Are Fat People Doormats?

Do fat people tend toward being foolishly sentimental and soft? Does the word "namby-pamby" fit you? Fat, thin or regular sized, be brave and take this true/false quiz!

True or False? How many of these statements do you identify with?

1. You do things for other people that you really don't want to do that are clearly beyond the call of duty.

Example: Your neighbor pops in and asks if you can watch her kids for the afternoon. She says that she hasn't had a break for at least a week, and she wants to take herself to the movies. You say okay, even though you haven't had a break in ... geeze Louise, it's been so long you can't remember ... and you don't even like her kids!

True or False?

2. You lie because you want to accommodate someone else.

Example: Your daughter-in-law asks if you are busy on Friday because that's the day she that works best for her to get together, and even though you have a fully loaded day and will have to go to great inconvenience to reschedule all, you say, "Oh that's perfect, my calendar is free. Works for me!"

True or False?

3. When asked what your preference is, you defer to others, even though you strongly do have a preference.

Example: When asked what type of restaurant you prefer to dine in, you say, "Whatever you like." And then ... you end up going to a greasy spoon comfort food place that has absolutely nothing on the menu that you want to or should eat, and -- by the way -- you are miserable!

True or False?

4. You make vague comments about things and expect people to read your mind and then you play the martyr.

Example: You tell a friend, "Oh my back has been acting up a bit lately. Sometimes when I stand for long period of times or walk too slowly, it goes into a spasm." One week later, they call and say let's go to a museum, and you are really put upon and peeved that they don't get that a museum might activate your spasm.

True or False?

5. You stuff down your feelings with food.

Example: Instead of telling your son, daughter or friend that you are feeling neglected and yes, angry, that they forgot your birthday, you bake yourself a cake and stuff those feelings down with extra icing.

True or False?

6. You are so wanting every one in the world to like you that you start to unravel and shift rather quickly into a 'downward' spiral at the thought of anyone not liking you.

Example: Your new friend hasn't called you in a week and you begin to think, without even considering whether they are busy or not, that they just don't like you. Feelings of sadness rise to the surface, anxiety sets in and the unraveling begins!

True or False?

7. You think you are 'oh so good' for overriding your feelings, putting others before yourself and being the doormat that you are!

Example: You look at the above list and identify with each and every statement and think that you are a good person for being uber-available to all, and that those who don't drop their lives for others are selfish.

True or False?

6-7 Trues? You are the ... Biggest Namby-Pamby Ever.
3-5 Trues? You are ... somewhat stable.
1-2 Trues? You are ... strong enough!
0 Trues? You are ... super-empowered and perhaps, maybe even a little too inflexible?

What to do? How to change it around? How to move from Doormat to Empowered Woman?

• Learn to say "No" in multiple languages.
• Answer any and all requests with: "I'll get back to you on that later." Thus, creating thinking time so that you can think it through and possibly find the courage to say "no!"
• Schedule 'non-negotiable' time for yourself.
• Or you could lighten up, for goodness sake, and laugh at yourself. Buy one of these great doormats from amazon.com

I am NOT a doormat - doormat">I am NOT a doormat - doormat
Skull and Crossbones Doormat
Butter My Butt Doormat

"Buy a doormat, don't be one!" ~ Weight Loss Wisdom from Our Lady of Weight Loss

Spread the word ... not the icing!
Janice

Read more from Janice on her Beliefnet.com weight loss blog
or visit her Our Lady of Weight Loss website.

Write Janice for a complementary Weight Loss Coaching consult.

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Comments

[CaveatMagnusFrater]

Hi Janice,

My yes was to the first question. But it only sometimes. I could see it being a problem if it were a way of life. But sometimes it's worth a little extra effort just to make someone else's day.

mike

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

No, I don't think so. According to all I know it is perfectly sufficient to know how to say No in only one language. As long as it is russian:

'Njet.' is always convincing.

[Ellencpw]

Being reliable or dependable is a positive trait, but when it comes to negating oneself then it becomes a detriment to your well being - at that point you cannot be reliable or dependable - hopefully everyone finds this out before it is too late because no one will every take care of you like you would, or should, deserve.

[mercymercyme]

I have never been a doormat (thank goodness) and as I turn 60 this year, at the heaviest weight I've ever been, I get more ornery and even more "selfish." If anything, I need to say "yes" a little more often!

[Janice Taylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Say "YES" to life! Brava. Great idea, MercyMercyMe!
Thanks for posting!

Spread the word ... NOT the icing!
Janice

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Love the doormats!!
I always try to remember that saying no to someone else is a way of saying yes to me. And I usually end up saying yes to them anyway. So thanks for the big reminder.
love you
Deb

[Janice Taylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Deb! Love your comment! The yes/no questions is one that I love to ask:
When you say "Yes" to the Cinnabon, what are you saying "No" to?
And visa versa!

Love you,
Janny