." Kors says, "It's an addicted to love moment."

Christian defiantly says "I actually want to hear what SJP has to say because I think it's so much like my sketch." SJP counters, politely, "I think it's more severe in person."

In the end, Victoria is the winner and her look will be part of the Bitten line.

For the loser, it's between Marion, with the "bad choice of fabric and poor construction" and Christian, whose look was "stuck in the 80's and inaccessible."

Farewell to Marion!

Personally, I think Christian should have gone but they kept him around because Marion seems too low-key. It's reality TV 101! Get yourself a wacky alter-ego, a propensity for tears or a mawkish back-story and I think you're safe for a few rounds.