If you've ever tried to have a meaningful conversation with someone who is tech-obsessed, you know how futile your efforts can be. It doesn't help that they're hunched over, heads down, their darting eyes can't focus on yours (when they deign to look up from their BlackBerrys) and they nod a lot at random times to give the impression that they're listening, but are so clearly not. They may either apologize for their manic thumbs with an "I'm sorry, I just have to answer this email" or forgo social etiquette altogether and just type away in your presence.
Ms. Manners would not approve.
Sadly, this kind of interaction is becoming more common in our lights-flashing, sound-beeping, always-connected culture and more are being lured onto the digital bandwagon every day. Did you know that the average computer user checks 40 websites a day and can switch programs 36 times an hour? And that a recent Harris Interactive study found that 72 percent of people identify bad mobile-phone behavior as a major pet peeve, but only 18 percent admit they are guilty of such behavior? We laud technology for its ability for instant communication and how it enables connectedness, but over usage and over-dependence can have the exact opposite effect.
Daniel Sieberg, tech guru and correspondent for major networks like ABC, MSNBC, CBS and CNN, too found himself becoming a victim of this effect from his digital overindulgence. It came to a head on what was supposed to a romantic getaway with his wife to Provence. Instead of enjoying the beauty that surrounded him, all Sieberg could do was stay connected -- quite the opposite of what was intended. He says, "As the days went by, my wife's palpable frustration grew in direct proportion to my increasing Internet use. She made it clear that I seemed to be choosing the gadgets over her." And he was. He knew something had to change.
As a result of his desire to "de-tech" and streamline his own technology intake, the idea for his book, The Digital Diet: The 4-step plan to break your tech addiction and regain balance in your life came to life. With a career revolving around science and technology, it was impossible for Sieberg to abandon technology altogether, but he did want to find a way to use it to his advantage and not to his detriment. "My ego and I had gotten sucked in. Big time," he writes. "I'd allowed the passive acceptance of strangers to replace meaningful interaction with the people I knew and cared about. I had become more interested in a wall post here or a poke there." Like so many others, Sieberg was addicted to technology.
He created a program that he could use to evaluate the role of technology in his life in the hopes that on the other end, he would find balance and more authentic relationships. It worked for him and will for others as well. Sieberg stresses that this Diet is not about eradicating all technology and living as a Luddite -- we all know that's not realistic in this day and age. Instead, it presents an opportunity for us to take an honest look at our lives and assess what is and isn't working. This Digital Diet is "designed to guide you to a new life in four weeks... The ripple effects could improve everything from your familial relations to your marriage to your work performance. The ultimate goal is to improve yourself," adds Sieberg.
The Digital Diet takes place over four weeks and happens in the following four phases:
Step 1 // Re: Think: Consider how immersed you are in technology. Be honest. What is the effect it has had on your physical, mental and emotional health?
Step 2 // Re: Boot: Use Sieberg's innovative Virtual Weight Index to quantify the impact technology has on your daily life. What's your VWI?
Step 3 // Re: Connect: Yes, there actually are ways other than email and text to communicate with a loved one. Restore those valuable relationships.
Step 4 // Re: Vitalize: Re-introduce technology into your life with your new outlook. Find a healthy balance and use technology to help you.
The key throughout the process is to be honest with yourself and take a look at the quality of life and assess if technology is contributing for the better. Sieberg urges people to ask themselves the following questions:
If you've answered "yes" to any of these questions, it's pretty safe to say that technology is not contributing for the better. Cut the fat -- fat being gadgets -- and give the Digital Diet a test run. If not for you, then at least do it for your dinner companion who really doesn't want to see you texting at the table anymore.
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The saddest examples of tech toy dependency are the parents who use their 'Crackberries' at a child's sporting event or concert. Awhile back, I went to my grandson's Tae Kwon Do class. At any given time, a minimum of three moms or dads were ignoring their offspring and punching away furiously on the keys of their electronic devices. After the class, as we were all collecting our kids, one mother impatiently shushed her little boy as he came up to hug her because she was busy texting.
That woman doesn't need a Digital Diet, she needs some kind of Tech Addiction Rehab.
And one more thing- you don't have to answer your phone every time it rings, especially if it's someone you talk to all the time. If you're having lunch with someone keep your phone off the table, and if your boyfriend calls you for the third time that day you don't have to stop your lunch conversation to answer it just to say "hey babe I'll call you back later". Just put the phone away!!