Things I Learnt on IFC's Goth Cruise

When I was 17 years old I threw out my pink, bought a black fringed skirt, crimped my dyed hair, bought Bauhaus' back catalogue and gave my heart to Robert Smith. The pop charts didn't offer solace for my troubled adolescent heart in the same way that Morrissey could. When he sang -- "I wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside" -- it was like he had written it just for me.

I was a goth.

Growing up in the North East of England in the 1980's, within spitting distance of Whitby, the home of Dracula, there were pretty much two choices of tribe available to me: Goth or not.

I enjoyed the easy access rebellion, the opportunity it gave me to revel in the darker side of life and the kinship I felt with my newfound brothers and sisters in black. It enabled me to assert my independence from my parents and toughened me up. I felt the dual pleasures of reveling in the attention my outrageous outfits elicited and resenting the hassle I received from other people that didn't understand my life or choice of outfit.

After two years of being a card-carrying member of the Goth community I started to tire of black, black, black and more black. Art College beckoned and I felt that there were different ways to express my individuality than wearing the cookie-cutter uniform of a dark rebel. Gradually the black in my wardrobe was replaced by more and more colour and less than six months later Goth was merely a phase I had gone through.

Over 15 years later, I attended the wedding of an old school friend. At school she was the archetypal 'Siouxsie Sioux' Goth with giant crimped hair and heavily kohled eyes that parents despised and I loved. Now in her early 40's, she walked down the aisle a vision in black, channelling Mortiticia Adams from her floor length gown to her black veil. She was so exotic that I couldn't help but feel like a 'mundane' and admire her commitment and staying power.

Seeing this face from my past that really seemed to embody the subculture and made me want to find other Goths who had also stayed the distance. Within a few clicks online, I found thousands of them. Goth is as alive and well today as it was in the 1980's when 'Bela Legosi's Dead' was first released. As the Goth author Voltaire puts it "Goth is undead, undead, undead."

As an artist and documentarian, I was able to pursue this curiosity as I set out to make a film about older Goths. When I found "The Goth Cruise" -- an annual vacation taken by 150 American Goths to the sunshine of the Caribbean, on a fabulously luxurious cruise ship -- I knew I had found the paradoxically perfect environment to make a film about Goth sub-culture.

IFC commissioned my feature documentary Goth Cruise and before I knew it we were packing for a sojourn to the sunshine with 150 'people in black'.

Featured in the film are: Heath aka DJ Storm (NYC), a mild-mannered, black computer programmer by day, cross-dressing Goth DJ by night, Mike and Amanda (NJ) 26 year old cruise virgins on their honeymoon, Lobster X, (NC) an extrovert architect who dresses up as Satan on board ship, Sean T. Lewis a.k.a. The Angry Patriot, (OR) a single dad to teenage Goths and a veteran of the first Gulf war and Ian, Bridie and Kyle (UK), a 24/7 lifestyle Goth family from the UK.

In making the film, I wanted to know:

What is it about Goth that fascinates people all over the world?

How do you reconcile sweeping sadness with Pina Coladas and an all you can eat buffet?

Just what the hell happens on a Goth Cruise?

So, what did I learn?

1. Cruise Ships are very surreal places

Although I studied the 'virtual tour' of the Explorer of the Seas online, nothing fully prepared me for the intense, 14 story, neon-lit experience that was simply walking around the ship. From the towel animals left in our cabins, the 'day of the week' carpet in the elevator floor, to the ice and chocolate midnight buffet, it was very other worldly. The sight of our 150 Goths sauntering to formal dining night, in 'maximum Goth gear,' stood out like a bruise. A cruise ship environment is everything that is the antithesis of Goth.

2. Goth is a much more extreme expression of self in the US

Most of the cruisers were 'Corp-Goths' who keep their Goth identity hidden at work. A handful of cruisers were unable to be shown on film for fear of professional repercussions. To British ears this was unusual and fascinating and I had never come across this before. Many talked about the common misconception that Goth is synonymous with satanic worship in the US.

Curiously, at Whitby Goth Weekend, (the largest Gothic festival in the UK), I was almost unable to find anyone amongst the Brits who would identify themselves as Goth, despite more than looking the part. In the US, choosing to be Goth is a badge of honour and the people I met wore it with pride, even if the way they expressed it was more sartorially reserved than their UK counterparts. Sean, our 'Elder Goth' expressed it like this -- "America tries to force you to be happy being happy... Goths want to be happy, but we also want to be sad, and we want to be angry, we want to have a full range of emotions...You can't have the light without the dark, we're the dark so they can have their light."

3. Goths love karaoke, hot tubs and cocktails

It's fair to say that the Goth group stole the show at Karaoke (aka Scaryoke) almost every night. They accompanied my bellowing of "Don't stop me now" with Shaun of the Dead zombie killing actions and stormed the dance floor to "We are Family." All this was washed down with fruity rum cocktails and most of the singers relaxed afterwards in the adult only hot tub for a nightly stewing of 'Goth Soup.'

4. Every woman should make room in their wardrobe for at least one corset

I was most jealous of the Goth wardrobe on formal night. Watching Miranda Vulture constrain her formidable bosom into a rock hard corset, creating a powerful hourglass outline made me want to celebrate my curves and get tied into a corset of my own. Goth is certainly an inclusive church and the women in corsets proved that beauty doesn't just come in one size. It was very liberating and totally understanding the appeal of wearing a look that curves was indeed a bonus.

5. Little old ladies from Jersey love Satan

Prior to the cruise I had heard a lot about 'Satan Night' where Lobster doesn't just dress up in Goth gear -- he dresses up as the Devil in red grease paint, feathers, horns and a kilt. I had anticipated some cruisers would be offended but everyone duly lined up to get their photo taken with Satan. He was simply another souvenir photo opportunity.

In the end, the people who took part in the film were incredibly generous with their intimate testimonies and really gave part of themselves to the documentary. There are many reasons for coming to Goth and they articulate them eloquently.

Whether you are a 'freak' and seek solace in the company of other 'freaks', you are a boy but want to be a Goth girl, you don't want to wear khakis and be 'a bankers box' all your life, you're 'pudgy' but can dance elegantly in a corset, you're 'a man in black' and will wear black until the world is a better place, or it's simply 'something inside that Goth has brought out.'

I hope that I have captured some of the fun and surreal nature of the cruise in my film but also the very personal and heartfelt reasons for being drawn to this dark subculture. I think ultimately Goth Cruise is a film about acceptance and being yourself, whatever that takes.

Goth Cruise premieres on IFC FREE (VOD): November 27, 2008 at Midnight.

Comments

[DocManhattan]

I love this quote:

"America tries to force you to be happy being happy... Goths want to be happy, but we also want to be sad, and we want to be angry, we want to have a full range of emotions..­.You can't have the light without the dark, we're the dark so they can have their light."

I can't think of a better way to put it. It summarizes my attraction to everything from Sisters of Mercy to Nirvana to Tchaikovsky to Camus to Francis Bacon. As I recall, Plato also wrote (citing Socrates) that pleasure could only be appreciated through knowledge of pain ...

[lewes17266]

My friend's daughter is into Goth. She went to school to learn how to cut and style Goth hair and is making that her career now and is successful at it in Annapolis. Apparently people will pay very high sums to get that hair. She is very nice and her friends are nice too - just scarey looking.

[rektruax]

While never part of the scene, I do look forward to this Doc. The music was always too "doom and gloom" and not remotely enough chops to hold my interest, but the personality of a lot of the kids I knew who were into it merits an examination.

As far as the clothes and style goes, I think Zappa put it best...

"No matter what you're wearing, it's just another uniform."

[MajorKong]

So how can Goths be rebels if they all look alike? Sounds like they just created their own conformity in their quest for nonconformity.

[rupert12]

Exactly. It's like this with every so-called subculture that prides itself on being anti mainstream. From goths and ravers all the way back to hippies and beatniks before them. They cry out that they don't fit in with "normal" society and need to express their true individuality, then they go and conform to some other group. They're rebels! Sure they are. That's why they all wear the same clothes, listen to the same music, and talk the same way. It's all basically one and the same thing, only the clothes and the hairstyles change.

I know this because I used to be one of these people (I won't say which one). One of the greatest periods of my life was when I stopped caring about how I compared with other people and started truly thinking for myself.

[rektruax]

Great point you make. I managed a little record resale shop in Detroit about 20 years ago and the Goth kids would come in complaining about my lack off "alternative" music. When I asked what that was exactly, they'd tell me it was music out of the mainstream. Music radio doesn't play...

So then I'd say "so Bruford's Earthworks, or the Dixie Dregs are alternative"?

No no no... apparantly I just didn't "get it".

Well.. "Didn't the Cure sell-out Joe Louis arena two nights in a row the last time they played town?"

"Yeah... but you still don't get it".

OK kids, run along... I heard there was a black lipstick sale at the Milliken's cosmetic counter.

Kinda funny now.

[SpaghettyIrish]

Brian: "You don't need to follow me! You're ALL individuals!"

Massive Crowd, in unison: "YES! WE'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS!"

One Man in Crowd, raises hand, meekly: "I'm not."