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Jeanne Safer, Ph.D.
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Jeanne Safer, PhD has been a psychoanalyst in New York City for forty years, and is the author of five books on "taboo topics" -- the things everybody thinks about but nobody talks about. Her most recent book is Cain's Legacy: Liberating Siblings from a Lifetime of Rage, Shame, Secrecy, and Regret (Basic). Her website is

Entries by Jeanne Safer, Ph.D.

'Tis the Season for Sibling Strife: A Survival Guide

(0) Comments | Posted November 25, 2013 | 6:00 PM

I ran into an acquaintance right around this time last year after Cain's Legacy, my second book on contentious sibling relationships, was published. "I wish I could have read it before Thanksgiving with my family," she said regretfully. "When I walked into...

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Love Him, Hate His Politics: How a Liberal/Conservative Romance Endures

(80) Comments | Posted October 28, 2013 | 4:21 PM

This November fifth, like every Election Day for the last three decades, I'll show up faithfully at my polling place rain or shine, even if there's another Hurricane Sandy in New York City. Once again, I'll be pulling the levers for some people I actually agree with, for some I'm...

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Diana Nyad and Swimming Torture: Hellish Ordeal or Athletic Ideal?

(0) Comments | Posted September 12, 2013 | 9:21 AM

On her fifth try, 64-year-old endurance swimmer Diana Nyad recently became the first human to complete the 110 mile swim from Havana to Key West, without a shark cage for protection. She did it in 53 hours, vomiting repeatedly, neither ravaged by jellyfish nor being eaten, and earned universal acclaim...

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The 'Childfree' Life: The Latest Version of Having It All

(19) Comments | Posted August 14, 2013 | 2:12 PM

I am delighted that an article on women who choose not to be mothers, "The Childfree Life: When Having It All Means Not Having Children," has finally made it to the cover of TIME magazine; when my book Beyond Motherhood: Choosing a Life Without Children was published...

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Hooking Up Is Hard to Do: The Hidden Perils of Uber-Casual Sex

(24) Comments | Posted July 31, 2013 | 4:05 PM

A gigantic naked female thigh on a rumpled bed dominates the front page of The Style Section of a recent Sunday's New York Times. Underneath, a headline screams "Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game Too." The women of the University of Pennsylvania have spoken: hooking up...

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The Love of a Good Woman?

(2) Comments | Posted July 25, 2013 | 7:06 PM

All of New York City and beyond -- especially women -- are wondering today why Huma stayed. Not only stayed, but read a supportive statement at Anthony's news conference, where he stated once again that it's all behind them. Nobody but his wife believes it at this point; yesterday my...

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Sibling Sadists vs. Schoolyard Bullies: Equal at Last!

(3) Comments | Posted July 16, 2013 | 12:37 PM

It's official: a study of 3,600 children published in the Journal of Pediatrics and recently reported in The New York Times shows unequivocally that the emotional and physical tortures inflicted by your siblings, your closest relatives -- often under the noses of your own parents -- cause as much damage...

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Leaving Unloving Lovers and Unfriendly Friends

(6) Comments | Posted June 5, 2013 | 11:54 AM

Out of the blue, the woman who had once been my closest friend and confidante left me a message that she was in the hospital. We hadn't spoken in two years. I decided, after several days of agitated deliberation, not to call her back.

It was one of the hardest,...

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