THE BLOG
06/04/2013 01:45 pm ET | Updated Aug 04, 2013

Eric Schmidt and Jared Cohen Are the Google: Julian Assange Warns Resistance is Futile

On May 16, Eric Schmidt and Jared Cohen addressed the Chicago Council on Global Affairs about the ideas and opinions in their new book: The New Digital Age: Reshaping the Future of People, Nations and Business.

I was sitting in the second row, and I was in danger of being assimilated. Thanks to Julian Assange's New York Times opinion piece, I now realize that their message of the constructive benefits of better communication and information flow is a ruse to disguise their true agenda of global technocratic imperialism.

Soon we'll be wearing Google Glass, the first step towards cybernetic implants to create the United States' hive mind that will assimilate and obliterate all other cultures on earth. After Schmidt and Cohen have completed their mission, the entire planet will speak English with Henry Kissinger's accent.

We've Resisted So Far

We were warned about the evil of teaching the general population to read and write, but people demanded literacy and Harry Potter.

The telephone was originally an elite tool to suppress the masses, until the masses tied up the lines.

Radio waves and television transmissions were designed to hypnotize and subjugate us. Soon they covered the planet, so we jammed the transmissions with entertainment.

Engineers were warned about the dangers of the calculator (and other computers) replacing the slide rule and making us think less, so engineers used them to speed up their productivity and created more time to think.

Email was a plot to get us to blurt our thoughts into electronic devices so that government powers would know our innermost secrets. We showed them. We refused to exercise self-control, and insisted we don't want to keep secrets.

Some members of Congress pitched in by sending lewd pictures via email and soliciting favors from underage aides. Congress defied the threat of authoritarianism. No one will be allowed to intrude on our privacy; we insist on forfeiting our privacy ourselves.

Assange chides: "No one doubts the chilling effects of the investigations into The Associated Press and Fox's James Rosen." He's right; no one will disagree with that. It's as heinous as torturing Mary Queen of Scots' letter carriers. It's as creepy as taping conversations between Prince Charles and (then) Camilla Parker Bowles, and later printing the transcripts in the press. It's as disgusting as Rupert Murdoch's reporters hacking citizens' cell phones. We showed them. We used electronic media to embarrass the Justice Department.

This Time is Different

But Assange warns us this time is different. Once the Google find people, resistance will be futile. Victims will have no choice but to become part of the collective. He's probably right, because there is a horrific precedent.

Remember when man discovered fire? Well, neither do I, but we haven't been the same since. Once fire found people, victims didn't want to give it up. Witches have been burned at the stake, and it was used to torture secrets from people. A lot of people keep getting burned.

What good ever came from fire? We wouldn't listen, and now every nation in the world is using it. I don't know who was behind that conspiracy, but someday Julian Assange will write an opinion piece in the New York Times and tell us.