It has come to light that the Republican Senator from Idaho was arrested in June for "lewd conduct" at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.
People, people, people! "Lewd behavior"?! The truth of what went on couldn't be farther from what Senator Craig has been accused of.
In the interest of justice and freedom of expression I have gathered a few examples of the communication known to every guy who has ever used a public restroom. As you'll soon see, when the sensitive Senator "tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my (the cop's) foot" he was simply communicating.
"Hi. Where are you from?" TAP, TAP, TAP, BRUSH
"Do you have a quarter?" TAP, BRUSH, BRUSH, FLUSH, TAP
"Got poppers?" LAUGH, CRY, MAKE "UGH!" SOUND, FLUSH
"I love Burger King." BRUSH, FLUSH, COUGH
"I have a papercut." MUMBLE LOUDLY
"Hot or Not?" UNROLL FULL TUBE OF PAPER ONTO FLOOR
"Don't you LOVE Amazon.com?" TAP,TAP, TAP, TAP, BURP
"I just arrived from Phoenix." FLUSH, BRUSH, JOG IN PLACE
"Borrrrrring." STOMP, FLUSH
"Do you read the Herald Tribune?" TOUCH, HIT WALL, FLUSH
"I would like to kiss you. Cool?" MAKE KISSING SOUND, FLUSH
"Do you miss Kurt Cobain? I do." MAKE CRYING SOUND, VOMIT, FLUSH, REPEAT
"Are you a cop?" MAKE "WOO WOO" SOUND
"I'm a Republican Senator, what do you do?" URINATE, FLUSH, URINATE
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