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Janine Boldrin

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My Son Reads About 9/11 in School, But He Lives 9/11 at Home

Posted: 09/09/2012 12:15 am

I was pregnant with our first baby when I watched the Twin Towers fall, the Pentagon in flames, and a field in Pennsylvania scorched by terror. My personal connection to the moment those planes took away our country's innocence was mostly through people who knew people, friends in the Pentagon, a cousin who was in the middle of the chaos of Manhattan. I cried with the nation as I saw the posters held by those looking for their loved ones. I was transfixed by the incredible loss that reverberated across our country. And I drew my arms around my big, pregnant belly.

My husband was in the Army.

I remember turning to him that night and asking what it all meant for us. Little did we know that our next decade would be shaped by a single day. While the funerals were finishing in New York City and around the nation for those who perished, the funerals of soldiers dying overseas on the battlefield and in mess halls were beginning and would continue for the next eleven years.

I often wonder if America would mourn our soldiers more if their deaths didn't come in small tallies. If photographs of the men and women who died didn't show them in uniform but at their son's baseball game or daughter's dance recital, in their graduation cap, or their wedding day. If their pictures were on telephone poles or big boards in the middle of a city, would people take notice and cry out for our loss?

In December 2001, I gave birth to our first son. He would see his father go to Afghanistan when he was 1 year old. Then Iraq. Then Afghanistan again. He will turn 11 this year and his father will deploy for a third time to Afghanistan. The other day, someone raised their eyebrows when I told them. They said, "We're still sending soldiers there?" I wanted to cry. My heart almost slipped into my throat. I know people who have gone five, six, seven times. I know people whose husbands and wives have not come home. Full blocks in military towns are devoid of fathers and mothers. They just left a few weeks ago. They left nine months ago. They leave next summer. Many leave in a few weeks.

Some of them came home in coffins. More will.

Eleven years later. The posters are gone on the streets of New York City but the pictures are still going up on the nightly news of those who continue to be lost to the War on Terror. And, if you read the fine print, the War on Terror, the Afghanistan War, the "we stick around to advise them" version, no matter how its renamed, retooled, or reworked to make everyone else feel better, it means soldiers, human beings, our loved ones, are serving as they were asked to do.

Our son is now in fifth grade. He reads about 9/11 in school. He lives 9/11 at home.

Just as you honor the tremendous sacrifice that many made on that tragic day, please don't forget the service of our men and women who continue to be sent overseas and those families who wait for them at home.

There are still fathers, sisters, cousins, partners, friends running into those burning towers. Our nation called them to action after 9/11. Duffels packed. Kisses given. Tears cried. They march onto planes. Away from their families. Praying they return. Hoping you remember.

 
 
 

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I was pregnant with our first baby when I watched the Twin Towers fall, the Pentagon in flames, and a field in Pennsylvania scorched by terror. My personal connection to the moment those planes took a...
I was pregnant with our first baby when I watched the Twin Towers fall, the Pentagon in flames, and a field in Pennsylvania scorched by terror. My personal connection to the moment those planes took a...
 
 
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11:35 AM on 09/12/2012
Obama condemns Romney before.................condemning terrorists! When will Barack Obama's "Apology Tour" begin for Libya's killing of 4 Americans?

http://weaselzippers.us/2012/09/12/obama-campaign-condemns-romney-before-condemning-terrorists-who-attacked-our-embassies/
09:58 AM on 09/12/2012
Bless her heart. I have not forgotten.
12:50 AM on 09/12/2012
Pointed and accurate. Because our political leaders have not had the courage to ask the nation as a whole to make sacrifices there is nothing to remind the civilians that we are at war unless a member of their family is serving. "Thank you for your service" is a meaningless phrase because they have no idea - and precious few in government have any idea - of the nature of that service, the sacrifices that are made and the price the men and women of the armed forces and their families pay.
10:03 PM on 09/11/2012
Thank you so much for writing this. Our 2nd daughter was 6 mo. old on 9/11. My 3 daughters are now 13, 11, and 9 and my husband is on his 4th deployment in the Army. Our family doesn't just remember this day, we've been remembering every day since. The 5 of us were forever changed that day and will still be dealing with the affects of war forever. My heart grieves for soldiers of past wars who were treated the same way...but I also see the special bond our soldiers have for one another. Nothing brings me more pride then when I see a past veteran shake my husband's hand and they thank each other for their service. Regardless of people's ugly comments and views on the war, who the commander-in-chief is or was....there is beauty in our life because our husbands are soldiers and because we are military families. May God bless you truly.
Syllogizer
Barely Left of Pobedonostsev
09:21 PM on 09/11/2012
I am puzzled that the author, Janine, says she did not expect a single day to changer our lives so much for so long. What? Hasn't she read history? Was she asleep in class the day they covered Pearl Harbor? That was the only other attack on US soil to cost so many lives, and it too changed our lives for years.

That is the way events of great historical impact are. Some of us actually paid attention to history so that we were NOT blind-sided when it happened.

As for the suffering of military families whose neighbors are so unaware of what they go through, not even knowing we "still send soldiers over there", this too is one of the lessons of history. If you are not willing to sacrifice for an ungrateful nation, then why join the military in the first place?
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tkmcnair
Retired US Army, E8, MA History
03:13 AM on 09/11/2012
Thank you for bringing it up. I was on active duty Sept 11, in a deployable unit and had a 3 year old and could not imagine my son going through life without his mom...but i had a duty to country. My retirement ceremony was 2 days after the Iraq war started (retirement approved year before) and sick from bad anthrax shot...i truly hated my country for the mess we were in and with the wrong enemy. I healed eventually and am teaching my son now 14 about Sept 11 but i continue to feel anger at our country's ability not to think and feel of our soldiers suffering.

I have interviewed many soldiers who have been in continuous warfare the past 10 years and like you mention, they have gone over and over again. They stay because it is a career and they have pride, want career progression etc just as I had...but the ghosts that haunt them are real and get deeper with each deployment.

But I guess when George W told the American people the only sacrifice they had to make was to go shopping they listened.

There is hope - on a recent Bataan Death March in New Mexico I was surrounded by soldiers/vets with artificial limbs and full gear knocking out a grueling 24 mile march through crazy terrain and weather conditions..........our America lives on in those men and women
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Azentrius
09:10 AM on 09/10/2012
Touching, obviously sincere... but I still think Americans in general couldn't have cared less about terrorism until it actually occurred here.
Syllogizer
Barely Left of Pobedonostsev
09:24 PM on 09/11/2012
And that, of course, is a huge and fundamental problem. The US voter's inattention until too late means we as a people waited far to late to do anythin really effective about terrorism, so now we have to stumble through this "War on Terror" under far worse conditions, suffering all the evils Janine describes and quite a few she did not know to mention.
02:24 AM on 09/10/2012
How we initially got into a war in Iraq and AFG is a moot point, we ARE in active theaters and thousands of American men and women serve at the command of our military leaders. We do not have to agree with our politicians in order to be supportive of our troops. the sacrifices’ made by our troops are so much more than anyone outside the military would ever /could ever comprehend; and the sacrifices of their families is very much the same...beyond the comprehension of most, and the compassion of some…. But we can as a nation, make an effort to demonstrate respect and appreciation for each and every one of them though remembrance and service. I never see a service person in uniform that I don’t stop what I am doing and walk over to talk to them and thank them. If I pass them in a vehicle, I salute….it probably means nothing coming from a civilian….but it’s the only gesture I could think of that spoke to them in their language of my respect. During Thanksgiving grocery shopping I wear my “Fourth of July” embroidered American Flag shirt….I always get comments, you’re dressed for the wrong holiday aren’t you? To which I reply, everyone isn’t home for the holidays, we still have troops in Iraq and AFG, please say a prayer for them at your table this year. The Questioners usually look rather sheepish and I HOPE, more mindful of their sacrifice.
12:00 AM on 09/10/2012
Beautifully written, and thank you for sharing, caring and as an American, I salute your husband for his service to this country, from my heart.
09:57 PM on 09/09/2012
Thank you for sharing and thank you for your service and your husband's and your son's. We have faced the same and sometimes feel like we live in an alternate world because so few realize what is going on. My youngest of 4 girls was 7 when my husband deployed to Afghanistan in early 2002 and he made it home from his 6th deployment just in time for her high school graduation. There is a whole generation of kids growing up without full-time parents. They miss so much, not in the way the children of the victims of 9/11 so, but to live with the fear of your dad (or mom, sister, daughter, etc) not coming home and to carry on normally when everyone else is oblivious can be a challenge, one that you, like us, meet proudly and with grace (we try!). Take care and may you enjoy life together as a family soon. You deserve it!
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ScotBlondnBlue
09:21 PM on 09/09/2012
Ms. Boldrin, making the deduction that because you were first pregnant in 2001 and from looking at your photo, it appears that you are likely in your thirties. Being that young I feel compelled to remind you of the following. I was on a balcony directly across the Hudson River from the towers watching them burn and fall in real time. You, your son and millions upon millions of us cannot stress enough how devastating that day was and remains both in history and in our daily lives. That said, it was hardly the loss of America's innocence as a nation. The innocence felt by your generation perhaps; I will agree with that. On the other hand I can tell you exactly where I was and exactly what I was doing and how my life was daily affected by the subsequent changes when President Kennedy was assassinated and an entire generation lost its innocence. Just as my 91 year old Mom can tell us the same things about the attack on Pearl Harbor and her generation lost their innocence. It seems that the people of the world lose huge amounts of innocence at least once per generation, but not the innocence of a nation, just the innocence of the lives and recollections of the current generation.
John P Miller
Historian, Truthseeker
08:17 PM on 09/09/2012
Thank you for your story.
I thank your husband for his service and your entire family for their sacrifice.
06:23 PM on 09/09/2012
Amen. Sadly; America has forgotten. 9/11 is now just history; something that children; like your son, read about, but have no real understanding as to what changed that day 11 years ago. The politicians
are the worst. They use 9/11 when it suits, other than that our military men & women are no longer honored, are forgotten, & in some cases even reviled. Their sacrifices are ignored; many come home to no jobs; no help & an America sadly lacking in any kind of true appreciation for the cost of the freedoms they enjoy.
To all the American service men & women, wether I know you or not: my Thanks, my Appreciation & God Bless you all, not just on this upcoming anniversary, but always.
05:45 PM on 09/09/2012
The entry reads "My personal connection to the moment those planes took away our country's innocence was mostly through people who knew people"

Your country's innocence was gone long before 9/11.
I hope what you have conveyed above is an American Awakening to the US Military Industrial Complex.
04:41 PM on 09/09/2012
Janine-Maybe if this current administration would show some support with their words and actions, there would be more emphasis and support given in the mainly Democratic media community. If Obama doesn't like it, then it rarely mentioned. If he likes it, it is news for days. But, please know that there are millions of less vocal, yet extremely supportive, who are proud of your husband and all of our military. It is them we have to thank simply for the ability to do just what we are doing here on this page!! Too bad politics has to enter into the equasion. Please thank your husband from all of us out here for his years of service.
08:16 AM on 09/10/2012
Actually, Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden have both been actively involved in a Support our Troops effort.
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DrZee
vt English prof w/art biz
07:57 AM on 09/11/2012
President Obama's Administration has been fiercely supportive of the military every day. He has offered legislation for Vets -- from extended GI Bill rights to a job's bill to housing bills, and to aid and support of military families. No hitting below the belt on that -- President Obama has fought long and hard for our vets and currently-serving military. Active and retired military leaders have lauded his leadership. Those facts are verifiable.

If you are going to discuss lack of support -- try looking no further than the Romney campaign who didn't even mention any troops or the war in Afghanistan during the major convention speech or events. It seems according to Mr. Romney, it wasn't important. What was "important" for these people was to wage even more wars.
11:38 AM on 09/11/2012
You hit the nail on the head when you said "Active and retired military LEADERS have lauded his leadership." It's the leaders who cowtow to politicians. It's the leaders who retire and take positions with defense contractors that they helped negotiate contracts for.

It's the everyday soldier, the grunt, the one on the front lines, who has felt the brunt of the bad policies of this administration. Have you even read the Rules of Engagement that our soldiers have to operate under in Afghanistan and Iraq? They are absurd, and have cost MANY soldiers their lives. It almost cost my husband his.

Most everyday military (not the bigwigs at the Pentagon) are VERY unhappy (and very afraid) of the path that this administration is taking the military down. And make no mistake, they are as equally unhappy with their military leaders who are basically "yes men" in military uniforms.

Military jobs bills? Why do you suppose that he is pushing for military jobs bills? It's because he is preparing to gut our forces! He is making sure that the military pays "it's fair share". I'm sure that after 11 years of constant deployments, our military has paid MUCH MORE than their fair share.