Oh No, He Drank Orange Juice at the Bowling Alley!

(WARNING: THIS POST MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO IDIOTS.)

In case you were wondering whether or not you're an idiot, wonder no more:

If you think it's important that a candidate is a bad bowler, or drinks orange juice instead of coffee, then you are an idiot!

If you think that Americans aren't bitter because of the crap they've had to put up with for the past 8 years, then you are an idiot!

If you think that a guy with 10 homes who's been in Washington for 25 years, and a woman who's lived in an air tight, 109 million dollar bubble for the past 10 years are more in touch with "real" Americans than a guy who's been in Washington for 2 years, was raised by a single mom, and started his post college life as a community organizer in the inner city, then--say it with me--you are an idiot!

If you think that we should run a candidate based on being afraid of what the right wing fanatics are going to "beat us over the head with", then you are not only an idiot, you are a coward!

And, finally, if you think that Barack Obama is a Muslim, then, yes, it's time to accept the fact that you are an idiot.

Comments

[BBackSoon]

03:44 PM on 04/14/2008

OK I agree with you and we have a whole bunch of Idiots in this county. And unfortunately, things like Gay Marriage and Stem Cell Research will sway them. We have people that will react to these issues with the same knee jerk response as when someone says to them ‘That guy over there, said You Suck!’

We have but one chance at this. If we lose to McCain then it is the end of America. And while I don’t feel Clinton will drive the same stakes into the heart I don’t see her aggressively performing CPR either. That leaves me with but one choice at this time.

[Desiderata]

03:25 PM on 04/14/2008

And this is how Clinton believes she can win, by not overestimating our intelligence. How idiotic of her.

[Herrington]

02:09 PM on 04/14/2008

Haven't you heard Rothenberg? Smart is the new dumb. The RNC, gatekeepers of the truth, tell us that people who were formerly considered to be "smart" are actually the dumb ones, because they do not see the necessity to conform to the truth(tm), hopelessly relying on the vacant and bankrupt notion that they can think for themselves. Sad little democrat, Its a brave new world. The good news, we don't have to think about it anymore, the truth ministry will just tell us when, where and how to "vote". So much easier.

[MPeter]

01:17 PM on 04/14/2008

Yep, we all are idiots for rejecting Washington insiders' wisdom! Bill and Hillary just made a cool $800,000 from the govt of Colombia and that crook Penn made $300,000, all for screwing us out of our jobs. Yet, they still expect us to cheer them on and to clap when they fake their outrage the same way Hillary faked tears in NH!! Do not be conned twice. Run them out of town this time.

[DietrichMoody]

01:14 PM on 04/14/2008

Oh Jason, you could have been more artful with your words. heh. But you know, when people are frustrated and bitter - they is no better way to say it. And when people are idiots, they're idiots. Thanks for making me laugh. Great post.

[ErinBerin84]

01:13 PM on 04/14/2008

I still can't believe that orange juice-gate wasn't a parody.

I was watching CSpan yesterday, and a woman called in and said "Obama was raised Muslim. Once it's there, it doesn't go away. It's in there. It stays with you." (apparently being a Muslim is now an STD or something)
The reporter kept a straight face and said "Well, but it's not true. He was never a Muslim, he was not raised as a Muslim."
The woman paused for a moment and said "Oh..Oh, he's not? Oops! I guess I must be mistaken!" and hung up.