In emails from Tushkateers (members of the Kick in the Tush Club) and various coaching conversations that I've had with a number of my one-on-one coaching clients, the concepts of "normal" and "perfect" have repeatedly surfaced.
True enough, many have wished that they were "normal" and are down, down, down on themselves for not being perfect. I'm curious to know what you think being "normal" (whatever that is) and "perfect" (whatever that is) looks like and what you think being "normal" and "perfect" will do for you.
In his book, "Living Wabi Sabi," Taro Gold writes:
Those who inspire us most do not achieve perfection through greatness: They achieve greatness through imperfection. All of the world's best-loved truth-seekers and religious figures, including Jesus and Buddha, led obviously less-than-perfect lives and were the first to let us know that they, too, were not perfect people.
Perfection is a fruitless endeavor. It causes much suffering. More precisely, it causes optional suffering, the kind you inflict upon yourself when you really, really do not have to.
Mistakes, failure and imperfection have created life-changing explorations and "happy accidents." Did you know that mistakes, a form of imperfection (because if you were perfect you wouldn't make a mistake, would you?), have led to the discovery of DNA, penicillin, aspirin, X-rays, Teflon, Velcro, nylon, cornflakes, Coca-Cola and chocolate-chip cookies?
Can you imagine what it would be like if you woke up and everything went exactly the way you wanted it to go? I mean everything, from the moment you woke up till the end of the day, perfect. There would be no challenge. There would be no growth, no surprise. What would life be like without the surprise element? Dull, dull, dull!
Are you familiar with the 1998 movie "Pleasantville," starring Reese Witherspoon and Tobey McGuire? Robert McDaniel of Film and History described the town of Pleasantville as the perfect place: "It never rains, the highs and lows rest at 72 degrees, the fire department exists only to rescue treed cats, and the basketball team never misses the hoop." However, McDaniel says, "Pleasantville is a false hope. David's journey tells him only that there is no 'right' life, no model for how things are 'supposed to be.'"
Consider the following definitions of the words "normal" and "perfect." The dictionary definition of "normal" is, "Conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. Approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment." The dictionary definition of "perfect" is, "Conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type. Exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose. Entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings. Accurate, exact or correct in every detail. Pure or unmixed."
I don't know about you, but I am happy to embrace my imperfect, not-so-normal self. I am happy to make a mess, spill ink and allow happy accidents to, well, happen! In fact, I look forward to them. It takes the pressure off.
And you? How will you observe your imperfections today? With an open eye and from a new perspective?
Please share your imperfections (below, in the comment section), your no-so-normalness, and any happy accidents that happily befall you.
Spread the word, not the icing,
Janice Taylor
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I bought a ring because it had a flaw, an imperfection. That's what I loved about it.
I dearly love my children no matter what, but it is the imperfections I look back on with fond memories.
It is the imperfections that make me laugh, that make us all human.
Is it not better to just accept these things as “living life” for if we continue to be negative about them then they manifest into something that has to be fixed, sorted or removed (for those that do not embrace them like you are suggesting in your article). Then, when they can’t fix them they become massive, much larger issues.
What you are calling an imperfection or mistake is actually a symptom to what society projects. We need to start removing these socially embedded thoughts so that we don’t place importance on them not being achieved, solved, managed or removed. By accepting the social projections you are actually creating them, giving them importance that then anchors them in your life.
You bring it back to dealing with the source rather than the symptom when you say “Perfection is a fruitless endeavor. It causes much suffering. More precisely, it causes optional suffering, the kind you inflict upon yourself when you really, really do not have to.” But alas return to reinforcing the negative nature by referring to the events as imperfections or mistakes.
I totally understand and LOVE what you are meaning by the article but it could be more powerful by a subtle change of words.
Craig Ing
www.craiging.com
www.blog.craiging.com
Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Different is what makes this world great! I love different people - all shapes, sizes, nationalities, ages...we learn from everyone and everything....The value is in embracing each of our differences and realizing that we are not perfect (no one is) and being okay with it!
“We are here to learn, to experiment, and to make mistakes. We don't need to judge ourselves harshly; we just need to take life one step at a time, not worrying about other people's judgment of us, nor measuring ourselves by their measuring sticks. We need to forgive ourselves and be grateful for the things that help us grow. Our most severe challenges will one day reveal themselves to be our greatest teachers.”
-- Embraced By The Light”
Thank you for sharing it!!
Also, he implied that part of the reason Jesus is a "best loved" "religious figure" is *because* of these imperfections. But that's contrary to essentially all Christian doctrine, and I dare say Jesus is a "best loved" "religious figure" basically only to Christians.