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Jay Dyckman

Entries by Jay Dyckman

Is That All You Got, Texas?

(0) Comments | Posted September 1, 2011 | 6:51 PM

A federal judge on Tuesday struck down a key provision of Texas' new law requiring a doctor to perform a sonogram before an abortion, ruling that the measure violates the free speech rights of both doctors and patients.
- NY TIMES, 8/30/11

A sonogram? That's it?

Frankly, Texas, I'm...

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A Handy Guide To Olympic Ice Dancing

(6) Comments | Posted February 4, 2010 | 3:50 PM

With the unfortunate controversy surrounding a Russian World Champion Ice Dancing team's recent "tribute" to aboriginal people, the Vancouver Tourism Bureau would like to offer this informative Q & A to aid in your enjoyment of this frequently misunderstood event. Enjoy!

Q: I'm sorry, did you say Ice...

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The Make-Another-Wish Foundation

(7) Comments | Posted April 9, 2009 | 4:08 PM

Dear Bobby,

Hey there, little tiger. We here at the Make-A-Wish Foundation were very moved by your letter and applaud your courageous battle. You certainly deserve the moon and stars. And while we would LOVE to set up a meeting with the Jonas Brothers, your wish is a little, how...

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Sexiest Man Alive, the Quiz!

(0) Comments | Posted November 20, 2008 | 8:36 AM

Congratulation Hugh Jackman on winning the only honor more prestigious than the Nobel Peace Prize! When told he won People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, Jackman was overcome with emotion, gushing "Oh . . . my . . . God." But how did past sexy winners respond to their shameless objectification?...

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"Yes on Proposition 8" Gets the Message Out

(0) Comments | Posted October 27, 2008 | 10:18 AM


(BILLY TAYLOR, 6, arrives home from school.)

BILLY: Mom, guess what I learned in school today? I learned that a prince can marry another prince!

MOM: (Horrified.) What?

(She grabs from BILLY an illustrated children's book depicting two men in love.)

BILLY: That means I...

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Face the Mirror, McCain

(0) Comments | Posted September 10, 2008 | 5:25 PM

How can you look at yourself in the mirror, Senator?

McCain has become a pathetic shell of a man. He built a career in government based on personal integrity and decency. Although he was never perfect--he has an ugly temper and once made a cruel joke about the unattractiveness...

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Entourage: Season 5 Spoiler Alert!

(0) Comments | Posted September 2, 2008 | 12:30 PM

Think Entourage is an all-style-no-substance show about five guys living charmed lives?'re right! But this season the writing staff digs deep and keeps it real.

Episode 1: Vince undergoes a requisite physical before production starts on his new blockbuster movie. Bad news. He has syphilis. The gang is...

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Vladimir Putin vs...Ms. Congeniality? Oh Sh*t!

(0) Comments | Posted August 30, 2008 | 11:04 AM

Pushing back hard on NATO's decision to install a missile-defense system in Eastern Europe, Russia invades and occupies Poland. Former Ms. Congeniality and current President of the United States of America Sarah Palin steps to the mic and prepares to address the nation:

Let me just start by saying...

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The Only TV Ad That Will Save McCain

(0) Comments | Posted July 29, 2008 | 12:13 AM

[Close up of John McCain driving Porsche. Cindy McCain rides in passenger seat.]

What up, America? McCain here. Hey, I know things are bad right now. You've lost your house, maybe your job. It's ugly out there. Well, I know ugly. I divorced ugly. Left...

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Revelations in Scott McClellan's Memoirs

(0) Comments | Posted May 28, 2008 | 8:13 AM

In his memoirs, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception, former White House press secretary Scott McClellan reveals that Bush "convinces himself to believe what suits his needs at the moment," and was not "open or forthright on Iraq."

What?? OMFG! What else? Is...

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Hillary and I "Feel Very Strongly About This!"

(0) Comments | Posted May 21, 2008 | 7:27 PM

Champion of democracy, Hillary Clinton, has stated that she will take the fight to seat the DNC-rule-breaking Florida and Michigan delegates to the convention. She feels "very strongly about this."

Hillary and I are so in sync it scares me. I feel exactly the same way about a...

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If The Democratic Primary Were a Movie, Hillary Would Be...The Sequel!

(0) Comments | Posted May 7, 2008 | 3:05 PM

Two weeks ago I cast the Clintonator. After Indiana and North Carolina, it looks like she refuses to call "cut." Time for the sequel:

A Cry in the Dark: The dingo that ate Meryl Streep's baby.

Poseidon: The entire movie.

Alien: The alien.

Dirty Dancing: The guy...

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If the Democratic Primary Were a Movie, Hillary Would Be:

(0) Comments | Posted April 23, 2008 | 6:46 AM

Johnny Lawrence in The Karate Kid.
Think about it: She's adopted the Cobra Kai ethos: "Strike First. Strike Hard. No Mercy." She's totally picking on the skinny, new kid. And she and actor William Zabka have more or less the same haircut. And, even though it's illegal and...

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Not So Fast, Pops

(0) Comments | Posted February 11, 2008 | 4:26 PM

Unless enough Republicans in Virginia, Maryland and D.C. still believe the Earth is flat, Senator John McCain will soon lock up the Republican nomination. My own political affiliations aside, I'm troubled by this.

Come November, McCain will be 72 years old. Now, I love my father more than life itself,...

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Cry On, Sister!

(0) Comments | Posted January 10, 2008 | 9:30 AM

So the Granite State crumbled in the face of some tears. Does that really surprise anyone? Not me. I say "Let it rain, Hillary. It's morning in mascara-streaked America and I love it!"

First things first. Were the tears real? Tough to say, but my money's on yes. Face the...

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It's a Good Day to Be a Republican

(0) Comments | Posted January 3, 2008 | 10:08 AM

Yep, you heard that right. This is the one day of the year that it is better to be a Republican.

If you live in Iowa, that is.

The Republicans have this caucus thing exactly right. You show up, write the name of the candidate you want on a slip...

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I Am Legend, Too

(0) Comments | Posted December 17, 2007 | 11:09 AM

As anyone not in a vegetative state is aware, Will Smith stars in the new blockbuster, I am Legend. But, considering his campaign, it really should be called, I am Legend: The Rudy Giuliani Story.

You see, the movie is all about the last man standing in a post-apocalyptic...

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GOP Candidate Missed Connections

(0) Comments | Posted December 11, 2007 | 11:39 PM

Dec. 5 - The cutie in Iowa City! - w4m

You were sitting with your advisor at the counter when my girlfriend and I came in for brunch. I LOVE Law & Order!! We locked eyes a beat too long for casual. I hoped you'd come over to chat, but...

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Bush to America: How You Doin'?

(0) Comments | Posted December 5, 2007 | 9:34 AM

Did I see that right? Did our president really wink at the end of his press conference?

It couldn't be. He was discussing a massive failure by our intelligence agencies. Again. But he winked at someone on the way out. And gave a smile-smirk.

Jesus, he's the guy...

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I'm for Fred Thompson Because I Am Fred Thompson

(0) Comments | Posted November 13, 2007 | 1:46 AM

Fred Thompson spent seven wholly uninspired years in the Senate. He lacks charm, isn't funny, thinks we're still fighting the Cold War and was in that piece of cinematic genocide, Curly Sue.

And his Arthur Branch was just total bullshit compared to the curmudgeonly genius of Adam Schiff.

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