Kick in the Tush Club: A Letter to Oprah

Some time ago, I wrote Oprah a letter and posted it on her website.

"Dear Oprah," I wrote, "If I can permanently remove over 50 pounds, so can you. Why don't you come and visit with me. Stay a week. I'm willing to bet you'll lose weight. And it's not like I'm starving myself or doing much exercise either. It'll be fun."

After I sent this note via her website, I totally freaked out. I mean, what is she actually showed up? Without warning? She does that kind of surprise stuff on her show. What if the house were a mess? Would she sleep on an air mattress? What about the floors? They needed to be buffed up for sure!

I got so wound up and caught in the web of my own fantasy that I actually ran out to Bed Bath and Beyond and stocked up on cleaning fluids and a Swiffer floor cleaning kit. It's still in the closet. Floors still in need of polish!

So, when I read in today's AP article that Oprah weighs 200 pounds and she's embarrassed about it, I had the same urge to reach out.

So here goes ... Oprah, if you are reading this, seriously ... come and visit with me. I'm in NYC, in fact, around the corner from Maya, so we can all hang together. I'll make huge batches of vegetable soup. Are you good at chopping? Because I'm not.

We can walk around the park, go to the post office together. And watch Oprah at 4 p.m. together. How funny would that be!

And I am willing to bet you whatever it is that you'd like to bet that if you stayed with me, a 50 pound big-time-loser, you'd be a loser, too!

Visit my website: Our Lady of Weight Loss. Check out my before and after photos.

Note that O, the Oprah magazine says I am a 'kooky genius.' Wild coincidence!!!

Oprah, If I can, you can. For goodness sake. Come! Stay! We'll talk; we'll walk; we'll eat fruits and vegetables; we'll laugh it up while we slim down together.

I'm taking a risk, you know, by posting this. Oprah could show up. I better get crackin' and cleanin'!

Spread the word ... not the icing,
Janice
________________________
Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, Cert. Hypnotist, author,columnist, seminar leader and 50 pound big-time-loser.

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Comments

[rica7]

Oprah, you'll burn calories just from all the laughing you'll do with Janice.
Adelante!.......Nancy

[lpsegal]

Oprah should listen to Janice......the "kooky genius" is exactly who she is, and her plan truly works............keep doing your thing, Janice

[SigmundPi]

Hey Janice,
You are something else! Genius is said to be 95% perspiration and 5% inspiration. I don't entirely agree with that: attitude is a big piece and girl you got some attitude--you are hilarious! And you have attitude-- good ole' fashioned sassy, upfront, uptown, put it right out there attitude!
That has to be part of the genius equation--- perspiration + attitude + inspiration= genius.
You are a kooky genius--your blog is really really funny-I can imagine Oprah on your air mattress and hanging eating your soup.

[cat123]

I think that Oprah would definitely benefit from a weekend with you - anyone would!. Can I come as well? I promise not to make noise or disturb you in any other way???

[smithcity5000]

Sounds like a pretty relaxed, fun and easy weight loss plan. Vegetable soup, walk around the park, pajamas, watch TV, lose weight? Is that it??? Is that the plan? GREAT! I can handle that.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

What a compassionate lass you are Janice. I hope Oprah takes you up on it.

The one magic you have when dealing with weight loss is your sense of humor.

As a workshop leader and personal coach I know that most people take themselves too seriously. Weight loss is a sensitive subject and it is taboo to some. I ran into a friend and told them about a great workout place and they flipped and said, 'why are you telling me this you shouldn't be talking about my weight.'

Visualise Oprah, your wise woman energy and compassionate helping hands coming together.

If you don't have a sense of humor, it's just not funny! Laughter is the best medicine, Ed

[LoveCrain]

I'm a fan, Janice, and have read your books. Clearly, Oprah has not, otherwise she would have a 'lighter' attitude. Someone needs to tell her about your mission. To Make Weight Loss FUN!!!

[jimwellington10035]

If Oprah can't make it, I'm in. PJ's and all.
Air mattress works for me!

[rica7]

Oprah, you'll lose weight just from all the laughing you'll do with Janice.
Adelante!.......Nancy