"So are we all legally married?" was the question that I posed to our long-time friends, Mary and Joanne, and my partner as we all drove to a Thai restaurant. Last summer, the four of us went to the Montgomery County Courthouse when a judge went rogue, got married, and afterwards went to a nearby Thai restaurant.
"I don't know," replied Mary with characteristic drollness. "But I don't think it's fair to call Pennsylvania 'Pennsyltucky' anymore since Kentucky struck down its same sex marriage ban."
This time we were having Thai again and had lots to catch up on after the long cold weather that kept us in our respective homes. My partner Barbara and I have been together for 30 years and Mary and Joanne have been together for nearly as long. We have known each other for decades. Joanne and Barbara used to work together at the Post Office.
After lunch, we spent the afternoon sitting on the patio behind Mary and Joanne's lovely home. We talked about many things -- chiefly about how we all were living on less money (both of us consist of one partner who is retired and the other self employed) and how we actually have a higher quality of life.
Gradually, the talk turned to marriage.
We all agreed that same-sex marriage is redefining the institution of marriage. For one thing, we are not taking each other's last name. (Straight women often disappear into their husband's last name -- unless they choose to keep their own.) As lesbian-feminists, all of us dislike the word "wife" and refuse to use it to describe ourselves.
We were having such a good time sitting in the sun and laughing, that we forgot to check the news, even though we knew that the ruling on the PA constitutional ban against same sex marriage was due soon. It wasn't until my partner and I had had left and were driving down the street, that Joanne came running after us and told us the good news.
I gave my friend a high five, kissed my partner (now my legal partner/spouse), and as we drove home, we joked about putting a sign and a trail of tin cans on the back of our car.
"Same-sex marriage is legal in 17 U.S states and the District of Columbia: California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington," according to CNN.
The Huffington Post quoting the Associated Press, explains:
"Pennsylvania's ban on gay marriage was overturned by a federal judge Tuesday.
U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III called the plaintiffs -- a widow, 11 couples and one of the couples' two teenage daughters -- courageous.
'We now join the 12 federal district courts across the country which, when confronted with these inequities in their own states, have concluded that all couples deserve equal dignity in the realm of civil marriage,' Jones wrote.
An appeal to the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals is likely. Gov. Tom Corbett's office had defended the law after Attorney General Kathleen Kane called it unconstitutional and refused to defend it.
State marriage bans have been falling around the country since the U.S. Supreme Court last year struck down part of the federal Defense of Marriage Act.
In all, 18 states give legal status to gay marriage. If Jones' decision stands, Pennsylvania would become the 19th and legalize gay marriage throughout the Northeast."
The ACLU has an online petition requesting that the PA Governor (who is running for re-election this year) respect all families in the state by not appealing the ruling. I signed the petition and hope you will too.
I have to admit it feels good to have equal rights.
You can learn more about Tea Leaves: A Memoir of Mothers and Daughters here.
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