While parents work the waitlists, high school seniors agonize about where to send in their deposits. Students dutifully go on tours during admitted student events in hopes of achieving the clarity they need to make life-changing decisions. But instead of checking out the seminars taught by Nobel winners or evaluating the neuroscience research opportunities, they tend to focus on the prep/goth/nerd quotient or whether you can use your meal points to order a thin crust margherita pizza.
Here are some of the ridiculous reasons that kids dismiss some excellent colleges:
1. Dislike of archways
2. No Chipotle within walking distance
3. "I don't know anyone there."
4. "I know too many people there."
5. Aversion to tour guides' footwear (five-toed multiport sneakers) or headwear (Sherpa cap)
6. Tour guide too smug ("In my spare time I'm a midwife, and since returning from Uganda, I've started an NGO that installs solar panels in orphanages.")
7. Annoying bell tower
8. Too many Harry Potter references during info session
9. Not enough/too many vegan options in dining hall
10. Aversion to architecture: too Georgian, too Gothic, too Taco Bell
11. Too many mentions of how Oceanography course changed tour guide's life
12. Tour guide's resemblance to Justin Bieber
13. Too many homeless people
14. Professors look like homeless people
15. Aversion to upstate NY ("Upstate NY is for camp, not college")
16. Tour guide's repeated mention of a cappella groups and/or squirrel clubs
18. Woodland creatures: deer, raccoons, skunks
19. Aversion to school colors
20. Townies reminiscent of characters in "Deliverance," "Big Love," or "Jersey Shore"
21. Mean parking attendant
22. Long line for the ellipticals at the gym
23. Lame Latin words in school motto
24. Emma Watson transferred out
25. School is parents' first choice
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