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Jay Clark

Entries by Jay Clark

How Not to Plan a Wedding in 8 Easy Steps

(2) Comments | Posted September 16, 2014 | 6:05 PM

1. Before you do anything else, ask your friends and family how they think you should get married. Get as many opinions as possible -- it's always better to make highly personal decisions with the doubts of others swirling around inside your head.

2. Hire a travel agent and pay...

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How To Take A Cheesy Engagement Pic

(0) Comments | Posted October 20, 2012 | 1:18 PM

Contrary to popular believe, it is easy being cheesy ... when you follow my easy-breezy-cheesy engagement-photo-taking tips, that is! Check out the below methodology and become the cheese whiz you never really wanted to be. Don't worry, I'll be here posing awkwardly by your side, every step of the way....

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The Clark Family Olympics

(0) Comments | Posted July 26, 2012 | 1:23 PM

Some families watch the Olympics from the comfort of their own homes, other families hold their own freaking Olympics while on vacation together.* Count the Clark's in the latter camp, please, and give us a shiny gold medal-of-crazy while you're at it. Just kidding, we're not crazy. (We're kind of...

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How to Nail Your Next Karaoke Performance

(1) Comments | Posted July 23, 2012 | 9:24 AM

Karaoke is (sort of) an art. Everyone can do it, but not everyone can, to quote American Idol's increasingly irrelevant Randy Jackson, "blow it out da box." Which is why I came up with these amazing tips on my ten-minute car ride to work this morning. Because I care about...

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You Know You're Turning 30 Soon When...

(1) Comments | Posted July 19, 2012 | 9:54 AM

• You try telling yourself you're already 30 in a sorry attempt to get used to the idea. (It's not effective.)
• You can no longer use the term "quarter-life crisis," because it's not (yet!) scientifically possible for you to live till 120. So, yeah, what you're experiencing now...

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Why Even Perfect Couples Fight

(3) Comments | Posted July 17, 2012 | 11:53 AM

If you happened to spot my fiancee and I walking through the park and holding hands like we're in love or something, you'd probably want to barf. You might even expect Mr. Bluebird to land on her shoulder. But you'd never suspect that we just got done fighting about our...

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Ten Tips for Nabbing Yourself a Literary Agent

(16) Comments | Posted June 25, 2012 | 12:06 PM

So, after years of torturing yourself beyond emotional repair, making several highly unnecessary sacrifices to the gods, and, finally, signing a contract (in blood) entitled Deal with the Devil, you've managed to finish your book. Yay! But here's the funny thing about those esteemed publishers you've had your eye on...

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