Here we are at that time of year again. Time to make New Year's Resolutions.
Not wanting to be left out, I usually make a few promises to myself.
1. I will write everyday. This starts off doable.
2. I will exercise everyday. Not as easy due to obligations such as watching my grandchildren, spending time with my husband and sleeping.
3. I will not drink every day. Almost impossible due to above mentioned obligations.
By mid-January, I've usually broken whatever resolutions I've made and begin to question why I made them in the first place.
Well, the answer is simple. Like I said, it's what we do at this time of year. I'm a follower. And I always have been.
It started back in elementary school. From afar I watched this girl. I envied her for various reasons, one of them being that her tennis shoes matched her clutch purse. (Remember those days?) So, I did what any slightly weird person would do -- I followed her. Until that day when we finally became friends. (For the record, she's still my BFF.)
In junior high (yes, it wasn't called Middle School yet) I would sit in class, wanting so badly to raise my hand when the teacher asked a question. But I was too shy and embarrassed about my answer.
And then someone else would say the exact thoughts that sat in my head. Huh? How did my words get inside his brain? Only my words more cleverly formed.
High school wasn't much different. I dressed, walked and talked just like everyone else.
It wasn't until my late twenties that I gained a bit of confidence which carried me into the workforce.
Becoming a mother in my thirties taught me to speak out on behalf of my daughter.
In my forties, I began to discover who I really was: a woman with a solid opinion. Yet, I was still a bit leery to be the first to speak up on anything. I was still afraid of what people would think of me.
Well, now here I am, on the other side of 50. And I'd like to think a bit wiser. But I'm still not the first person to do something.
Although, I may be the only middle-aged woman to still own the very first vibrator given to her. By my BFF, I must add.
And so this year, I'm only going to make only one resolution: I resolve not to wait for anyone's approval. I am going to say "no" more often. I am going to take time for me.
Okay, that might be more than one resolution. But they all fall under one category: If you're going to follow something, follow your own heart.