The war on childhood obesity has been waging for some time now, but the battle over the best plan of attack is coming to a head this week. Why now? Because the opposing forces have been mobilized by the war cries of two unlikely generals -- a filmmaker and a children's book author.
If you've somehow missed the war coverage, you may not know of Darryl Roberts, filmmaker of the documentary "America the Beautiful 2," or Paul Kramer, author of the children's book "Maggie Goes on A Diet."
At the heart of the firestorm is Kramer's book about a 14-year-old girl who goes on a diet. The criticism centers on the book's alleged thinner-is-happier message and the intended audience's vulnerability. The sing-song story may revolve around an adolescent girl, but Barnes & Noble's website puts its readers at six- to 12-year olds; and Amazon.com at four- to 8-year olds.
To protect young readers from eating disorders and other unintended consequences, concerned parents and healthcare experts are expressing their outrage anywhere they can -- from ABC and CNN to mommy blogs and Facebook. Writes one incensed critic on the Facebook page, "Boycott 'Maggie Goes On a Diet' by Paul M. Kramer": "What kind of message are you trying to send -- telling young girls that its ok to diet because it will make you popular. Like seriously, this is not right at all!" Writes another: "The sequel will be -- Maggie Gains Back the Weight, and then maybe Maggie Goes to the Hospital and Stays for a Long Time."
When Roberts heard that Kramer's book would be published mid-October, he wanted to counter the book's potentially harmful message with a healthier, happier one. To that end, he decided to release his film about America's unhealthy obsession with dieting this very same week.
I thought about doing what author Michelle May and other intuitive eating professionals have done -- publicly weighing in on the controversy. But my curiosity propelled me to do something completely different: visit the enemy camps and talk with both generals. To get to the bottom of the conflict, I put in a call to the opposing camps.
I'll admit it: I was biased by the book's cover and by the filmmaker's interview. I imagined the author to be the devil incarnate -- someone whose idea of fun is teasing, if not abusing, fat kids. Then I read the book and spoke with the author.
What follows are highlights from my two recent long-distance conversations. As you read both sets of answers to questions, I invite you to follow my lead. Do your best to set aside biases, postpone reactions and open your mind. After all is said and done, by all means, speak your mind. Judging from my own experience, the conclusion you ultimately reach may come as a complete surprise. In any event, relax, take a deep breath, let it out slowly and read on.
Darryl Roberts' films, including "America The Beautiful 2," tackle current social issues, from relationships and beauty to dieting and weight discrimination.
Q. Why did you decide to make the film "America the Beautiful 2"?
A. I wanted to help people develop more acceptance and self-love. Not to base their self-worth on conforming to what society says you should be -- an ideal body-size or the BMI [body mass index] number. But to truly understand that you should become the best you can. And that can't be measured by a number.
Q. Did your decision have anything to do with your own eating issues?
A. I went to the doctor and found out I had high blood pressure and a few other things. The doctor basically told me I was at high risk for stroke and she tried to give me pills. When I learned one of the side effects is erectile dysfunction, I thought, "Nope, not doing that." So I bought a bike and started riding 12 miles a day; I put more broccoli and cauliflower in my meals. When I went back to the doctor's in 60 days I was in perfect health. She was dumbfounded when she learned I didn't take the pills. We have to be CEOs of our own health. If we give our health to doctors or the government, we fall prey to capitalist interests. Our health is too important not to take control of ourselves.
Q. I trust you've heard of Paul Kramer's "Maggie Goes on A Diet." What was your reaction?
A. Oh my goodness gracious. I haven't read the book, but I read [excerpted] quotes. The overriding message is if you're thin, life is better. That's absolutely the wrong message! You don't have to be thin to be healthy. You can be healthy at a wide range of sizes. Young girls have enough to worry about without adding the message that in order to conquer adversity, you have to diet. We have to protect our children. Everyone's looking at today's youth as advertising opportunities, and it's screwing them up. A 6-year-old shouldn't be reading a book about someone who lost weight, became popular and life became better.
Q. If you were to talk with Paul Kramer, what would you like to say to him?
A. I wonder if he has daughters. I'd like to ask him if he understands how damaging his message is for young girls.
Q. Because I write about self-compassion and diet, I always ask interview subjects what's self-compassion got to do with it, with your film?
A. Being compassionate to yourself is a precursor to loving yourself. When you love yourself, you become more accepting of yourself. That's really what I want to do with this film. See if with love, personal responsibility will come in naturally. Without telling you that you don't want to be sick, you don't want to abuse your body, you don't want to deny yourself, you just do it [take care of yourself] responsibly because you're taking care of your temple.
Q. Anything else you'd like to say?
A. I'd never dieted, but I did [go on a diet] in this movie to prove a point. Dieting is miserable. It's absolutely no way to live, and yet many people do it over and over again. The notion that the diet industry, the pharmaceutical industry or any industry is going to become compassionate toward us is never going to happen. We have to band together and start loving each other. We have to start getting beyond the physical and into deeper areas of relating to each other. Then those industries will go bankrupt.
Paul Kramer's books, including "Maggie Goes on A Diet," tackle common children's issues, including bullying, divorce, bed wetting and weight loss.
Q. Why did you decide to write "Maggie Goes on A Diet"?
A. I see children and I know that they suffer. I want to let them know that they're not alone, that everyone has problems, that they can overcome their problems. It's just a question of learning what to do.
Q. Did your decision have anything to do with your own eating issues?
A. I've always had a problem with obesity. As a chubby kid, I ate a lot of junk food. I was teased a few times, but I was pretty strong. Like Maggie, I shrugged it off. I never went on a diet, but, at times, I tried to eat very little or only non-caloric foods. But, like you say, traditional diets don't work. Eating portions of tasteless food only leads to binging. In my book, Maggie didn't eat small portions. She ate healthier foods, as much as she wanted, and began to enjoy them.
Q. I trust you've heard of "America The Beautiful 2." What's your reaction to filmmaker Darryl Roberts releasing his documentary the same week as your book?
A. I think he's basically done it for the press. He hasn't read the book. If someone hasn't read the book, then they're guilty of judging the book by its cover. They're guilty of repeating innuendo, rumors, making rumors worse. I don't think thin kids are better [as Roberts has suggested]. My [16-year-old] son is perfectly sized, but if he were obese, I would love him just the same. I would try to help him understand how to get healthier, how not to be obese, but I wouldn't love him less.
Q. If you were to talk with Darryl Roberts, what would you like to say to him?
A. When I'm angered, I don't always think as clearly as I could when I think it through. [At this point,] I wouldn't want to waste my breath.
Q. Because I write about self-compassion and diet, I always ask interview subjects what's self-compassion got to do with it, with your book?
A. I'm trying to be kind to human kind. I'm part of human kind.
Q. Anything else you'd like to say?
A. I wish people would give Maggie some credit. She loves soccer. She works hard to run faster and faster as she shed her pounds. She should be given credit for her accomplishments, that she lost weight on her own without being pushed or embarrassed. Why should people have a problem that she made friends with kids who respected her for what she did? Why aren't people looking at this book from a positive outlook?
After all was said and done, here's what I concluded: Kramer and Roberts are far from opposing forces. They're actually fighting the same fight. Hear me out: Kramer isn't the ardent dieter Roberts assumes him to be. In fact, both men are more committed than ever to eating healthier, exercising regularly and losing weight. They're also both committed to doing their part in winning the war on childhood obesity. Rather than assuming adversarial positions, a better strategy, as far-fetched as it may sound, might be joining forces. Or as Roberts suggests: banding together, loving one another.
Personally, I've decided to try not to take sides, to maintain my journalistic neutrality, at least for the duration of this blog. (When Ellen DeGeneres gets around to calling, I'll happily let loose then.) Taking a neutral position, I'm well aware, may open me to more criticism than taking a side. I'm going to risk that, keeping my opinions to myself in order to leave space for yours. I'm also going to suggest you take another deep breath, let it out slowly. Then join me in putting down your arms, stepping back and taking a wider view of the conflict. There's no harm in seeing what a difference compassion makes, or in listening to the other side.
Jean Fain is a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues, and the author of "The Self-Compassion Diet." For more information, see www.jeanfain.com. Got a thing or two to say about any of the above? Please share in the comments section. Hungry for more information? Read my previous blog "Can Dieters and Mindful Eaters Coexist?"
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I hated that someone has to make weight the crux of what they perceive what her worth is. And I was thrilled with her response.
Warmly, Dr. Deah Schwartz, www.leftoverstogo.com
I hope you know me well enough to know that I'm not defending bullying, the BMI or the bathroom scale, just bringing the discussion to a wider audience. Also, in underscoring similiarities, as opposed to differences, between the author and the filmmaker, my hope is to inspire the necessary introspection for challenging one's own longstanding assumptions. Clearly, not everyone is up for the challenge, especially those like yourself, who've already given this controversy a lot of careful thought. As always, I thank you for your thoughtful commentary and your kindness. Jean
Warmly, Deah
They may both focus on healthful eating and exercise, but the truth is that even if we all ate the same and moved the same, we wouldn't weight the same. What if Maggie changed her eating and exercise habits, but didn't lose weight? As a therapist who's sat with thousands of people who've struggled with eating/weight issues, one of the most damaging results of failed diets is the shame people feel that there must be something wrong with them.
Roberts suggestion that we stop obsessing about body size and learn how to really take care of ourselves fits my definition of compassion. I don't doubt that Kramer believes his intentions are compassionate, but he crosses the line by even daring to use the word "diet" for children. If Kramer means kids should eat healthfully, why put "diet" in the title? Diet restrictions often leads to bingeing, and people get caught in a yo-yo diet cycle that can last a lifetime. The kids hearing that story and believing diets are the solution to problems are likely to be the same folks I'll be seeing in my office 20 years from now as I help them to quit dieting and become "diet survivors."
I'll say it again: Just take weight out of the equation.
More info at www.dietsurvivors.com
Jean
As for the substance of the piece, I land in the middle as well. I think it's wrong to judge something if you haven't even read it, but I'm a little nervous about the idea of marketing a diet book to children. At the end of the day, it comes down to what the parents do, I guess.
Children burn calories like crazy, but they don't burn them if they can't get off their butt. When we were kids, myself just over the 40 year crest, ate lots of junk food but we were always outside, running around, playing. I hardly ever watched my 14 inch black and white 50 pound television, I was more interested on how dangerous of a trick I could perform on my Big Wheel without needing an extensive coverage of gauze.
Activity has a hidden effect, you tend not to eat when you are outside playing. I know when I hunker down on my personal butt indented sofa I tend to snack with almost every intake of breath, but when I am outside playing, I am more concerned about fluids.
So lets focus on fixing the real issue while instilling healthy eating habits.