Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. ~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524
"We will keep fighting for love!!" declared Dan Choi to thunderous cheers at the Meet in the Middle rally for Gay Marriage in Fresno, CA. It was just four days after the CA Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8. I have great respect for Dan Choi, and I honor his courage for being willing to stand up as the voice for the eradication of DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell). I have great compassion for his recent experience being fired from the Army for coming out. I am also grateful that Barack Obama just signed a proclamation declaring June Gay Pride month. And, I fervently look forward to the day when his words of fierce advocacy for LGBT equality are met by fierce action.
Nonetheless, a more appropriate chant would have been, "We will keep fighting for equal rights and marriage!" Love is not something for which we can fight. Fortunately, love is not tangible. Love does not recognize gender. In all things love only recognizes itself. It cannot be given or taken away by government legislation. The government can obviously uphold myopic forces that are trying to keep marriage all to themselves. But even marriage can't provide love. If it could, wouldn't it help keep the 50% of first time marriages from ending in divorce?!? The government can recklessly uphold laws that would have a Westpoint grad and Arabic Translator like Dan Choi, who is willing to be redeployed to Iraq, fired for being himself. But, the government cannot give or take the freedom to love from anyone.
Let's face it, it was love itself that gave our LGBT ancestors at Stonewall on that fateful night in June, 1969 the courage to stand up fully in their authenticity. That night they resisted being arrested as they had been so many nights before, simply for gathering in public in the West Village of New York City. However, they were not fighting for love. They were demanding their right to gather. Their riots sounded an alarm against homophobic intolerance and oppression that has echoed through the past four decades.
I came out of the closet twenty years after the Stonewall Riots when I was 17. Not many teenagers were coming out of the closet then. It was 1989. Only a few years after Ronald Reagan avoided the words gay and AIDS. Thousands of gay men had to die before he took any action. It was a time when ACT UP was screaming for AIDS treatment even though they had not yet been given a voice. It was a time when well known performance artists like Tim Miller, Karen Finley and Holly Hughes had to go to court to defend their gay, homo-erotic work to the NEA (National Endowment for the Arts). It was a time when legal protection for LGBT people was rarer than it is today.
In this political climate it would have been easy to hate myself, even take my own life as too many young LGBT people still do. However, my inner experience of unconditional love was greater than my internalized homophobia. That inspired me to embrace my personal truth and uniqueness even before I knew I was gay. I believe that many of my lgbt brothers and sisters would also say that it is self love that empowers our community to collectively remain steadfast in our truth.
This gay pride let us remember the example set by our LGBT ancestors 40 years ago. Let us remember it is the love that lives inside of us that compels our full self expression. We can love ourselves AND our partners, regardless of the rhetoric espoused by the CA State Supreme Court, NOM, Protect Marriage, US Military, or Religious Fundamentalists.
My gay and straight brothers and sisters, this Pride let us celebrate the light that shines on humanity when we allow our greatest truth and our greatest love to flow freely. Therein lies the source that ignites the strength to declare, "Our undying freedom to choose love can never be taken from us. That is what empowers us to persevere on the journey to full equality!"
What does Gay Pride mean to you this year? Please comment below. If you believe others can benefit from reading this post "tweet" it or post it on Facebook!
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I am glad you accept democratic process. But vociferous many in the gay community don't.
Proven by all these rather vulgar persecutions of people who voted Yes on 8.
With The S.F. map of names and address of supporters of 8 was a rock- bottom low.
But your complaint that those who made public contributions to support Prop. 8 weren't afforded privacy amounts to a whine. We don't have government restrictions on free speech, but we also don't have magic guarantees against criticism when you exercise that right.
Let's all participate in exercising free speech, shall we. warning: please don't whine when you see it.
It's ironic that heteros against Gay marriage want to deny us the right marriage because of our sexuality when they have those very same rights for the very reason that they're heterosexuals. I'm sorry but all this kumbayah talk is just so much smoke. We pride ourselves as a nation that gives you a fair shake and a chicken in every pot when you know very well that's not what's served up. The only time minorities are given a seat at the table is when politicians realize they may lose their job if they continue to pull the chair out. We should no longer have to accept just words. Action as they say speaks much louder.
Exactly. the people of California have spoken twice-- no gay marriage.
The Supreme Court of California has spoken-no gay marriage.
Next subject.
We can't hear you.
I fervently look forward to the day when his words of fierce advocacy for LGBT equality are met by fierce action.
Find some of the video clips of the political protests of the period, and marvel at the earnest purposefulness and focus of those marchers--not the original riots themselves, but the rather the first protests. They didn't need financial underwriting from beer companies and bars (more booze) and cigarette makers. They had instead a meaningful political agenda. But in the subsequent years of growing tolerance, a complacency set in and the social change got lost in an excuse to have another party. We tried to find meaning in the evening news report of the sheer numbers of attendees (wow, we must be growing), never mind that the number came along with frivolous imagery.
Now we are at a watershed moment. The sense of difference about this time is palpable, and the stakes are high and real. West Hollywood already has a major Halloween carnival; why do we need two annual celebrations of the carnivalesque?
Recently Paris Hilton served as the "grand marshall" of West Hollywood's gay pride celebration. If that isn't a moment of clarity for every serious gay person out there, then I don't know what would be.
I also don't disagree with you about what Pride Festivals themselves have become. However, my article isn't about Pride Festivals. Nor does it once suggest that people should celebrate pride by going to a festival (although that is certainly there choice)
My article distinctly points to the fact that pride can be an inner choice to remember that love is an essence that dwells inside, and to give ourselves permission to stand up fully in our authenticity. That goes for anybody, gay, straight, black, white....
Jason
I support DPA. I reject gay marriage For reasons which are non-religious in nature.
And Cal. Supreme Court decided not to stand in the way of clear expression of voters decision.
How much more abundant can it be?!
It was also around the time I picked up on people trying to convince me what it was supposed to mean to me to be gay. Mostly that I needed to go to more drag shows, do a lot of uppers, and be generally nasty to anyone that didn't fit a set mold.
These days I hear "gay pride" and laugh. Then again, gay to me is sexual preference. Can't wait to see what saying this gets me called.
;-)
Jason
Thanks for your humanity and willingness to see the love!
Jason
Indeed--I agree with you.
Also, I would like to gently direct your attention back to the opening sentence of this "article." I was taken a back when I heard it and heard the crowds response.
Nonetheless, thanks for voicing your argument. I appreciate the input.
Jason
But I personally feel that GL community's betting the house on the issue of gay marriage was/is short sighted. Especially in the light of the developments in California.
As Newton said for every action there's equal and opposite reaction.
"Love" between 15 year old boy and 40 year old man ( or woman) is legislated and punished.
No matter how genuine.
And we, as society decided it was a right thing to do.
So much for that argument. .
I thus conclude that society is not trying to legislate love in the case of adult child relationships, it is trying to preserve and protect innocence, and identify perverse predators. Society is saying adult-child love should not play out in a physical fashion. Most can agree with this and find such legislation rational and moral. Only a pedophile would disagree.
True. I am mot arguing about moral validity of such relationship.
The arugment is about legislating "love"
The Mr. Mannino made an compassionate, but factually wrong argument that "love cannot be legislated." I proved otherwise. Indeed matters to do with mores and morals are habitually legislated.
The real question is: why is some people's love validated and supported, while the love of other people, admittedly a minority, but tax-paying equals nonetheless, is denigrated and not supported? My marriage to my husband benefits society in exactly the same ways that het marriage does. We are each other's support and safety net. We are both of us law abiding, productive, contributing, employed, tax paying members of our community, somethinhg that could not be said of large numbers of people who can marry because they are heterosexual, but otherwise are a drain on society.
We are well thought of by friends, colleagues, neighbors and families. We don't have children, but we have gay friends who do, and they love and support their children in all ways, also benefitting society. And we also love and support those children, giving them extended family that they can rely on.
Yes, this is a good question,
This is how societies self-regulated through out history. Some behaviors are accepted, some are tolerated, and some are rejected outright.
I am SURE Benin some behavior by consenting adults you accept, some you tolerate, and some you reject..
Why act shocked that others feel the same?
Yes I am humbled by my gift of being a gay man, and grateful that God thought enough of me to grant me this gift. The Gift of being alive and able to hopefully make a difference.
Jason
I fully support you sharing your perspective, but not at the expense of someone's personal story. My article was about self-love more than anything, that's what this person's story is commenting on.
I encourage compassionate discourse.
Thank you!
Jason
I served 10 years in the Navy, back well before DADT was even in place. I knew at a young age both that I was gay, and I wanted nothing more than to be in the Navy. I volunteered to join the service right after the Vietnam war, because I wanted to help protect OUR Country. I believe in America, and I believe in the promise of American freedom and I felt I owed whatever it cost to defend that promise. My time I served was not pretty, the homophobic witch hunts, the hate that I was exposed to, voiced to me and in front of my face, by people who may or may not have suspected that I was gay. Well, it hurt, it hurt me bad, But it made me stronger for the experience. I got through those years but it left scars. Scars of the closet, the ultra vigilance that it took to keep from dying a lonely death at sea. I feared the veiled threats of the hints that people spoke of, being caught or suspected of being gay that they would just toss that person overboard late at night. I still have nightmares. But it has made me stronger.
What the world needs now is love sweet love! I love the other day on Oprah Michael Beckwith and a priest where on and told a gay person that being gay/that he was a blessing from God. It made that guy so happy to hear this and he said he felt better about himself just from what they said. do check it out ---
I blew me and deb away. It was sooo true. Just think if God created everything he sure didn't slip up when he made gays
(not that I believe it was done in 7 days or that there is a God as expressed in zee bible)
It was a great moment for that man. You could see his smile...it is so important for people to get through their self hate and stop projecting it on others.
Big Love,
Ed
But the dispute is about marriage, as a social institution.
Regardless of what religious or gay communities say.
Let's not blow smoke into people's eyes and have a coherent dialogue.
First, I want marriage. Equal marriage to the traditional way. No need to fiddle with a whole new classification, or name. No need for a whole new bureaucracy, just marriage will do.
A civil marriage contract has NO requirement, demand, time limit, nor proof of sexual activity, to enter into the contract. Sex is purely OPTIONAL, as are children. Both fall under the contract, but are not a REQUIREMENT to enter into the civil contract of marriage.
Consent is a requirement, both parties must be able to consent freely of there own will. We consider age in the equation of consent, most states you must be as defined, an adult for the purpose of consent.
Now if 2 people of the same gender who are also of the legal age and definition of consent, wish to enter into a civil marriage. What coherent reason does anyone, or any state have to deny the contract?
Unless me/you or anyone else knows what a gay.lesbian relationship is then how are they able to knowif it is real or not. This homophobia that exists is shameful ...my brother has been with a man for over 30 years. Many male/female relationships end in divorce - so wouldn't you say my brother has a more loving honorable meaningful union?
what goes on between any 2 people over the legal age is sacred and all people should mind their own business. It is stupidity to believe/judge and what right does anyone -- ---
in the future people will laugh at all this....it use to be women couldn't vote--
blacks couldn't go in the same restrooms as whites. Let's make peace not war - we all need to respect each other and be just a bit kinder
May all people be happy,
Ed
I believe it's true that many people don't see the gifts that LGBT people offer society. (stay tuned for an article on that one). I think I also saw the clip you mention.
Thanks for your undying support!
Love,
Jason