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Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W.

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Can Dieters And Mindful Eaters Coexist?

Posted: 08/04/11 09:35 AM ET

Can a diet researcher and a mindful-eating expert see eye to eye on antidotes to the obesity epidemic?

That is the question that inspires Susan Roberts, a Tufts University nutrition professor, to recently invite me, a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist, to break bread. The overweight majority may be able to imagine the sizable challenge we face at the dinner table, but maybe not the minority who've never dieted. In reality, the dieting and mindful-eating worlds rarely collide. And when they do, the collision is like a merciless tackle at a Harvard-Yale football game. Therefore, I expect us to butt heads before dessert, but (pleasantly) dinner defies my expectations.

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As she whisks my coat from my arms and dinner from the microwave, it's clear that this efficient career woman and I have a few things in common. We both live west of Boston -- but neither fashion ourselves like suburban housewives. With our no-fuss hairstyles and bookish glasses, our dinner wear is casual academic. I could have been as comfortable in her salmon buttoned-down blouse and black cords as I am in my floral peasant shirt and khakis.

We're both cat people, too, though her sleek Ocicats make my rescue kitty look portly. What's more, personal eating struggles set us on similar career paths. Yet professional experience couldn't have brought us further apart in our approaches to sustainable weight loss.

Susan insists clients trust her methods while they learn how to get weight loss working -- including a healthy respect for the five "instincts" that are pillars of her diet book, "The "I" Diet." Exactly why many clients put their trust in the British-Canadian nutritionist is probably some combination of her average 30-pound weight loss and her enticing claim that the diet cures cravings. In Susan's experience, overeaters shouldn't trust their current food preferences since being overweight changes what people like to eat. In fact, she retrains them to enjoy the foods that help weight control.

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I put more trust in my clients' innate interest in a nutritious diet. Cultivate awareness with self-compassion, I suggest, and let your inner wisdom be your guide. Rather than relying on the outer wisdom of diet experts, trust your tastebuds, feel your hunger and you'll become satisfied with the quality -- not the quantity -- of food. That's my message to current clients with eating issues and the theme of my new mindful weight-loss guide, "The Self-Compassion Diet."

Sitting down to recipes straight from Susan's diet, we dig into our differences through Northern Italian lasagna and spinach salad. Deprivation and self-criticism associated with dieting has fueled America's obesity problem, I assert. Self-compassion can help solve it. Susan disagrees: the toxic food environment has led people down the wrong path, and learning how to get your food instincts working for you rights that wrong.

"Failing dieters need practical help," she adds with sincerity. "They do better when they are shown what and how to eat to get weight loss working."

The earnest nutritionist in her brings out the frank psychotherapist in me. Or maybe it's the wine that emboldens me.

"Do clients enjoy your recipes," I ask, poking at my whole-grain noodles. Preferring pasta pearly white, this dish is not my thing.

"That's their favorite part of the plan," says the author, who, in her past career, worked as a chef. "Remember, most overweight people love good food. Between the comfort food, Mexican, Chinese, Indian and desserts, they get every kind of dish converted to tasty diet recipes."

"And you," she asks. "Is this the kind of food you enjoy?"

"To be perfectly honest," I admit, "I like my food spicier. This is kinda bland."

"You don't like comfort food," she asks without defensiveness. "What do you like to eat?"

That Susan's genuinely curious about my diet is a hopeful surprise. If we can find common ground, maybe other mindful eaters and dieters can, too. Not simply agreeing to disagree, but joining forces in the battle of the bulge.

Susan gets excited when I tell her my clients, too, have lost 30-plus pounds. I'm off thinking about the next dinner before I clean my plate. I'll cook. Spice things up. Invite her to taste my kinder, gentler recipe for sustainable slimness.

And then she brings me back to this meal.

"If we collaborate," she wonders aloud, "do you think the average person could lose 60?"

**

Jean Fain is a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues, and the author of "The Self-Compassion Diet." For more information, see www.jeanfain.com. Got a thing or two to say about dieting vs. mindful eating? Please share in the comments section.


 
 
 
Can a diet researcher and a mindful-eating expert see eye to eye on antidotes to the obesity epidemic? That is the question that inspires Susan Roberts, a Tufts University nutrition professor, to...
Can a diet researcher and a mindful-eating expert see eye to eye on antidotes to the obesity epidemic? That is the question that inspires Susan Roberts, a Tufts University nutrition professor, to...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W.
Author of "The Self-Compassion Diet"
07:17 AM on 08/06/2011
Deah, Thanks for bringing your view into this public discussion. I'm sure that even if readers don't share your Health At Every Size (HAES) perspective, the overwhelming majority would agree that health is of the utmost importance. Let me also say that you're right, I didn't once use the word "health." One because "self-compassion" means taking good care of yourself, including your health. And two, because, it's impossible to discuss every belief in every piece. Like you, for example, failed to mention that you know me and you know I care about health and well being. I assume you purposefully excluded those two little facts because you were trying to make a point. The point of my article: weight loss is a personal journey. Health, too. There's no one right way. As for my cat, he's more in your camp. He just not that into weight loss.
11:14 AM on 08/06/2011
Lol, I'm sure your cat feels great about his/her body! And thanks for your reply! Of course I know you care about health and well being. I guess my wish is that because you have such a visible platform to talk about these issues that you'd slip it in when possible. For those folks that haven't read your book they may not generalize self compassion to mean health and well being. You do an amazing job explaining the connection in your book.
06:59 PM on 08/05/2011
If this article even once had mentioned health as an outcome or goal for either of the diets discussed, I could have hopped on board. The focus on "weight lost", "pounds lost," "battle of the bulge" was so overpowering that even the poor feline was described as "portly" in a way that implied "not as good as" the thinner cats. (To no fault of the cat whose diet is most likely provided by a mindful eating nutritionist). Helping someone to establish a relationship with food where the person does not feel trapped and helpless by their urges and cravings is a wonderful and worthwhile goal; quality of life improves as compulsion and obsession diminish. Why do we still have to sing the praises of recipes and lifestyle eating habits aka diets, based on whether a person reports a 30 or 60 pound weight loss. How long do the d (i) eters keep the weight off? Call it instinct, call it intuitive, call it impulse control...package these interventions any way you want and they are still diets that preach the old tenets: losing weight is good, being fat is bad, being thin is really good. "i" think it's time for a paradigm shift. Thanks for letting me speak my mind. Dr. Deah Schwartz, leftoverstogo.com
08:37 AM on 08/05/2011
Good article. I believe living a healthy lifestyle that includes healthy eating and regular exercise is a personal choice just like most things in life are. I'm presently sitting at a coffee shop watching two people order. One person looks to be in great physical condition and ordered a regular coffee and a breakfast wrap (egg and turkey on a whole wheat tortilla). The other person is very over weight and has ordered a high calorie beverage and two huge chocolate chip cookies. Judging the physical condition of these two individual, I'm sure each make the same kind of dietary choices everyday.
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Ms NYC
Republicans for Voldemort
08:53 AM on 08/05/2011
It amazes me what people eat. They think you have to choose between salad and burgers with fries when there is a world of food in between.
05:59 AM on 08/05/2011
I don't believe dieting is the answer. I think that being aware of calories and portion size is important. I try to make healthy decisions every day and I try to burn extra calories whenever I can. I do bikram yoga once a week and I walk daily wearing SmartSole exercise insoles.

http://www.smartsole.com
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
crom14
05:51 AM on 08/05/2011
Planning my menu and what I will eat has changed my life. It takes much of my time, but, so worth it!
11:23 AM on 08/04/2011
Hi Jean, Great article. It's a slippery slope isn't it? Drastically changing one's behavior with the end result being weight loss and hopefully a healthier lifestyle? That's what I did. For me to have continued to eat the same foods even in moderation would not have led me to drop 130 lbs. Yes there are lots of ways to change patterns and behavior, but I have found for me, and my face book friends, that undoing old patterns and learning new one's that include new recipes for healthier foods with the addition of physical activity is the sure fire way to success. If I allowed myself to have pasta in the house - even a small portion of it; I'd be too tempted to go back and have more. I'll stick with my healthy stir fry with whole grains instead and hit the gym. Happy eating!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W.
Author of "The Self-Compassion Diet"
12:14 PM on 08/04/2011
Yes, weight-loss is a journey, and you've got no choice but to find your way. Lose it your way. Clearly, I'm preaching to the choir here. 130 lbs! Congratulations!
09:49 AM on 08/04/2011
"Deprivation and self-criticism associated with dieting has fueled America's obesity problem, I assert. "

i tend to partially agree, the most important thing about any diet is being able to adhere to it, and research has shown that diets that practice food avoidance tend to have the worst adherence rates

so bottom line, eat what you want but in moderation
08:56 AM on 08/04/2011
I loved this article. I'm with you, Jean, for the most part, but there is some wisdom in Ms. Robert's approach too. I think our taste buds have become a little corrupted with all the fakey foods we've been eating. I would love to see you join forces and come up with an approach that honors our innate wisdom AND resets those instincts back to normal. :):):)
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W.
Author of "The Self-Compassion Diet"
09:41 AM on 08/04/2011
Yes, there's a lot to be said for Susan Roberts' good work. I agree!