THE BLOG

Kick in the Tush Club: A Letter to Oprah

01/11/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Some time ago, I wrote Oprah a letter and posted it on her website.

"Dear Oprah," I wrote, "If I can permanently remove over 50 pounds, so can you. Why don't you come and visit with me. Stay a week. I'm willing to bet you'll lose weight. And it's not like I'm starving myself or doing much exercise either. It'll be fun."

After I sent this note via her website, I totally freaked out. I mean, what is she actually showed up? Without warning? She does that kind of surprise stuff on her show. What if the house were a mess? Would she sleep on an air mattress? What about the floors? They needed to be buffed up for sure!

I got so wound up and caught in the web of my own fantasy that I actually ran out to Bed Bath and Beyond and stocked up on cleaning fluids and a Swiffer floor cleaning kit. It's still in the closet. Floors still in need of polish!

So, when I read in today's AP article that Oprah weighs 200 pounds and she's embarrassed about it, I had the same urge to reach out.

So here goes ... Oprah, if you are reading this, seriously ... come and visit with me. I'm in NYC, in fact, around the corner from Maya, so we can all hang together. I'll make huge batches of vegetable soup. Are you good at chopping? Because I'm not.

We can walk around the park, go to the post office together. And watch Oprah at 4 p.m. together. How funny would that be!

And I am willing to bet you whatever it is that you'd like to bet that if you stayed with me, a 50 pound big-time-loser, you'd be a loser, too!

Visit my website: Our Lady of Weight Loss. Check out my before and after photos.

Note that O, the Oprah magazine says I am a 'kooky genius.' Wild coincidence!!!

Oprah, If I can, you can. For goodness sake. Come! Stay! We'll talk; we'll walk; we'll eat fruits and vegetables; we'll laugh it up while we slim down together.

I'm taking a risk, you know, by posting this. Oprah could show up. I better get crackin' and cleanin'!

Spread the word ... not the icing,
Janice
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Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, Cert. Hypnotist, author,columnist, seminar leader and 50 pound big-time-loser.