Midwinter Options: When You Can't Find Peace Without, Choose Peace Within
I ran into a friend at the gym last week. Originally from Switzerland, he has been living in Los Angeles for 20 years. Ten years ago he and his partner purchased a beautiful home, which sits at the end of a cul de sac in the West Hollywood Hills, where many enjoy a pristine, quiet life. He lives in a home many people would not even venture into for an open house because they know they couldn't afford it. I would go as far as to say he lives a privileged life. So I was rather struck when during our brief conversation my friend revealed that he was choosing to leave L.A.
He had always been a person who was quite fond of expressing his love and gratitude for living in Los Angeles. So, I asked, "What has made you decide to sell your beautiful home and move?" His reply came as a surprise: "This town has gotten so hectic and chaotic. I used to be able to relax here. I used to find it peaceful. I really don't anymore. I have not really been able to relax in LA for a long time."
His statement gave me reason to pause, and also gave me food for brain fodder. There have been times when I, too, have shared his sentiment about living in Los Angeles. It's easy to get caught up in the notion that one's surroundings can dictate his or her level of life enjoyment. But I've noticed that, more often than not, when I am running around chaotic like the proverbial chicken with its head chopped off, it is on a day when I did not practice my morning ritual of centering and meditating.
Because my friend and I were both in the middle of our workouts, I did not share what was coming to mind for me, so we finished up our chat by talking about the recent holidays. He shared his experience going to church on Christmas Eve, and after he had moved on to a different machine in the gym, I found myself reflecting upon our conversation. I wondered if, during his trip to church, he had been instructed by the pastor to turn to his neighbor and say "Peace be with you." As a non-practicing Jew who's been to Christian services once or twice, I had always enjoyed this part of the service, but now I find myself contemplating the meaning of that phrase.
Although I know it means "I hope that you find peace," I've come to believe that "Peace be with you" is a somewhat misleading saying. And as I typed 'Peace be with you,' I found myself reminded of this when my word processing program suggested an alternative: "Peace is with you." This, to me, is the more truthful and appropriate thing to say to someone, for it suggests that peace lies within each of us and that we all have the capacity to access it if we choose to. Perhaps computers do sometimes know more than people after all.
It is easy to allow ourselves to get caught in the fear and chaos that can come with the state of current global affairs. Our economy is heinous. People are still killing each other in the name of oil and in the name of their chosen gods. Is peace really something we think we can find looking down to the cityscape from the hill we live on in Los Angeles, or from the 30th floor of the building in which we live in Times Square?
When we continue to seek peace as if it is an external experience to be provided sometime in the future by something or someone other than ourselves, it never arrives. The truth is that peace is a reality that lies within you. Just like love, joy, silence, and grace it cannot be created or destroyed. It just is.
The inner experience of peace is a choice we can make. For instance, for me choosing peace can be as simple as disengaging from the inner experience of fear and chaos that can come when I check the balance on my retirement account. Instead of giving in to that fear, I give myself permission to focus on the fact that in this moment my needs are more than met. It can be as simple as choosing to focus on my breath rather than the person who just cut me off in traffic. I chose to see being laid off from my last corporate position at the end of 2007 as a gift from spirit telling me it was time to stop dabbling in my coaching/seminar business part time, as I had been doing for years, and finally commit full time to a coaching career. And, a few years ago, when my brothers and I had to remove my mother from the life support that kept her breathing following a health battle, I chose peace. I left the hospital room to go to the chapel, where I intended to have a few moments of peace and silence. It was in that peace a very clear message came from spirit advising me to go back to her room, because her transition was imminent. I did, and within a very short period of time she made her peaceful transition.
Albert Camus once wrote, "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." I think this sentiment best describes the idea that we all have the capacity to find within ourselves the peace that we normally seek from outside influences. So as we maneuver through the days of this winter season and the days following, let's all remember to keep celebrating the summer that lives inside of us.
Peace be within you.
Trying to find peace during times of chaos and uncertainty? Send Jason a question @ info@jmannino.com.
Learn more about Jason and his coaching technique: A.C.T.ion Centered transformation @ www.jmannino.com.
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Well, you got a bit of a tear outta me before I reached the end. What a beautiful life skill to be mindful of on a daily basis. And if life is truly a reflection of the sponsoring beliefs we hold, choosing to see the abundance and support of the universe, regardless of where I am in that breath, provides a lot of peace for me.
I so agree with the practical, personal, relatable, and moving advice you once again take the time to craft and share with the world.
..and also within you. Levi
A worthwhile commentary and significant during our confusing times.
It's a great beginning. For me peace is an abstraction to be given away.
If one creates peace outside themselves, they become enveloped in it by interacting with those they created it with....
I have found peace and inner harmony with this post.
I love hearing that, Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks for the reminder that we can choose peace in chaos and rejoice in mind over matter. That choice calms the inner being even as we must find strength to advocate for fairness and human rights. Peace IS with you. (The grammar checker has finally redeemed itself!)
Jason, I very much like the way you carefully read the comments on your article and often respond to them.
I'm trying to work out what this achieves - I think it has made me look at the other contributions, and rejoice in them. We are a self-selecting few, but you have brought us together, making us stronger in our affirming and encouraging response to others.
Cheers, mates!
Simmary:
Thanks so much for noticing and acknowledging my comments! I'm grateful that you experience encouragement and affirmation in this context!
Jason
I find it amusing, and perhaps others do as well, that reading this article,and the wonderful responses here attached to this article have helped me tighten my grasp on the inner peace that has been loosening in the darkness of winter. But, I am reminded of the saying, "it is always darkest before the dawn", so I look forward to catching the first glimpse of the dawn's new light, and hope that the world, and the people in the world will see the light, and feel the peace as strongly as I shall
I am with you! and have found joy in noticing that the days are already getting longer. It's a great metaphor as soon as we are complete with the darkest day of the year the days start to get brighter.
Light ahead!
Jason
Thank you for your article. What a struggle this is for me.... For so long my possession have owned me, instead of the other way around. However, I have faith in tomorrow..
Thanks for sharing! Sounds to me like you're "struggle" is teaching you a lot. You know?- Awareness is one of the greatest steps in resolution! So- I encourage you to stay centered, keep looking forward and be gentle with yourself!
Take care!
Jason
So, all you are saying, is give peace a chance!
I've been thinking about the "invincible summer" in all of us over this holiday season. Beyond the normal equinox cycle of the earth grows darker and dormant, this particular year seems to have been particularly dark for some time.
The recent celebration of the Yule originated around the equinox cyle, the turning point in the winter when the nights again start to get shorter and the days longer. It reminds us that darkness is a part of the cycle of the universe, as is the promise of light. It also reminds us that, just like our Mother Earth when things seems cold and lifeless, the seeds of spring and summer are always deep within us,waiting to bloom.
Peace be with you.
Yes! very poignant! as a matter of fact that song crossed my mind when I was coming up with a title for the article!! :-)
Thanks!
Another great column, Jason. You're right; peace does lie within each one of us. It's a great message to send at the top of a new year. It's the kind of resolution we should all keep. :)
See Ed and Deb Shapiro's Profile
Hey Jason another meaningful blog.
I lived in a Yoga Center in the Hollywood Hills in the early 1970's. I had just got back from India where I wore only 2 pieces of cloth, called dhotis. Then I am in this spacious yoga center with a swimming pool on top of the hills.
I adjusted well and meditation and inner peace were necessary to be in LA as it was a challenging enviornment. It seems LA is one big highway. As you have to drive everywhere. Now I live in ski country and enjoy the peaceful outback ski world.
Inner peace leads to outer peace. Thanks for being Jason.
May all people know their true inner peace, Ed
thank you for the needed reminder. The phenonemenal world cannot possibly be a source of true peace, due a great deal to what Budhha called the suffering of change, that is even if you achieve a peaceful situation, usually through great effort, that situation is not going to last. The only lasting peace possible will never depend on outside circumstance. Victor Frankl is a great western example of someone who found peace in a situation where most would think peace is impossible. Of course in order to access inner peace you need to deal with the petulant blind willfull and stupid child each unenlightened being is burdened with called ego, which is difficult due to most people falsly associating themselves with their ego. But like any junkie there will come a time when the pain of maintaining ego will be seen to be greater than the pain of the path to enlightenment.
HI! Yes, I agree with you and thanks for acknowledging Buddha and Frankl. I actually thought of Frankl while writing the article!
Happy New Year!
Jason
Peace is all-ways present, we are the ones that move away inwardly by our thoughts, emotions, judgments etc. I have been meditating for a very long time and now can truthfully say I am peaceful most of the time.
Thank you for your blog
Thanks for "the PEACE". Yes the world is unfolding as it should.
I have to wonder as I sit in my peaceful environment where few live, and hear about LA, Las Vegas, and Atlanta growing so endlessly in the deserts of the US. These cities are aleady living beyond their electric and water demand needs.
It takes me from my peace as I drive into the mountains that rise above the valley 8 miles away. Without closing my eyes I cand transcend the body and its caos. As you returnd and descended to the valley you see the curvature of the earth it self, seeing hundreds of miles laying before you. Adding the many light possiblilities of sun rise to sun set added sparkling glow to this experience. All available for about $1.00 of gas. I truely think this is the most meditative I have and can acheive in the waking state.
Now, hundreds soon to be thousands of windmills are beggining to flurish into this and other areas like this. So LA, Vegas and Alanta can crowd people into these areas. Green to me is becoming cash of foreign investment. But then the people of the US are paying for the windmills, buy the power, and tax free incentive foreign ownership of the means and farmer subsidy's and of course Gods FREE WIND.
Maybe you are right going inside ones self may be the only way of the future. I pray for God's not mans intervention of nature
Thanks you for our insightful wisdom. Although, we do indeed experience peace withing I certainly hope it does not become more and more diminished in nature.
Jason
Jason, what you talk about is very true. I would even venture to say that those individuals who need some harmony in their lives should take a trip to Idyllwild, Sedonna etc...yes, the Inner-Peace does reside in all of us if we give that space opportunity to shine. I agree with you brother- oh, I would also be curious to hear what happens with your friend who sold his beautiful home in West Hollywood. Will he be able to attain his own Inner-peace?
Thanks! I'll keep you posted!!
Jason
Beautiful post. Thank you.
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